Single Dad, working nights!

Skulls

Thanks again for all your time in replying, love you all xxx

When she came home from school tonight I measured her, she's actually 5'6'! My doorways are only 6'3" going to run out of space for the notches soon!

tillyenna

Have you considered getting an Au Pair? I did Au Pair work for a while at 19 (admittedly for a four year old) but you might find someone who was willing to be in overnight, in exchange for cheap board whilst they study - I appreciate not an immediate solution, but if SS kick up a fuss you can say it's something you're looking into.

alias*alibi

Skulls wrote: »

Thanks again for all your time in replying, love you all xxx

When she came home from school tonight I measured her, she's actually 5'6'! My doorways are only 6'3" going to run out of space for the notches soon!

To be fair my daughter is 9 years old; over 4ft 7 and I don't even leave her in the house alone whilst I pop to the corner shop. That's more my paranoia than anything though.

I'm guessing the social care visit is a look and see. They will probably want to speak to you and your daughter (seperately) and check out your home. They will take it from there; either close the case with some recommendations or transfer it to a longer term team for monitoring. Difficult situation for you as you need to make a living but also have a dependent. Hope the visit goes ok.

Skulls

Just a quick update. Had a one hour call with a supervisor from SS on Monday, followed by an e-mail saying my cctv supervision of my daughter was not good enough and she was passing everything on to my local team to investigate.

It's now Thursday 3 days later and no phone call. e-mail or letter, so they must be very concerned!

I did reply to the e-mail saying I was looking forward to another meeting with my local SS team, as last time, a few years ago, they investigated a malicious phone call, they visited and said they had absolutely no idea who or why the caller had made the call as they were totally happy about myself and daughter. Two days later I received a letter from SS thanking me for informing them about the situation but, they could not see/find any of the problems. They would not be taking the matter any further. Later the same day I got a call from my daughter's Mum saying there was a letter there saying they were happy with my situation and the case had been closed. They had mixed the letters, I received the Mum's and she got mine, so I now knew who had contacted them!

I phoned the local office and pointed out their mistake. 10 mins later I received a call from the woman in charge of my local office, to say she apologised profusely would be an understatement. Her closing line was,'if there's anything I can do to help in the future, just call'.............. Maybe it's time I called her!

Here endeth the second phase, onto the next.

springdreams

Glad to hear things have been sorted out for you and your daughter, and that SS are not concerned about the steps you are taking :beer:

silvercar

springdreams wrote: »

Glad to hear things have been sorted out for you and your daughter, and that SS are not concerned about the steps you are taking :beer:

Did you read what Skulls posted?

Skulls wrote:

Just a quick update. Had a one hour call with a supervisor from SS on Monday, followed by an e-mail saying my cctv supervision of my daughter was not good enough and she was passing everything on to my local team to investigate.

The longer they leave it before contacting you, the better it will look if you have taken heed of what they said.

Cctv supervision has been deemed "not good enough", so you need to look at alternatives. Under new legislation everyone is entitled to ask for flexible working, is this an option for you? If you can't change your work pattern, can you get a sitter/ au-pair?

Skulls

I may be able to slightly change work pattern, if the boss will allow me to work 3 x 12 shifts and take a 4 hour cut. au-pair not really, house is only 2 bedroom. The longer they leave it, it will seem as if they are not that concerned but, they do not want to say it's all OK!

silvercar

Skulls wrote: »

I may be able to slightly change work pattern, if the boss will allow me to work 3 x 12 shifts and take a 4 hour cut. au-pair not really, house is only 2 bedroom. The longer they leave it, it will seem as if they are not that concerned but, they do not want to say it's all OK!

That is one interpretation. The other is that they are giving you time to sort it out, having been told it is not acceptable. The risk is that the wife makes another complaint and they look at the file and tell you they said it was unacceptable weeks/months ago and that you should have sorted it.

rpc

I would start trying to make changes.

SS have said that the current setup is not acceptable to them. In their eyes, you can either be the parent that cares and tries to make changes or you can be the parent that has been told you need to change but is just ignoring them.

I suspect you are a long way down their list of priorities (and they are likely to be overworked) but they will get to you eventually.

Is paying someone to babysit overnight an option? All they have to do is sleep, really so you might find some willing people.

duchy

Interesting about the letters getting mixed up -I wonder if this was Medway. They once called on my neighbour as they had the house number wrong she redirected them to the correct house number and thought no more of it til a week later she opened a letter without checking who it was addressed to and it was their report on the visit (which involved sexual abuse) obviously no-one had corrected the address. She didn't know what to do about it so gave it to me I rang SS and someone collected the report within half an hour (never known the council to move so fast)

Do you have a spare room? An AuPair would resolve the situation- probably cost you £50 a week (plus food) and make the agreement that that are there at night three times a week plus do a bit of housework- otherwise for overnight stays three times a week try advertising at a local hospital. I had a flatmate who was a nurse and she used to do sleepovers in an elderly lady's house -literally she would go in about nine -and leave at seven the next morning. No duties at all except be there. I covered for her when she was on holiday and it really was money for old rope.
It may be worth presenting these ideas to SS and seeing what they say.