Just needed to be heard for a little while

System

I think have hoarding tendancies, my problem is letting it build up to the point i get overwhelmed with it. When i moved out of my last flat, i had to hire someone to get rid of about 30(!) bags of rubbish and stuff i was throwing out

Just now i've cleaned my room ahead of Beau coming down friday and there were 4 black bin bags full of crap to throw out I do feel a bit better now i can actually see my floor though. I just seem to accumulate stuff. In the cellar there are about 3 suitcases of clothes i can;t face throwing out even though half of them don't fit me anymore. And don;t even get me started on whatever the hell is actually under my bed...i daren't look :eek:

Waves_and_Smiles

I think you are likely very right about the women with the granddaughter needing to fill the space, SDW. Last night I went to bed in a very clean room and laid awake for 4 hours in a state of panic. I felt incredibly exposed by all of the space, the fact I could see a whole window and the wall below felt very scary. I will leave things as they are and I will get used to it but for the next week or so I will feel very vulnerable in that room. I am sorry to hear about what your friend went through, I can completely understand why it has scarred her so much.

Well done on the tidying, MU! When I moved I had to hire a skip, it was that bad. I have often got myself into a position where I am so overwhelmed by so much stuff that I don't know where I start, so I sit there paralysed in horror at the sheer enormity of the task.

Pyxis

Well, WaS, if you've come through all that and then you've still managed to sort through your Underbed Doom, I think you've done wonderfully well and I take my hat off to you!

You'll laugh at this..... When something really has no further use inside, but still has an intrinsic use, it goes into the garden!

I have a bog garden with ladle, and a tree peony with toasting fork!
They're my art installations.

Well, THAT'S WHAT I TELL MYSELF, OK?




Edit. The ukelele lesson was fun. I can now play a sequence of 4chords which means I can play the accompaniment to 5 songs!
Twang twanga twanga twanga......

System

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I think you are likely very right about the women with the granddaughter needing to fill the space, SDW. Last night I went to bed in a very clean room and laid awake for 4 hours in a state of panic. I felt incredibly exposed by all of the space, the fact I could see a whole window and the wall below felt very scary. I will leave things as they are and I will get used to it but for the next week or so I will feel very vulnerable in that room. I am sorry to hear about what your friend went through, I can completely understand why it has scarred her so much.

Well done on the tidying, MU! When I moved I had to hire a skip, it was that bad. I have often got myself into a position where I am so overwhelmed by so much stuff that I don't know where I start, so I sit there paralysed in horror at the sheer enormity of the task.

That's generally how i feel about it too

Its part of why i hated moving house pretty much every year as it meant i had to face it all whether i wanted to or not. Its always stressed me out. That said i felt quite proud when i moved from the bedsit to here, i packed and cleaned it all by myself and arranged a van for moving it all. When i moved out of the flat before the bedsit i was panicking cos if the state of the place and my parents had to help me clean it, which we were still doing at midnght. After that i vowed never for it to get so bad i needed their help again. I was so ashamed of it when they were cleaning, it wasn't a nice feeling. I felt bad they they were seeing the squalor i let myself live in.

I have to say since moving here i have been better with it. One thing i was always terrible with was washing up. I remember a few times just collapsing in tears in a heap on the kitchen floor cos i;d let it build up and i couldn't face doing it Now i always make sure i wash u straight away so it doesn't build up, and the communal areas are kept clean by my landlords wife who cleans every week for us. My room does get quite messy but when i have company that usually spurs me on to clean it.

Waves_and_Smiles

It is modern art, Pyxis! The Tate would pay a fortune for that!

I do have a small carrier bag of things that do not have a home from the giant bedroom clear out and I am hanging onto it! I like the random messiness of it and the fact that when I hold it, it has all strange lumps and bumps of weird objects within it. I am allowing myself the one Carrier Bag of Chaos, I figure if I have managed a whole room I deserve a little bag for comfort.

I do exactly the same with washing up, MU. The second I finish eating I wash the dishes and pans, if I leave it any longer I won't do it. During my really bad hoarding phase I had a sink blocked, full of dishes and covered with black mould. I simply couldn't deal with it so ended up covering it in a bin bag and pretending it wasn't there. I ate off paper plates and rinsed out pans in the bath which was full of cat faeces. How I didn't get food poisoning I'll never know, I was very, very mentally ill at the time. I still know that if I don't wash dishes straight after dinner that I will struggle, it is like once an item has been in a place for a while it becomes almost impossible to move it? I have to deal with things immediately before I get used to them being there.

