Is it ok for a dad not to be sat at top table?(wedding related)

x_raphael_xx

We had 3 dads at our wedding, my OH's dad, my dad and my step-dad.
OH had her dad up, but as as I didn't want to choose between my parents I had my brother and my best friend (and maid of honor) up instead. They were both fine with that.

marisco_2

Pearlstar wrote: »

Who is paying for the wedding?

Maybe it is just me but I don't think that should affect the decision, as to whether a parent sits at the top table at a wedding or not. As a parent being there and seeing your children marry is one of life's most precious moments. It is natural that a mum or dad would want to be sat close to their son or daughter, and be able to fully join in and celebrate with them.

I am not surprised your partner is feeling upset OP. I think you should urge him to talk to his son about this. If their relationship is as good as you say then this shouldn't cause any upset or drama. It could also go a long way to making the day special for all concerned.

Mojisola

onlyroz wrote: »

It's their wedding so it's ultimately their choice.

It is their choice but I think it's strange that the groom didn't think to have a word with his Dad to explain that he was going to be the only parent not on the top table - and maybe give an explanation for their decision.

Bluejeanbaby

I think you've handled it really well & as your partner had said he's ok with it I think you should let it lie. I wonder if the venue can only accommodate so many at the top table & your stepson didn't want to split you up? I think it might look odd to split you & partner up & his mum & partner up for the sake of having both parents at top table. He may have thought it would look like he was ignoring you & his stepdad. I think by keeping you & your partner together, albeit away from the top table, he is actually acknowledging your relationship. Maybe you could do as suggested previously though & ask the best man or father of the groom to point your partner out during the speeches?

minerva_windsong

Possibly a silly question, but have you and your partner met your stepson's future in-laws? I ask because it might be that they have met the ex and her new partner, and it's less awkward for them to sit with people they know than with someone they haven't met before.


Personally I do think it's a shame your partner isn't on the top table - my OH's parents had quite a messy divorce (though they get on well with each other now) and they were on the same table at my OH's brother's wedding, with OH's stepmum on another table nearby. However, it is your stepson and his fianc!e's wedding so it's really up to them.


Whatever the reason though, I think your attitude is spot on - it's only a couple of hours and you'll have the rest of the reception to mingle with people.

burnoutbabe

why did dad not express suprise to the mum when he was told and say it seemed strange (assuming they get on well)

Surely she knows what a snub this could be seen as?