Best wellyboot forward. Pips frugal edible garden adventures.

Pippilongstocking

^^^^^^^eek L jus what Mooomin said. ^^^^^^

Hugs love.

starnac

lucielle wrote: »

OOOH lists. First thing on my list would be motivation. Was in A&E until 3 this morning. Yawn, ruddy kids.
L

Hope all okay???

I've just caught up on the thread here. Can I add my twopeneth worth to the uni debate? My mum couldn't afford to support me when I went to uni. End of. I was lucky in the sense that we had friends/family who would often pick up BOGOF's etc to make up food parcels for me to take back when I came home. I had to work to support myself. I had no choice. My summers were a choice of going home (South Wales) and having no money, or staying in North Wales and working. I quite often chose working. Not because I wanted to but because I had to. Now NZ is a bit further away than in my situation but I still had to chose between home or money. It's not something I liked doing but life is full of choices you don't like!

I agree on a fairer parental split of the money based on financial circumstances. I also agree on offering the same support as was offered to her brother.

I do think she's got some tough choices to make but that's part of growing up. The majority of people do not get handed things for nothing.

Sorry for the big post. Can I add that my two are currently having enforced afternoon naps after being up silly early this morning then playing up most of the morning? *sigh* kids!!!! Who'd have 'em??

mooomin

My mum and dad gave me a weekly allowance when I was at uni, but I still worked all through my time there and in the summer holidays I also worked anything up to four jobs (full time 9-5 in an office, a waitressing job from 5.30-midnight a few days a week and then two shops I used to do odd days for as well!)

I wouldn't expect money and I don't think your daughter should either. Has she ever worked? I don't mean that in a rude way, but I had part-time jobs from 14 or so and always had a clue about the value of money. Sadly going to uni meant I also learned about credit, but that's a story for another day

DawnW

Totally agree with other posters on uni contribution. Your plans sound fair and sensible, and as you say, thank goodness you don't live here in England :eek: Luckily mine all went before the fees went up to such a ridiculous level. And I only paid their fees, they decided to go to local institutions so they could live at home (for free), but they had to work for their personal money. We couldn't afford to support them to live away from home, and they decided they didn't want to take out loans in order to do so. They all did fine.

You have no need to feel guilty. Apart from everything else, how would this much larger contribution be fair to her brother if he receives only half what DD gets, and has to work. Not that working does them any harm - until recently I was in a job that involved recruiting / managing new graduates, and the difference between those who had worked through uni and those who hadn't was mind boggling :eek:

Let us just say that one group knew about timekeeping, knowing when to follow/ ask for instructions and when to use their initiative, working in teams, what constitutes a reasonable day's work, how to dress and behave when in and out of the office (for work, obvs, up to them what they do outside of work) and the other group, invariably, however charming and lovely their manners etc, did not, and had a very steep learning curve! And this was in a supportive and quite lenient organisation. Heaven help those in more cut throat contexts :eek:

little_sweetie

I wholeheartedly agree with the other posters re DD's demand for money. I would give her what you gave your son and let her work for anything else. It sounds harsh but it's reality, Pips. Just a thought...who pays her airfare to NZ? It must cost an amazing amount of money in itself. Does she realise how lucky she is? My son lives in Oz and I have never been able to afford to go....just saying....:) When my son was 14 he started work collecting trolleys in a supermarket for £10 on a Saturday and worked full time whilst studying for his BSc. When DD was 14 she did an Av*n round (no Uni she didn't want to) and started work in an office at 16. She's studying Accountancy through work (soon to be redundant) Yikes....I must shut up now No feelings of guilt deserved, Pips.

BTW, Pippi, how is the hospitalised chook doing? Is she making faces at the others through the wire fence :rotfl:

Greying_Pilgrim

Oi Pips you seem who your *lil' sis* has been hanging out with?

Hope you've had a grand day.

Greying

lucielle

Thanks for the posts. DS1 aka the twit is fine. Me still knackered.
L

Pippilongstocking

Oh chaps you've all been great and I really appreciate your comments.

Its quite interesting hearing all your comments. And I really appreciate the time you've taken.

I'm sticking my ground and have such detailed notes (spreadsheet ) of my son's contributions and so I'm feeling quite resolute, caring and kind but firm. I think learning the value of money is a core life skill (says me, the disaster of finances).

I know she'll come good its just this part of the path to steer her through which is hard as there aren't similar rules in other parental quarters so its rocks and hard places. I'm sure she'll adjust and we'll be here to steer her if she's willing.

I was quite norty and suggested that if she wanted to save money she could stay here and commute.

Cue white sheeted daughter.............I think she's looking at her budget again.

mooomin

Where is she thinking of studying? Commuting would be a good option if she's going to be in Edinburgh.

Pippilongstocking

Aye and I can see why she'd rather be in halls for first year and do the whole 'experience' but that comes at a hefty price.

morning