Bed time for teenagers

Penny2myName

My DD will be 13 in Oct, and she barely sleeps. The actual 'get to sleep growl' is normally when I go to bed. Though I have passed her on the stairs before where she is getting up and i am going to bed at 4am. My kids do have set bedtimes, 8:30 for DS 9 and he takes himself up. DD's is 9:30 though she tends to either watching tv or i have seen her sign online (then she gets the GET TO BED) IM. Somtimes she will fall asleep within half an hour other times i am begging her to just please go to sleep at midnight.
DD also does a 9mile round trip on her bike everyday for school, and still isn't tired.

skylight

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I
I must say it's more the 'adult' time I miss: much happier when they're in their rooms after 9 pm.

This is a problem for us as well! OH and I tend to go to bed at 10ish - we are both shattered after long days, and also like to spend some time together. I mean, with working hours, we get 6 hours a WEEK together alone based on bed-time hours!

DD1 (13yo) goes to bed at 9. When she starts year 9 at school, I will still ask her to go up at 9, but lights out at 9.30.

SD (16yo) goes to bed at 9.30 and stays up reading until about 10.30. This is when she stay with us. When at Nans house, she is rarely in doors by 11pm. Luckily for me (in more ways than one) she is spending more time at Nans than here.

angela6834

budget_counsellor_shaz wrote: »

I have read the threads I'm a mum of 3 children now 22, 20 and 18, I was a single mum when they were teenagers. I fostered teenagers for 13 years. I'm also a secondary school teacher.

Children always say things like ' all their friends stay up later' In fact I'm sure
I said the same thing to my parents.

As a parent you need to decide the best for your children, they are young adults and you are the parent so therefore you make the decision. I would suggest however you split there bedtimes by half an hour and give them a bit more freedom at the weekend. But if you don't agree do what you think is best.:T You sound like a sensible mother who cares about her children.

I do not think that 9.30pm is too early for a school night.

Too many parents don't give a damn and stop being the parent too early!!!:mad:

Maybe if some of the children in my classes had parents that put them to bed at sensible times they would be able to cope with life a bit better. We all need our sleep:rolleyes:

I also have a great relationship with my children and they get on well with each other. They are now fantastic adults and I'm so proud of them!;)

Shaz

I left work tonight and all the posts seemed to think I was rather strict. Have just logged on to show my OH and the posts seem to have altered some what!!

The above is almost identical to how I was thinking. The kids would come home talking about some TV or something and I'd ask how they found the information out and they popped up with so and so at school watched it.

Now sometimes these programmes didnt even start till 11 o'clock!! To me I couldnt understand that they could concentrate properly at school if they were up so late.

I think I will try a compromise for a while as suggested. Send them to their rooms at 9.30 but let them read/ watch tv for half an hour, and lights out by 10.

I really dont feel comfortable letting them stay up any later.

Many thanks for everyones differing views.....

Angela

skylight

Angela - everyone is different and at the end of the day, we do what we feel we are comfortable with!

You do what you like! Try the extra little time, and if they moan, threaten that bed-time is either that or 8pm and they can choose which!

pulliptears

DD is 9 and goes between 9-9.30. DS is 14 and goes between 10.30-11pm. They both get up at 7.15 with no trouble

dora37

DS1 (16) goes to bed on school nights at 10 and DS2 (13) at 8.45. We are up at 6.40, so the bedtimes work well.

DS2 especially needs lots of sleep, so each child can vary.

winnie81

Noctu wrote: »

IMO, 9.30pm is too early for a 15 year old. I'd say around 10-10.30pm would be better..

I have to agree with this too

patchwork_cat

My 14 year old is exactly the same as februarycat. It is supposed to be 10, but he will drag it out 'til 10.30. Short of a row there is not a lot we can do. Every so often I will get fed up when he starts pushing it 'til 10.45 and he has a 9 and read , that seems to sort it out but often for only about a fortnight. I would like a 9.30 bed, but his mates all go to bed later and he feels very hard done to. I think that 10 - 10.30 is probably fair enough for a 7-7.30 wake up. It is about what I did at the same age- a long time ago!

budget_counsellor_shaz

I think I will try a compromise for a while as suggested. Send them to their rooms at 9.30 but let them read/ watch tv for half an hour, and lights out by 10.

I really dont feel comfortable letting them stay up any later.

angela6834 I think that would be great.

I worry about the control that some parents, seem to let their children have, over them.

It is important that children are loved and although they don't always understand why we make decisions, as parents we need to make them.

If the respect isn't there, what hope does the rest of society have with our children as they go through various stages as they grow up.

We spend our lives having to abide by rules and understanding where the line is. It is the parents job to teach respect, to their children.

Maybe thats why the prisons are so over crowded at the moment because parents stopped being parents too early!!!:rolleyes:

Parenting is an important role, what we do as parents and the decisions we make for the right reasons so that they are able to grow into confident, considerate and respectful adults.

Shaz

Hapless_2

up until I was 16 it was 9.30pm, no telly in my room but I could read if I wanted to. You make the rules, YOU are the parent.