Nice People 12: Nice in Nice

zagubov

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Mas' day has left him feeling very, very brave. He ventured on to the biggest Scottish thread!


:eek:

:eek:

:eek:

Tis a scary place, that one. :eek::eek:

Or else it isn't, I can never remember which.:)

neverdespairgirl

The Waitrose near us does lots of discounted stuff - they have red stickers, here, though. And when they do reduce things, they don't mess around, either, they really go for it.

Because lots of people work near here, the supermarket does loads of ready made sandwiches, salads, cake, all that sort of thing, and OH won't give them houseroom, reduced or not. But they also do lots of discounts at about 7.30pm on chunks of fresh fish, or chopped up but otherwise left alone fruit, that sort of thing.

GDB2222

Nikkster wrote: »

No, it doesn't. I'm not shoplifting! Or asking him to eat the stuff.

Its not very pleasant though. After talking it through here, I either need to ignore it, or do something about it ([STRIKE][STRIKE][STRIKE]shop elsewhere, complain[/STRIKE][/STRIKE][/STRIKE] or confront).
But I have options.
Thank you ask for listening to my whinging and offering your help

I've just amended that for you. The thought that you would shop elsewhere because of the creepy shop assistant .... Nah! Talk to his manager .... A bit wimpish.

I'm a confronter. "I've noticed that you've been looking at me a lot when I come in the store. Do you have a problem with my shopping here? What's the issue?" He can then say that he's head over heels in love with you, or look extremely shifty whilst denying that he ever looks at you. If the latter, tell him how delighted you are to hear that.

Remember that you are doing the shop a favour by buying up stuff they would otherwise have to bin. You are also helping to save the planet. So, please keep up the good work.

PasturesNew

It's a shame he doesn't say something .... and that you can't be prepared for a drop dead comeback.

There's nothing worse than "minimum wage monkeys" thinking something's amusing. You get it in posh shops when the assistants think you're too poor to shop there (so posh people have told me).



At least repeat in your head: "You only work in a shop .... see ya, don't wanna be ya!"

GDB2222

I was wrong when I said that you can't fight Ebola with troops, apparently. Pres Obama thinks you can.

lostinrates

GDB2222 wrote: »

Nikki, if you ignore his behaviour he will eventually stop. In any case, why do you care what this idiot thinks?

Complaining to customer services or the manager will not affect what the idiot thinks. It will just make him keep his thoughts to himself more.

You should make it a point of principle not to change your shopping habits. Why should you? Courage and dignity, that's what you need! Although you don't need a lot of courage to face the silly twerp.

Masomnia wrote: »

I agree with this. Rise above it

Nikkster wrote: »

We're up to months now. At least the beginning of this year when I first noticed it. Tonight was the first time I realised I could actually complain. I'd love to just brazen it out. Its not very nice seeing someone literally pointing you out though. I really wish I'd shown him I was paying full price for everything today (well, everything was on offer but no out of date stuff). I know I'm not the only person who buys that stuff. I'm sure I'm neither the least polite nor most distinctive of them.

Sorry gdb and Mas, I think you are both wrong, There is an instinctive part of me that thinks this is something different.

If nikkster already thinks 'is it worth coming to this shop' its different. Its something that happens not infrequently to women, and sometimes to people who are different but seem weaker that the perpetrator...

Don't ignore it.

LydiaJ

Nikkster

I don't feel at all sure what you should do about it, but I am certain that it is not OK and you shouldn't keep putting up with it. If it's been going on for 9 months already then it's not something he's going to get bored of and stop doing. If it were me, I think I'd feel very vulnerable if I tried to confront him myself. The fact that he does it at all indicates that he doesn't get it about treating people/customers/women with respect. What he's doing is basically a form of bullying. Confronting bullies is often effective if it's done right at the beginning, but I'm not sure it often works out well if done after the situation has become entrenched as this has.

I wish one of us lived near enough to come into the shop with you. Maybe come into the shop separately from you to start with so as to observe his behaviour when he thinks you're alone as usual, and then either to confront him for you, or support him as you confront him yourself or speak to the manager - to back you up against his almost inevitable denials that will result if you or his manager or anybody else speaks to him about it.

silvercar

Nikks, does knowing that his behaviour is unacceptable, make it easier? I think that going up to him in a "what's your problem?" way just makes you look aggressive and more conforming to the stereotypical yellow sticker fan. If you wanted to put in him in his place, ask him for assistance "I know you are only the yellow sticker man, but is there someone more senior that could help me with cake ordering."

silvercar

michaels wrote: »

On the btl, the buyers who weren't in the summer have now come back 6 weeks later and said they will pay our 'acceptable reduction' price. 30% chance of it going through imho.

Good luck with that. Do you have tenants in at the moment.

I looked at a potential BTL yesterday. The lesson is never to sell a property with tenants in situ. Estate Agent (who looked like he had only left primary school) said they would accept an offer 2% less than asking price :rotfl: I said if they wanted anything like that sort of money they need to sell with vacant possession and tidy the place up and attend to repairs before marketing.

GDB2222

LydiaJ wrote: »

Nikkster

I don't feel at all sure what you should do about it, but I am certain that it is not OK and you shouldn't keep putting up with it. If it's been going on for 9 months already then it's not something he's going to get bored of and stop doing. If it were me, I think I'd feel very vulnerable if I tried to confront him myself. The fact that he does it at all indicates that he doesn't get it about treating people/customers/women with respect. What he's doing is basically a form of bullying. Confronting bullies is often effective if it's done right at the beginning, but I'm not sure it often works out well if done after the situation has become entrenched as this has.

I wish one of us lived near enough to come into the shop with you. Maybe come into the shop separately from you to start with so as to observe his behaviour when he thinks you're alone as usual, and then either to confront him for you, or support him as you confront him yourself or speak to the manager - to back you up against his almost inevitable denials that will result if you or his manager or anybody else speaks to him about it.

I operate on the basis that Lydia is always right. Denials are inevitable, but isn't that okay? If he says it has not happened, then it won't be happening in the future, will it?