Getting married, joint finances who pays for childcare?

GobbledyGook

How are you going to work other expenses for your daughter?

If childcare is 'your' responsibility then where will the money come from if she needs new shoes, needs school uniform, has a school trip? If the child benefit/tax credits/maintenance are to cover that are you going to be able to afford all of those things, plus the childcare with 'your' new income?

What then happens if those things are 'your' responsibility and you get made redundant or end up on sick pay?

If you plan more children how are the finances going to work then?

purpleshoes_2

Some families don't believe in taking a contribution for rent. But if your partner is saving hard for your wedding, a gesture to his dad in the form of some cash would be the decent thing to do I think. After all, if he were living independently there's no way he'd be able to save as much towards the wedding.

duchy

Or maybe Dad thinks it is a good investment to finally get his son moved out

I think the OP will learn a lot about how her fiance feels about what an equitable arrangement is once they've sat down and done the SOA.

krustylouise

purpleshoes wrote: »

Actually, my view is irrespective of whether the ops wtc is reduced by her new husband moving in, if her ex isn't paying what he should be in terms of maintenance, that should increase.

And I speak as someone who grew up in the days where my mum as a single parent got no working tax credits and whose father paid the absolute bare minimum, no CSA in those days, I know first hand how tough it is for single mothers and fathers.

The bottom line is this situation has arisen and it's always going to be the case if someone's income goes up their wtc will go down.

But if the non resident parent is earning more than he's declaring, that needs to be addressed also. More than just two people involved in this situation.

Bit of an update, I spoke to Ex last night, he has worked it out and he has agreed to pay an extra £5 a week towards DD. I know it's not much I'm grateful of any help for DD to be honest.

jaylee3

krustylouise wrote: »

Bit of an update, I spoke to Ex last night, he has worked it out and he has agreed to pay an extra £5 a week towards DD. I know it's not much I'm grateful of any help for DD to be honest.

Wow, no that isn't much is it? I guess it's a start though.

krustylouise

Beckyy wrote: »

Why not add the maintenance to your salary, then take away the childcare costs - then split the bills based on that income. E.g. (if you = £500 after that calculation and OH - £1000, split the bills 33/66)

Essentially OH would be contributing towards DD's childcare, but unless her Dad is going to step up it's going to be extremely awkward when something pops up and you have no disposable income to pay for it, or your own money each month.

Or, count the childcare as another household bill and split it like the others.

Yes I did that initially and with CD TC and maintenance my "income" equalled my OH's income...it was the outgoings that were in question.

krustylouise

whodathunkit wrote: »

Sorry, that was my interpretation of your comment

"We both don't have terribly good credit scores and I doubt very much that we'll be able to get a joint account." which isn't a million miles away.

However, my other point is even more important - you're planning to marry someone who has been leaching off his father for somea period of time, which doesn't bode well for the future.

My OH hasn't "leached" off his father....when my OH was training he didn't have an income as he agreed with his employer to work for free in return for his training. Then my OH qualified, got a job and here we are.

As for poor credit score, 3 years ago OH got a catalogue in his name for his then GF who didn't pay it. Stupid - yes, but hindsight is wonderful and no one is perfect.

krustylouise

GobbledyGook wrote: »

How are you going to work other expenses for your daughter?

If childcare is 'your' responsibility then where will the money come from if she needs new shoes, needs school uniform, has a school trip? If the child benefit/tax credits/maintenance are to cover that are you going to be able to afford all of those things, plus the childcare with 'your' new income?

What then happens if those things are 'your' responsibility and you get made redundant or end up on sick pay?

If you plan more children how are the finances going to work then?

I was going to continue being responsible for all of DD's expenses {except food bills etc which would have been split half and half}. But I hadn't contemplated being made redundant or being sick.

krustylouise

purpleshoes wrote: »

Some families don't believe in taking a contribution for rent. But if your partner is saving hard for your wedding, a gesture to his dad in the form of some cash would be the decent thing to do I think. After all, if he were living independently there's no way he'd be able to save as much towards the wedding.

OH's Dad doesn't live in the house any longer and is mortgage free, it is basically sat there for his 2 sons. They both don't pay anything, and despite offers his Dad is very proud and refuses to accept money from his kids. OH does however buy food.

krustylouise

Now I've replied to all comments {thank you to all who have taken time to reply to me}....I shall give you all an update...

OH and I discussed this at great length last night and we have decided it would be easier to pool all money and use the same account to pay for all expenses. In OH's words "I want everything we earn to be ours, marriage is about sharing everything and I want to do that with you" so....problem solved. Why didn't I just mention it to him first!?!?

Thanks again to everyone who has contributed to this thread - I really appreciate it.