Why do people choose to get married?

Lily-Rose_3

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I won't be "having a go" at her as you call it, but I agree, there was no need to call you foolish. I can however totally see where she is coming from and what she means though.

No, I didn't think you'd have a go at 'Lovelyjoolz.' Just me it seems. So you are a disingenuous hypocrite then.

Funnily enough, her post that was so rude to me has now gone. And so have several others of hers on here (although they are still quoted in other peoples posts.) Either admin has removed them, or she realised how rude she was being, and removed them herself.

Wonder which it is?

Interesting.

geekgirl

jaylee3 wrote: »

I am merely asking why, when a woman has a baby to a man she is not married to, why she always gives the child the man's name.

I didn't. My children have my second name. No reason why children should take the fathers name.

Anatidaephobia

Billie-S wrote: »

I would be interested to see that thread about people thinking they are superior now they moved away. I moved out of a noisy and busy town centre into a much quieter suburb in another town, and I must admit, I do prefer it out here, and me and my husband are so glad we left the over-populated crime ridden town we were in, but I don't think I'm superior to the people still there. I'm just glad I no longer live there, as the semi-rural setting I am in now, is where I have always dreamed of living, and I feel blessed every day to live here. Me and my husband and wonder why we didn't move here years ago!

Here it is

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4985903

MrSmartprice

tillyenna wrote: »

Simplified:

Some people get married because they want to

Some people don't get married because they don't want to.

It's no biggie.

Exactly so. I see very little difference, a bit of paper makes no difference to a relationship. Or if it does, there is something wrong somewhere.

We got married because we felt we needed to secure our financial futures and then make wills to provide for what happened after we fall off the perch. It makes life a lot simpler, but it is actually no big deal otherwise. Our relationship is just as good as it has always been.

My wife didn't change her name after the wedding either. She had 5 years left on her passport and would have lost that by applying for one in a new name. How MSE is that!!

bugslet

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

However my son and his girlfriend have lived together for over eight years and have no plans to marry. I am fine with this, but don't know how to refer to her to other people who don't know her. ' Girlfriend' sounds too casual, 'partner' sounds like a business transaction, she is not his fiancee as they are not engaged and she is not my daughter-in-law as they are not married.

Any suggestions?

Nope! It was the one and only thing that used to drive me nuts that there wasn't a word! Particularly as we both got older, boyfriend/girlfriend was not right, partner, well we worked together and to me it's more of a business term. Let me know if you think of a word:)

Billie-S wrote: »

I do hear many more unmarried women having a go about married people than I hear married women having a go at unmarried people.
Oh re the OP, I married my husband because I firmly believe in marriage, and didn't want to be calling DH my boyfriend when we were in our 50s or older. Also I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and that he was the love of my life. So why wouldn't I marry him?

I think it's equal in terms of having a go, certainly Dunroamin on here gave me a bit of an earbashing when I explained that I had chosen not to get married. I am quite happy for others to get married, and I do love a good wedding ( as long as it's not mine:p).

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Mr Bugs, but despite him asking a few times, never wanted to get married. My parents had an unhappy marriage and my mother never left because she felt that it was expected of her to stay and money wise it would have been very difficult. I suspect my desire to remain a spinster of the parish comes from that. I am also very independent generally speaking.

tillyenna wrote: »

Simplified:

Some people get married because they want to

Some people don't get married because they don't want to.

It's no biggie.

Brill!:D

Morglin

Speedybrain wrote: »

You can love someone without being married to them, or even be living with them in the same house.

I did live with my husband, before marrying him, but the question was why people got married, not why they didn't.

I married him because I loved him.

Lin

Morglin

When I finally got free of my first marriage (a 30 year+ one!) and went through the stress, expense, and aggravation of a divorce, I swore blind I would never get married again......:eek:

Live with someone yes, tie myself with marriage, no.

Anyways DH and I lived together, very happily, and I knew I'd found the love of my life.:beer:

So, I was happy just living together.

But, one day, when he came home from shopping, got on one knee (not easy, as he's disabled lol), and proposed, I lost all my doubts, said yes (to the astonishment of family and friends lol) and we got wed.

It just felt 'right' to make the ultimate commitment.

And, it was the best day's work I ever did.:j

Lin

marisco_2

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

I think after a couple of years people get bored and look towards getting someone else or seeing someone on the sly.

Everyone has different approaches and needs when it comes to the relationships they choose to have with others. Personally I think it would lead to a rather shallow and unfulfilling existence for someone to lead their life as described above.

It suggests to me that the 'getting to know you' stage is usually rushed, and a person ends up heavily involved with another who they barely know and have little compatibility with. Waste of time all round and little wonder things fizzle out before they even properly begin.

To see someone behind a partners back is the worst betrayal. It just shows that a person has no respect for the one they are with, or for themselves for that matter.

itsanne

bossymoo wrote: »

That's not why we got married either. But they sure made things a lot easier when he died, leaving me with two kiddies under the age of 3. Even though we had wills, the government would not have recognised me as his next of kin and I would not be able to get widowed parents allowance from his NI contributions. That money pays for childcare enabling me to hold down the job I've worked so hard at all these years. That marriage certificate made the whole paperwork thing so much easier at such a distressing time.
X

As this thread has become quite long and past experience shows that people often don't read the earlier posts once that happens, I'm quoting it for a second time because it is so important.

Of everything said in the thread, it's the one thing which is not simply opinion.

duchy

Forty years ago it wasn't normal to drift into living with someone after a very short time nowadays it is much more common for couples to do so before deciding if the relationship is for the long haul or not.
Perhaps one thing to be said for marriage is that it does rather focus the mind on the question "Do I want to grow old with this person" rather than just take it day at a time ?