Just needed to be heard for a little while

Pyxis

whitewing wrote: »

This is gorgeous:




http://www.handpickedcollection.com/cyril-sloth.html

One for the Slothery!

Waves_and_Smiles

Morning all! Health and Safety man is due in two hours to check the windows and fire doors for the new landlord. The fact I have a draft excluder by the front door should be a hint about the worthiness of the fire doors! We need to tidy up so we are both being very productive and have just poured a coffee each, put our feet up and are now surfing the internet. Oh dear...

8.20- We both made a concerted effort... to get a blanket each and snuggle back down. Kicks up the bum are appreciated!

whitewing

*Wimpish kick up the bum from me* I have a very messy house and loads to do but would rather sit here letting time drift away...

tea_lover

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Does anyone else over-compensate terribly when they are suffering or is it just me?

Yes! After my m/c I refused to take time off work and was being v 'jolly' - refusing to accept sympathy, refusing to talk about things (or think about things, if I'm honest).

Sometimes when I'm in awful endo pain I'll be covered in heat packs, drugged up to the eyeballs but won't say anything to anyone.

Part of me feels almost that if I let anyone else acknowledge how bad things are it just confirms it and makes it worse (which I realise makes no actual sense).

I haven't spoken to my parents yet about possible end of relationship but I do know how the conversations will go - they'll be concerned and sympathetic and I'll be OTT jolly and joking about it all and incredibly uncomfortable about any emotion.

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you for the kick, whitewing, it worked! The Health and Safety man spent precisely 30 seconds in here so we didn't need to panic as much as we did. Oh well, tidy flat now and he wasn't here long enough for me to be traumatised. The letting agent had a look at the flat upstairs and he believes the mushrooms are possibly due to a slow leak through their floor. Nothing can be done until the handover on the 28th but he will book a plumber then.

I know just how you feel, tea that is me all over. No matter how bad things get I just seem to get more and more happy in appearance and then lock myself away, cry and rock quietly in the corner when I am alone. I am very lucky it hasn't caused me problems with benefit reviews in the past, fortunately I saw some good doctors who saw through it. My psychiatrist is about the only person other than WaSp that I can drop it with, other consultants get me laughing and joking all the way through appointments no matter what the news is. I simply can't help it, it is an automatic response.

lostinrates

whitewing wrote: »

*Wimpish kick up the bum from me* I have a very messy house and loads to do but would rather sit here letting time drift away...

Do five/ ten minutes then take five minutes off. Its very effective.

If you feel more active do fifteen minutes and take five minutes off. Less active? Put the tv on, get up and do stuff each and every advert break.

My cleaners start on Wednesday morning so I'm de junking to areas that get overlooked. I'm good at monitoring two sofas...one has been overlooked, its been debunked under the cushions this morning. I've cleared the bag I popped neatly in the corner of the room at the end of last winter.

I want to jobs like this today and tomorrow, so that the up
Use is ready for them and then on Wednesday I can get on with other stuff ( rooms they aren't going to touch, or dog grooming for example) while they are here.

Waves_and_Smiles

Be careful that you don't tire yourself out too much, LIR. I have cleaned each time the kettle boiled before now, it surprising how much you can get done in 3 minutes when you know that you can sit down afterwards.

I relate to your bag popped in the corner of the room last winter. The letting agent commented that I was putting up decorations already as he admired my white fairy lights. They haven't actually made it down from last year...

tea_lover

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

My psychiatrist is about the only person other than WaSp that I can drop it with, other consultants get me laughing and joking all the way through appointments no matter what the news is. I simply can't help it, it is an automatic response.

Totally! I go into consultant appointments determined to get across to them how bad things have been etc. and usually spend the time downplaying everything instead. I once had surgery cancelled on the day - the consultant did their ward rounds as I was being prepped and asked how the pain was. I ended up saying it wasn't too bad and the latest medication had helped (it hadn't, at all). He decided to keep trying with the medication instead of the surgery and sent me home!

Waves_and_Smiles

Ugh, I know just how that goes, tea. I ended up taking a letter for my consultant because I was in so much pain but as soon as I got in there and he asked how I was I would immediately say "Not too bad!" which was a total lie. In the end I wrote down a typical day and as soon as he asked how I was passed him the paper and shut up! I think in some weird way I feel like I am letting them down if I say that I feel worse? As if I am questioning their skills and not trying hard enough to be better? This is backed up by the fact that if I tell my psychiatrist I have had a bad time I immediately apologise to him as if I have done something wrong.

tea_lover

I think you've hit the nail on the head with the 'letting them down' comment. I feel like that about everything, similar to how I feel guilty all the time.

Anonymous online forums are probably the one place I'm even remotely honest about how I feel (physically or mentally).... which is probably why 90% of my posts (esp. on the TTC threads) were such a massive whinge. IRL I'd never dream of admitting I was struggling with anything - the facade is so much a part of me now that I wouldn't know to do things any differently. No matter how bad things are I'll always answer the question "how are you" with an overly-cheery "fine thanks".

I am rambling again... I will stop!