Just needed to be heard for a little while

seven-day-weekend

BarryBlue wrote: »

I'm not really sure what you mean by Islam-free zone. Surely nowhere is designated as that. Your signature says you are Christian but it also doesn't appear to be tolerant of other religions. What's your reasoning here?

I don't think a discussion on religion is appropriate on this thread. I will pm you.

BarryBlue

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I don't think a discussion on religion is appropriate on this thread. I will pm you.

I wasn't suggesting a theological tangent. I am just intrigued as to what an Islam-free zone is and whether they exist in the UK.

seven-day-weekend

BarryBlue wrote: »

I wasn't suggesting a theological tangent. I am just intrigued as to what an Islam-free zone is and whether they exist in the UK.

I have pm'd you. Please do not discuss religion on this thread as some people find it distressing. Thanks.

Pyxis

Errata wrote: »

I would be exactly the same as him,[/QUOTE
Me too, and I'm sure many others would feel exactly the same, it's perfectly normal to think of all the 'what ifs'. That's how we safely cross roads.

I once saw a programme on television about survival. It gave some very useful tips like, where possible, get a hotel room below a certain floor number ( eek! can't remember which floor! 8th? 6th), the reason being that in the event of a fire, the firemen's ladders can't go higher than that floor. Remember, the programme wasn't called 'Being paranoid', it was called Survival!

Anyway, another point that the programme was making was this: people who see the glass as half-empty are not so much pessimists as realists. They are not the profligate town mouse, but the far-seeing country-mouse. They are not the wet blanket at the party, they are the people who will survive, because they anticipate the future, they 'experience' that future, by worrying about it, so if that worse-case scenario occurs, they have already 'practised' it in their minds and so are much better prepared than the perpetual optimists who refuse to contemplate the negative.

That programme made me feel a whole lot better about some of my mindset!

Interested, I put it to the test. One of the things the programme advised was this: the very first thing you do when entering your hotel room for the first time is put down your suitcase and, if the need is urgent, go to the loo. (Actually, that's my bit of first advice!) my second advice and their first advice is to study the floor plan on the door, work out where you are, and where the fire exit is, and then (taking your room key with you, [my piece of advice!]) walk the route to the fire exit, noting any wall corners, furniture, etc. the reasoning being that in the dark and smoke, with bells ringing and feeling frightened, you are not going to remember the route just from seeing it on the plan; you need to physically walk it. It only ever takes me two or three minutes to do. I'm not worrying when I do it, I'm not feeling anxious or frightened. It's a neutral 'duty' I do, that I know might save my life, which cheers me up!

I'll get to the point now! I've mentioned to two or three people that I do this. All of them were horrified! One said, she couldn't be bothered. One said, she wasn't afraid that the hotel would catch fire, so didn't see the need. (!) Another actually accused me of having a bad attitude and asked whether it spoilt my holiday, to think of things like that. Well, it actually made me enjoy my holiday more, knowing that I was equipped to survive such an incident. I certainly didn't spend my holiday dwelling on it!

So, worriers of the world, or as we now call ourselves, warriors of the world!, we are the survivors!

seven-day-weekend

Pyxis, I wish I could thank you more than once! That post is wonderful!

Funnily enough, I'm the one who checks Fire Escapes and such like and I always go to where they are to see how long it takes, just as you say.. I'm the one who insists on a smoke alarm in our Summerhouse (in case we fall asleep in there). Good point about the sixth floor - I'll remember that.

My husband always says you're better off with a pessimist though as they forsee and live through all the what ifs.

Briliiant insightful post, thanks again

Waves_and_Smiles

I love that, Pyxis! I am the first to admit that my worrying gets out of hand but I do like to be sure of all eventualities that might occur and it makes me feel safer to do so. Here's a funny one -whenever using hotel or public bathrooms I always move the lock in and out of the fitting several times before locking the door to make sure it works smoothly. I have a fear of being locked in the toilet!

Pyxis

WaS, that's a wise thing to do! And don't forget to check if there's loo paper before you get going!

Waves_and_Smiles

Loo paper is also important! I always used to check for where the fire exit was in places like cinema's and the theatres, too. It doesn't take 2 seconds but is a really useful thing to know in crowded enclosed places just in case.

seven-day-weekend

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Loo paper is also important! I always used to check for where the fire exit was in places like cinema's and the theatres, too. It doesn't take 2 seconds but is a really useful thing to know in crowded enclosed places just in case.

I do that too. And in my house I always put the window key in the lock before I go to bed, so that I'm not stuck with a locked window. It opens onto a flat roof so is a good fire escape.

Pyxis

Yes, as a spin-off from that, that's what I do too. Takes, what, two or three seconds? No effort for something that could be a lifesaver!


Do you know, that Clara's speech has so helped me to look at my fears in different light.
Rather than cowering under the burden of them, I now straighten up and see them out of the corner of my eye as a blanket-covered figure ( not you, WaS! not you! It's a different blanket!) that accompanies me, not menacingly at all, just existing there, a sllent 'companion'. (See it can't be you; you wouldn't be so silent! ) And then I imagine many other people, each with their silent, amorphous figure just slightly behind them, and I don't feel alone.

I realised some time ago I will never be permanently free from fear, so seeing it as neutral symbiote, rather than as a destructive agent, is really helpful.

It is similar I suppose, to the 'flipping the coin' of NLP; not attempting to eradicate the damaging thoughts but to flip them and see the other side of them.