I've never had a problem with my MIL but...

SuzieSue

Mojisola wrote: »

You've got your priorities right and she hasn't.

The idea that you should abandon the idea of buying a home for your family until after you've had a big "do" for the relatives just isn't MSE!

Exactly. She should be proud of you and your husband rather than encouraging you to waste money. Some people are unbelievable.

belfastgirl23

Honestly I would work hard at being amused by this. LOL would be my attitude - that a party is more important than a house. And just let her dream on. Especially if you otherwise get on well and you think she's a good grandma to your LOs.

Of course there is also a possibility that she does feel strongly about a religious ceremony - some people do - it is worth considering this before deciding how you feel about it.

kat360

Thank you all for commenting, Just to clarify she was at our wedding as were all our close family ( about 15 people in total) It's just oh's family are really big and they invite everyone to everything and they have a party for everything.
I thought she would be happy considering my oh had thousands of pounds of debt when he met me and now he owes nothing.(which his parents helped us pay off) :j
I talked to oh and he's going to have a chat with her, she really isn't as bad as she sounds. Oh thinks it was because he's her youngest and it was how his brother had gotten married. We think that she's upset because oh's cousin is getting married and I think she's realised that she's not going to get to do it all again.
She only ever seem to get like this when he's away, I'm going to leave him to sort it out anyway.

RuthnJasper

I honestly think that a lot of these MiL's have actually forgotten what it's like to be young and just starting out. Especially in these financially tough days.

Some people who have been "comfortably-off" for a long time, not much to pay off on their mortgages, nice car and several weeks' holiday every year, thank you very much, are unable to comprehend why a youngish couple with four children under 5 cannot stump up the cash for a big party. I still remember my mum's face when I told her how much my increased rent amount was... "But why is it so MUCH?!" she squeaked. "Because that's what it costs!" I replied - and it's Housing Association and lower rent than private!!

Kat, you sound like a smart person in a good situation who is making wise choices with your OH for your and your childrens' futures. I'm sure your MiL didn't really intend any harm. There'll be plenty of chances for parties in the future. I hope she understands that you ARE "properly married" though!

All the very best to you. x

peachyprice

You are properly married.

If she wants to throw you a party, tell her to knock herself out planning and paying for it.

ERICS_MUM

Nothing to do with her. Also she's confusing a marriage (for life hopefully) with a wedding (a few hours on one single day).

theoretica

You could take the opportunity to throw a combined house warming party with a celebration of your wedding. Everyone gets a party and you may get useful gifts?

securityguy

justme111 wrote: »

we have lots of practical issues to tend to though and those take priority , may be once we are more settled we shall do something, sorry ot turned out this way "

Why should anyone feel the need to say "sorry" to their mother in law for their own wedding?

securityguy

tillyenna wrote: »

maybe you could have a renewal of vows on a significant anniversary?) - just make sure she knows she'd be paying for it!

Because "renewing your vows" causes most people to ponder which of you had the affair, or was it perhaps both of you.

Yeah, harsh. Yeah, rude. Yeah, true.

ska_lover

Wow that is extreamly rude - after all those years, and three grandchildren, she still doesn't see you as a 'proper' couple - and thinks she has a right to tell you how to spend your cash?