Single Dad, working nights!

RAS

Smoke detector and fire drill?

Intruder drill?

bellevie

Its a bit of a tough one really, as even if you worked days, most childminders stop looking after children age 12, by then they are expected to make their own way home from secondary school etc, but in those cases most will only be home alone 2-3-4 hours before a parent is home.

Worst case scenario, if you have the room, you could hire a 'nanny' or 'home help' to stay over on those 3 nights, just to keep everyone happy - if SS see it as a problem that is.

ManofLeisure_2

BucksLady wrote: »

OP, although I do empathise with you, your situation does concern me. Earlier this year I was at home on my own and had an attempted break-in at my property. It was really scary and I wouldn't wish anyone to go through that. However, I'm an adult and had the maturity to act in a way that a Minor may not. My fear would be that the same might happen to your daughter. We have very high security here - but it didn't matter to the guys concerned.
I do wish you well for the future

I think the point you make about a 'Minor' not having the maturity to deal with situations/unforseen circumstances, is a valid one.

It is my understanding that a child under 16 is not deemed responsible enough to be left along at night time. Every child is different - but there has to be a stated age - whether we like it or not. I have 4 children and would suggest that 2 of them were extremely sensible at 12 or 13, the other 2 were not.

pmlindyloo

Reading the link that has already been provided

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

the advice is not to leave a 12 year old alone overnight.

Now previous posters may be correct and social services decide that they are happy with your arrangements.

However, social workers work to their own guidelines so I would seriously suggest your having contingency plans.

Can you not change your working hours to day time? Your employer has a legal duty to consider your request and not refuse it without reasonable reasons?

Is there no other adult who could come and stay overnight while you work?

We will all have ideas about the right and wrongs of leaving a 12 year old overnight but, dare I say, as a parent I could not live with the consequences if something awful happened. We all believe that it can't happen to us and statistics can be used to back that up but realistically there is always that chance.

Skulls

Got smoke detector and a carbon monoxide detector. If needed I could take her to work, I'm a night manager in a hotel, just use the nearest room to reception for her, I have done in the past 2 or 3 times.

Mojisola

Skulls wrote: »

If needed I could take her to work, I'm a night manager in a hotel, just use the nearest room to reception for her, I have done in the past 2 or 3 times.

Do you know any local responsible older teens through the hotel work (or a retiree) who would sleep over three times a week? It would be money for doing nothing, really, so you could negotiate a fairly low payment.

vanilla_twist

I have read every post.
I think while being investigated and still problems with maternal access, and while your daughter remains this young, then taking her to work with you to sleep in a nearby room is the best solution. Ok it means she gets to sleep a bit late on a school night but I am sure you can arrange for these to be mostly non school mornings.
With the summer holidays coming up I think your daughter sleeping at the hotel is the best solution plus means you get proper work breaks rather than rushing home every break.

As your daughter gets older this could get easier (or harder) but she sounds like a well rounded girl and you sound like an extremely caring father.
Best of luck
V x

FBaby

Being investigated is not the same as being found guilty. It is absolutely right that they should investigate as they are not to know at this stage that you have considered safety and that your daughter is very mature and happy with the situation.

Some 12yo can be as or more mature than some 16yo, so age alone is not going to be a make or break factor. What you need to do though is come across as cooperative, that you respect their need to investigate and don't go defensive if they start asking questions about other potential avenues.

whitewing

At some point, she is going to need some privacy so CCTV is not going to be appropriate.

Sleeping at your work seems sensible, and she could still potentially get help if anything happened to you.

Tixy

Wait and see what happens with SS. I wouldn't change anything at the moment.

If they come to speak to you about it you and your daughter can explain your set up, what happens in the usual routine and the various precautions you have taken.

If after talking to you and considering they say that they don't think it is appropriate as a long term arrangement and recommend that you find an alternative then that is the point to make other arrangements, which might be a combination of the various suggestions (staying at the hotel, staying at Nan's an extra night, considering finding a night sitter, looking for different work etc).