Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

You can get married at home according to this site (adding this in for any agoraphobic thread friends for info - not ignoring your comments, WaS)

http://www.civilceremonies.co.uk/ceremonies/wedding-celebration-ceremony/faqs1

whitewing

Partner- Would it be easier if we got married?
Me- Doesn't make any difference
Partner- Ok let me know if it would
Me- No problem

I would have interpreted it that he may be interested...

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahaha dibuzz, you can have it back! I used to get really bad back ache when I was slimmer just trying to support the things. They go around corners before I do...

I never knew that you could get married at home! Now, there is a thought. Perhaps I should have a rethink!

whitewing

I didn't know you could either. I think it is more common in America so perhaps we have copied the idea.

Pyxis

There's also a Humanist wedding, which you could have without the civil binding bit. So you could express the commitment, but it wouldn't be legally binding, (unless you choose that option!)






P.s. Sounds like you've got my share as well! Grr!

jobbingmusician

Ummm.... sorry to tell you, I'm not sure you CAN get married at home. Or at least, not without spending loads of money to get your home recognised as somewhere where marriages can be held. Sorry whitewing , but the site you discovered does celebrations, and hidden there is this

'we are unable to say or do anything which may mislead the guests into thinking that the Wedding Celebration Ceremony is in any way part of a legal formality of marriage, because these ceremonies do not have legal status.'

Which might be what you want! But if you want a legal status, this isn't it, very sadly.

When we got married, we couldn't set a date as DH was waiting for his (very amicable) divorce (his first wife's brother came to our wedding, that's how amicable it was!) We had a wonderful day at a very special place which is an old farmhouse and courtyard owned by a friend, and this was our 'real' marriage, which meant far more to us than the legal marriage. (Although THAT was a lot nicer than we expected, and they loved us in fact, because they were running late, and of course we didn't care as we simply had 2 witnesses and didn't have a big reception to angst about on that day). Our 'big day' ended up being 6 days before the actual wedding

Anyway, back to mental health stuff. It's funny, I was giving a presentation with my counselling manager yesterday, and she talked a lot about giving people the space to grieve, so that they could manage the rest of their life better. That's the space you've never had, WaS, so I suspect you don't know the difference between grief and guilt. You can feel really sad for your friend, but IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT that she is suffering (and I'm sure it will be helping her to talk to you).

elsien

whitewing wrote: »

. Never expect, assume, or demand. Just do your best, control the elements you can control, and then let it be.

I like this bit. I've always been bit of a control freak, and due to various circumstances of late, it was either learn to let go or go into a bit of stressed downward spiral. I think I might make this my new mantra.

haybel19

elsien wrote: »

I like this bit. I've always been bit of a control freak, and due to various circumstances of late, it was either learn to let go or go into a bit of stressed downward spiral. I think I might make this my new mantra.

That's the bit I especially like- I am definitely going to try and live by it.

whitewing

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/wales/relationships_w/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_e/getting_married.htm

A marriage can take place in:-

a Register Office
premises approved by the local authority such as a hotel
a church of the Church of England, Church in Wales, Church of Ireland, Presbyterian or Roman Catholic Church in N. Ireland (opposite sex couples only)
a synagogue or any other private place if both partners are Jewish
a Meeting House if one or both partners are either members of the Society of Friends (Quakers) or are associated with the Society by attending meetings
any registered religious building (England and Wales only)
the home of one of the partners if the partner is housebound or detained, for example, in prison
a place where one partner is seriously ill and not expected to recover, for example, in hospital
a licensed naval, military or air force chapel.

Maybe?

ETA: I am laughing away to myself at the thought of a home wedding with the witnesses of a GP clutching a speculum and an optician with his chart!

lostinrates

elsien wrote: »

I like this bit. I've always been bit of a control freak, and due to various circumstances of late, it was either learn to let go or go into a bit of stressed downward spiral. I think I might make this my new mantra.

Do you think that's why you are drawn to dogs that you cannot get too control freak over? I certainly think if I had something like a gun dog or some of the utilities it would be negative for me and the dogs.

As it is having the dogs I have has been both a challenge but KNOWING their appitude from the outset provided automatic release valve on the process and humour. When things didn't go right there was no 'fault' it was just 'shrug, well. We're punching above our weight anyway' not many people have a working greyhound who heards, points, has recall, will chase a rabbit when asked, but can be called of a cat with no difficulty. But, I reckon I would have had a neurotic gun dog because I'd have wanted too much.

My terrier otoh. Sheesh. To my great embarrassment his recall isn't that bad but he's decided not to return to come or qui ( we're a multi lingual house hold) but to 'oi!' suggesting things aren't that patient here after all, nor that delicate!