Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, I think it's lovely MU. You are both clearly so close, makes me go all soppy!

jobbingmusician

Lovely that you had such a good weekend together, though!

One thing I wondered, which might be too nosy - ignore it if it is. Why would he come to live with you, rather than you going to him? (Hoping very much one or the other might come to pass, if it feels right )

System

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Lovely that you had such a good weekend together, though!

One thing I wondered, which might be too nosy - ignore it if it is. Why would he come to live with you, rather than you going to him? (Hoping very much one or the other might come to pass, if it feels right )

Well people had been assuming that because his contract at work is up at the end of march so he's looking for a new job (and the first day we met he told me he could imagine living with me :eek: ) so it would be easier for him to get a new job etc. TBH i would happily move up there, though there are..."issues" with his family/ex so i'm not welcome there atm

Waves_and_Smiles

Argh help! I am being unreasonable, someone slap me.

BIL is being sent to the hospital because he has a reflux and throat problem (this doesn't surprise me as he is constantly drinking alcohol). He has decided that he is unwell and can't be with Milliefleur during the day next week. This means WaSp will need to be there from 10am until around 6pm, her carer arrives at 8pm to check on her before bed (so it is fine for her to be alone for that time). This isn't what we agreed with my social worker!

I KNOW he has to be there and she cannot be alone, she is scared of being left and gets very lonely. It isn't so much that Milliefleur can't be alone but that she gets scared by herself and panics, she does have carers and food deliveries throughout the day but it isn't the same as family who can reassure her. I am panicking because sometime in the next two weeks the windows will be replaced and the fire alarms tested and it means I will be alone for people to enter the flat. I am terrified! Please tell me to stop being so selfish, I honestly do feel like a waste of space right now. Poor WaSp is saying what is he supposed to do?

mellymoo74

Now remember you are brave look at you going to see father christmas meeting raindeer and going to a petting zoo.
You can absolutely take yourself to another room while nice people put new windows in.

Waves_and_Smiles

Good point, melly! I can hide in another room while they expose my flat to the outside world! I am just being selfish because it has been 5 weeks since we worked out my care plan and it is broken already, I am not supposed to be alone for more than 4 hours at a time. I will cope with it because I am used to WaSp being away overnight but we won't be telling my social worker about this. I have also got used to WaSp being here and now it will be harder for him to be away for 10 hours every day, particularly with flat alterations happening.

mellymoo74

The room your in wont be exposed so still safe. And not selfish worried this is ok selfish is not.

I have taken the battery out of the scales I am not allowed them until I have eaten properly.

Vivofit has lowered my step target based on what I am eating.

codemonkey

WaS, you're not selfish. Its not selfish to worry about how you're going to cope with a situation that causes you some stress. Your care plan is just as important as millefleur's. IMO the selfish one is BIL, but there's not much that can be done about that. Can ss not offer some solution so WASP can be with you on the scary days.

Waves_and_Smiles

Good idea, melly! It really is better that you don't weigh yourself right now. I always avoid it when my ED is bad, whether my weight is up or down it isn't something that I need to see.

What we have discovered with Milliefleur is that although the carers help our state of mind, they don't help hers. She still wants people around so that she can be reassured that her stomach ache is due to her Colitis and nothing worse, and just so that she has someone to chat with when she feels alone. Most of the time she just wants someone to join in with her watching her quiz shows. She is very dependant on BIL being there during the day just for company, when he isn't she phones us a lot just for someone to talk to. Although the current situation is better it won't work long term, she needs far more company than she has which is understandable because she has always been incredibly sociable. She finds it very hard to be alone. Up until 5 years ago she had her boyfriend who kept her company but he sadly died, she has never really lived alone.

I totally understand why WaSp has to be with her next week and feel horrid for thinking about myself.

System

I know it will be hard WaS but as melly (well done on taking out the battery, good luck with eating ans stick with it hun)says you can always hide in other rooms when people are there, and as for being alone for 10 hours, don;t forget you have us here, we're always here for you. I'll probably be working late shifts but that means i'll be around before work and after, and i'm sure the others will be around at various times too. I know its not the same as us being there (if i was i'd give you a big hug ) but i hope you can take some comfort in knowing that at least here, you won;t be alone.