Is he moving too fast?

susieq87

I recently started seeing this guy about 3 weeks ago and we have been on two dates; one last Friday and the most recent on Wednesday. We met in the gym so we see each other about 4 times a week as we train together. Lately he has been calling me ‘baby’, ‘my love’ all these pet names; on Wednesday he kept trying to hold my hand and I would move it away slyly by fixing my hair, getting something out of my bag, anything! He also received a phone call from his friend where he answered he was with his wife. I don’t know if he was joking, I certainly hope he was and I just looked at him and said “no, you’re not” but I don’t think he took notice of it. I feel awkward because it has only been 3 weeks. When I met him he said he was looking for someone to settle down witha nd I feel like if that’s the case how could he move so fast without actually getting to know me properly? I like him fine and can potentially see myself in a relationship with him but I feel like he’s moving too fast.

I was in a long term relationship before this so I don’t know if this is the norm anymore and I also have intimacy issues so it takes me a while to get close to people. It took me 6 months to kiss my ex and another 3 to be intimate!

whodathunkit

I don't think that wanting to hold someone's hand on a second date is moving too fast!

VestanPance

Unless the guy is completely mental I'd guess referring to you as "the wife" was a joke/banter. The "baby/my love" is just cheesy at that point, but I would guess that's his personality. Holding hands I wouldn't say is unusual but it seems to be one of those things some folk are very comfortable with, while others really aren't.

aileth

Maybe he actually has a wife and was lying to his friend to cover his a**?

dogcat_2

aileth wrote: »

Maybe he actually has a wife and was lying to his friend to cover his a**?

Yes... I thought this too.....:cool:

KatieDee

It depends...personally I think he sounds a bit creepy but that's just because I hate the term "baby" and it makes me cringe!

Perhaps just wait and see how things go. If it does start to move to fast, I'm sure you'll realise before they go too far. Just make sure you tell him if you're feeling uncomfortable, as he may not realise!

susieq87

aileth wrote: »

Maybe he actually has a wife and was lying to his friend to cover his a**?

this did cross my mind but when we went out the first time he invited me into his house while he dropped his food off but i declined and waited outside. surely if he had a wife he wouldnt invite me in when we hadnt planned on me going there

PasturesNew

Overall, it doesn't stack up "right" does it ...... too fast, too creepy, probably does have a wife. A serial sleaze ball potential-ometer would be banging close to a score of 10/10.

whodathunkit

PasturesNew wrote: »

Overall, it doesn't stack up "right" does it ...... too fast, too creepy, probably does have a wife. A serial sleaze ball potential-ometer would be banging close to a score of 10/10.

Not my reading of it at all - I'm afraid it's the OP's attitude that I find weird.

Errata

I feel awkward because it has only been 3 weeks. When I met him he said he was looking for someone to settle down with

That's a bizarre thing to say to someone at the start of dating them.

purpleshoes_2

whodathunkit wrote: »

Not my reading of it at all - I'm afraid it's the OP's attitude that I find weird.

Not my reading of it either, he could have been making a joke and saying, Im with the wife.

If he's too full on, talk to him.