Getting married, joint finances who pays for childcare?

purpleshoes_2

Actually, my view is irrespective of whether the ops wtc is reduced by her new husband moving in, if her ex isn't paying what he should be in terms of maintenance, that should increase.

And I speak as someone who grew up in the days where my mum as a single parent got no working tax credits and whose father paid the absolute bare minimum, no CSA in those days, I know first hand how tough it is for single mothers and fathers.

The bottom line is this situation has arisen and it's always going to be the case if someone's income goes up their wtc will go down.

But if the non resident parent is earning more than he's declaring, that needs to be addressed also. More than just two people involved in this situation.

StuC75

*IF* the NRP is taking 'extra' £100 per week home , then that would be approx. £60-65 pm extra maintenance for the OP. Without knowing the cash amount that the OP current receives then don't know what % that is as to whether it is enough of difference for the CSA to re-assess ~ as they can stagger how those changes come in were payments to go up or down...

It is still short of what the OP will lose in Tax Credits by way of getting Married and then husband moving in.

That is the fact of this premise, and what they need to get to grips with in there combined planning.

Then it comes down to the morality of should they stay as is - and the husband not officially move in and 'retain' the extra credits\benefit, or be completely 'legit' and each pay more in to cover that shortfall..

or do they look to increase earnings? part time jobs etc...

purpleshoes wrote: »

Actually, my view is irrespective of whether the ops wtc is reduced by her new husband moving in, if her ex isn't paying what he should be in terms of maintenance, that should increase.

And I speak as someone who grew up in the days where my mum as a single parent got no working tax credits and whose father paid the absolute bare minimum, no CSA in those days, I know first hand how tough it is for single mothers and fathers.

The bottom line is this situation has arisen and it's always going to be the case if someone's income goes up their wtc will go down.

But if the non resident parent is earning more than he's declaring, that needs to be addressed also. More than just two people involved in this situation.

purpleshoes_2

And I also appreciate that it must be tough when you are dealing with an ex who isn't the easiest person to deal with. But if you are asking your new husband to contribute more because you are losing your working tax credits, then if your ex is earning more than he's telling you then surely that needs addressed as soon as possible, because that is also going to impact on your new families finances.

And if your ex isn't being honest about what he's earning then it is time to involve the CSA.

cazziebo

pelirocco wrote: »

I agree with you , i just dont understand all this what is mine is mine , your are a family and should work as one

And I agree, if it's mum, dad and their own birth children. When there are second and third relationships, it's more complex than this. I've just remarried after 20 years as a single parent. It seems mad to me that DH would suddenly become liable for university fees or other costs associated with my children. Like others in this thread, we have a bills account and our own separate personal accounts. Works for us.

The NRP has a responsibility to contribute to the child's upbringing. The govt has decided on a 15% of salary as the amount they'll stipulate - I would hope an NRP would pay as much as they thought they could afford with this figure being the minimum. (perhaps not always directly to the PWC but via funding holidays, school trips, new clothes etc) Some of this contribution will include an element for accommodation, heating, food, childcare etc Unless there is spousal maintenance, the NRP has no responsibility for financing the PWC's life choices.

The new partner has a responsibility to any children in so far as they are part of the new household. It's not fair on them, or on the NRP, to try to make them the new parent.

I'm not saying this is the case here, but too often parents forget they both have an everlasting responsibility to any children. That responsibility can't be replaced.

FBaby

I haven't read all the posts, but your situation seemed a bit like mine when I moved with my now husband. Although our monthly pay cheque is similar, which would support each paying everything 50/50, our outgoings are very different. In addition to his pay cheque, he gets the car, his mobile phone and an annual bonus. I have to pay for my car loan, mobile + all my children costs, which are no surprise, my highest costs, so when looked at it that way, 50/50 didn't seem fair any longer.

My OH had no qualms looking at adding both our incomes (including the CB I received but no maintenance as ex pays none) and then our outgoings and then divide what is left over as disposable income by two. This means that ultimately, he paid more towards the bills than I, but he never considered doing it any differently.

Beckyy

Why not add the maintenance to your salary, then take away the childcare costs - then split the bills based on that income. E.g. (if you = £500 after that calculation and OH - £1000, split the bills 33/66)

Essentially OH would be contributing towards DD's childcare, but unless her Dad is going to step up it's going to be extremely awkward when something pops up and you have no disposable income to pay for it, or your own money each month.

Or, count the childcare as another household bill and split it like the others.

Buzzybee90

He's marrying you, he's aware you have a daughter.. Surely that's an acknowledgment of him taking on a full time step dad role?

justme111

Seems a no brainer - if you have joint finances then you treat childcare as one more bill , ie paid from joint finances. It is not a hobby or luxury so I don't see why it should be otherwise. If you did not have joint finances than other scenarios possible but since you do why the question ?

*Diva*

If you the roles were reversed would you pay for your other halfs childcare?
Im assuming you have always worked and been managing to pay childcare at the moment?
If your other half works more and is left with £500 at the end of the month you shouldnt really have your green eye on it..maybe he wants to save it for your rainy days?
Also it is your decision to have a child all those years ago so your responsibility and you ex's

whodathunkit

krustylouise wrote: »

Sorry, I must have missed the bit where I said my OH have debt.....

Sorry, that was my interpretation of your comment

"We both don't have terribly good credit scores and I doubt very much that we'll be able to get a joint account." which isn't a million miles away.

However, my other point is even more important - you're planning to marry someone who has been leaching off his father for somea period of time, which doesn't bode well for the future.