Bed time for teenagers

angela6834

Errata wrote: »

I would have been insulted if my parents had insisted I went to bed at 9.30, because when I was 15 I was working, contributing to the household as an adult and I expected to be treated as an adult, not a child.

My DS turned 15 in June and my DD will be 14 in January. He is a very young 15 year old!!!

angela6834

Februarycat wrote: »

My son is 14 and its usually 10.30 and he gets up at 7.15. I did say 10 o'clock on a school night but I noticed it got to 10.30 sometimes 11, but he gets up most mornings without me shouting him so cannot complain.

This did happen too....I did change it to 10 a few months ago for about a week but they were still up, in their rooms at 10.30, so I altered it back to 9.30!!

[Deleted User]

Like JS-other-half I was going to suggest that if you want some time to yourself, say to them that you would appreciate some time to yourself in the evenings, so you would like them to be in their rooms by 9.30pm and they can read, or listen to music quietly, tv or whatever they have in their rooms, BUT lights out is 10.30 when you go to bed and they have to still be able to get up in the morning. That way, they go to bed an hour later but you still get some time.

HTH?

budget_counsellor_shaz

angela6834 wrote: »

Just thought I'd ask your advice. What time do you think is a reasonable bed time for teenagers? I have a 15 year old and a 13 year old and they both have to be in bed by 9.30pm.

They are both starting to complain a bit that ' all their friends stay up later'.

Now I dont normally take any notice of these cries but just wondered what you all thought would be a reasonable time.

I have read the threads I'm a mum of 3 children now 22, 20 and 18, I was a single mum when they were teenagers. I fostered teenagers for 13 years. I'm also a secondary school teacher.

Children always say things like ' all their friends stay up later' In fact I'm sure
I said the same thing to my parents.

As a parent you need to decide the best for your children, they are young adults and you are the parent so therefore you make the decision. I would suggest however you split there bedtimes by half an hour and give them a bit more freedom at the weekend. But if you don't agree do what you think is best.:T You sound like a sensible mother who cares about her children.

I do not think that 9.30pm is too early for a school night.

Too many parents don't give a damn and stop being the parent too early!!!:mad:

Maybe if some of the children in my classes had parents that put them to bed at sensible times they would be able to cope with life a bit better. We all need our sleep:rolleyes:

I also have a great relationship with my children and they get on well with each other. They are now fantastic adults and I'm so proud of them!;)

Shaz

michelefauk

My two are the same ages are yours, DD1 is 15 and DS 13 and they both go to bed at 10 pm, sometimes they will take themselves up earlier if they are tired. they are both good at getting up, at 7 -7.15 on a school day, this could be because their 2 yr old sister stands outside their rooms shouting at them to get up though! i find the best way to get them upstairs any earlier is to say I am going to bed myself, both of them are too scared to stay up by themselves lol! they do stay up later at the weekends, epspecially DD1 as she does some babysitting for our neighbours, but not usually much later than 11 pm. sometimes midnight.
hope this helps, and good luck!

MattB_4

I think 9, which progressed naturally through to 10. When i was about 16 i had to be in by 10 and pretty much went to bed then but wasnt made to. My younger brother had things much much easier afterwards, but i guess that's part of being your parents eldest!

oops_a_daisy

I go to bed as soon as my teeneager tells me to :eek: shes bigger than me

seriously though my DD is 13 and she goes to bed some time between 9.30 and 10pm on a school night and gets up at 7am. I am sure that I have read somewhere that teenagers need sleep more on a morning than on a night

LameDuck

My 15 year old son decides when he goes to bed - although he knows he will be woken at 7am whatever time he goes to sleep - generally i get the 'night' shout at 10.30. My 13 year old daughter again decides her own bedtime however it cannot be later than 10pm - she is out doing some kind of sports activity most nights so needs time for tea and homework. My 10 year old goes to bed no later than 9pm in the summer to make the most of the light nights with his friends but it's 8.0pm in the winter.

I think it is important to give them some responsibility for their own actions - I never had a curfew time or bedtime when I was growing up, but I knew I was going to be woken up at 7 for school/work whatever time I got in - even now 20 years later I still panic if it gets to 11 and I'm not in bed!!!

Savvy_Sue

I gave up on bedtimes with my eldest when he was about 16, it descended to shouting matches, tears and great distress. And as he wasn't giving any trouble in the mornings, that seemed to work. He's 20 now and still a night owl, but he can get up when he has to and is doing well at Uni.

DS2 is 17 and also a nightowl, but he does seem to need less sleep than the rest of us as he's also an early bird!

DS3 is 15 and the shouting matches have started ... But then they also cover why he hasn't started his coursework, done the washing up, let me know he is going to be late home etc etc etc.

I must say it's more the 'adult' time I miss: much happier when they're in their rooms after 9 pm.

And yes, needing to be woken is quite normal, although I encourage mine to use alarm clocks (on their phones) to get up because they have to be out soon after 7.30 am, and I really don't like mornings! So I get up then and check they're moving, but if they're not they're going to be late!

gollygosh

i must be a truly awful parent no teenagers yet but ds 9.5 goes to bed at 7.30 lights out at 8 and dd 7.75 bed at 7 lights out at 7.30!! they both get up at 6.30 do loads of sport and are quite happy with the arrangement. show your teens this post and threaten them with a month at my house!!!!!