Pyxis

One Carrierbag of Chaos sound like the epitome of restraint, WaS! I'm sure you can allow yourself that!

heartbreak star, I apologise if I appeared to be criticising you...I wasn't of course, but I've just realised that I get upset about other people getting rid of these sentimental items, which is daft as it's their stuff and their choice. Like on Flog It, when people are selling their war hero grandfather's medals, or their own childhood teddy, I get really upset, and say how could they? I think it's because I don't have a lot of happy memories, so things are a sort of replacement or perhaps a compensation for the lack of happy memories, and as WaS says, a sort of security blanket.


Haha! WaS! I also have a Spring bush. That's a bush with several metal springs hanging on it! I like the spirality (?) of springs! :rotfl:

(There's no hope is there! :rotfl:)

System

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

It is modern art, Pyxis! The Tate would pay a fortune for that!

I do have a small carrier bag of things that do not have a home from the giant bedroom clear out and I am hanging onto it! I like the random messiness of it and the fact that when I hold it, it has all strange lumps and bumps of weird objects within it. I am allowing myself the one Carrier Bag of Chaos, I figure if I have managed a whole room I deserve a little bag for comfort.

I do exactly the same with washing up, MU. The second I finish eating I wash the dishes and pans, if I leave it any longer I won't do it. During my really bad hoarding phase I had a sink blocked, full of dishes and covered with black mould. I simply couldn't deal with it so ended up covering it in a bin bag and pretending it wasn't there. I ate off paper plates and rinsed out pans in the bath which was full of cat faeces. How I didn't get food poisoning I'll never know, I was very, very mentally ill at the time. I still know that if I don't wash dishes straight after dinner that I will struggle, it is like once an item has been in a place for a while it becomes almost impossible to move it? I have to deal with things immediately before I get used to them being there.

The worst i had was a pan full of meat that ended up going off and still i ignored it anded up throwing it out rather than try and wash it up and yes there was mould too. I also resorted to using paper plates. It cause a lot of arguments with my ex cos he couldn't understand how i could let it get so bad. Thats why i try and do it straight away instead of leave it cos i know if i leave it, it will build up and get worse.

Waves_and_Smiles

I love springs! I can sit and wind my finger around them for ages. On the same point as a child I used to constantly make Mobius Strips. I read about them in a sci-fi story when I was around 8 and became fascinated. I would make them in many colours and sit turning them and watching the continual line for hours. Have I mentioned I was weird?

I am exactly the same, MU but was a lot more disgustingly worse. I had rotten meat, cat faeces, mold, you name it in my flat. Hence Environmental Health quickly declared it an no-go zone and moved me into a hotel on the same day. Two days after that I agreed to spend some time in hospital while they cleaned everything up which I really did need at that point!

lostinrates

Today has been grim. My GP is now being difficult about the referral saying I cannot go the the hospital the endocrinologist wants because its out of area. Fir suggested that the surgery put this in a letter because this is not how NHs referrals are meant to work.

Then I have phone problems and it looks as if I'm going to be without a mobile for ten days / two weeks, which essentially means much more limited contact with fir weekdays.

Then finally a bill needs paying and the person only takes cheques. Who only takes cheques these days, not bank transfers? I haven't got a clue where a personal cheque book is even.

seven-day-weekend

Pyxis wrote: »

One Carrierbag of Chaos sound like the epitome of restraint, WaS! I'm sure you can allow yourself that!

heartbreak star, I apologise if I appeared to be criticising you...I wasn't of course, but I've just realised that I get upset about other people getting rid of these sentimental items, which is daft as it's their stuff and their choice. Like on Flog It, when people are selling their war hero grandfather's medals, or their own childhood teddy, I get really upset, and say how could they? I think it's because I don't have a lot of happy memories, so things are a sort of replacement or perhaps a compensation for the lack of happy memories, and as WaS says, a sort of security blanket.


Haha! WaS! I also have a Spring bush. That's a bush with several metal springs hanging on it! I like the spirality (?) of springs! :rotfl:

(There's no hope is there! :rotfl:)

It was years before I told my sister that I'd sold our mum's Royal Albert teaset that she had collected over the years (it was mine to sell), because it would have upset her.

The thing is, I would never have used the teaset, not even on display, I didn't like it, it just seemed like a waste to keep it when someone else could enjoy it. I can have memories of my mum without keeping her teaset in storage. It would just have languished in the cellar for decades. I sold it on EBay to an American.