Just needed to be heard for a little while

seven-day-weekend

Thank you all once again for your words of encouragement. I will mention the above course to him when the time is right.

ETA : I've e-mailed it to him so that he has the link himself. Just said it was recommended on the forum for someone suffering from anxiety. Thanks Errata.

Errata

I would be exactly the same as him,[/QUOTE
Me too, and I'm sure many others would feel exactly the same, it's perfectly normal to think of all the 'what ifs'. That's how we safely cross roads.

whitewing

Point out to him that she already has work experience through her full time job and she will be extra-employable having expanded her experience of life at uni.

She is an adult so he doesn't need to subsidise them anyway in the future.

Some of the traits of Asperger's are very useful for interesting jobs, and as they have diagnosis they can work within their own strengths and weaknesses, as does anyone else. It may get frustrating at times but they may surprise you all with their future. Being content and having a strong work ethic is the most important thing.

Waves_and_Smiles

Errata, I love what you just said! I am holding onto that quote for when I am berating myself for panicking. Of course it isn't good to worry unnecessarily but it is normal to think of what if's. I forget that sometimes and tell myself off when I shouldn't do. I struggle between making everything a catastrophe and then getting angry at myself for being cautious when it is actually justified. Thank you!

seven-day-weekend

whitewing wrote: »

Point out to him that she already has work experience through her full time job and she will be extra-employable having expanded her experience of life at uni.

She is an adult so he doesn't need to subsidise them anyway in the future.

Some of the traits of Asperger's are very useful for interesting jobs, and as they have diagnosis they can work within their own strengths and weaknesses, as does anyone else. It may get frustrating at times but they may surprise you all with their future. Being content and having a strong work ethic is the most important thing.

I totally agree with you. I have every faith that she will be able to get a job, a better one than a kitchen assistant. I have even said that if she can't, then we can help her build up her own cleaning round (she was a cleaner before she was a kitchen assistant).

He just sees that, if she can't get a job then they will not be able to pay the mortgage so he will have to do it otherwise their flat will be repossessed and that will mean that we won't be able to buy the retirement place that we want, and we won't be able to move to an Islam-free zone, and our lives will be ruined and all our savings will go and we'll all be destitute etc, etc....

I wish I could make him feel better, it must be awful to always see disaster around the next corner.

Errata

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Thank you all once again for your words of encouragement. I will mention the above course to him when the time is right.

ETA : I've e-mailed it to him so that he has the link himself. Just said it was recommended on the forum for someone suffering from anxiety. Thanks Errata.

You're very welcome, although truth be told I'm so laid back about everything I'm practically upside down. Even the oncologist relaxes when I stroll into their consulting room

whitewing

If she is clever enough to get to uni, she is clever enough to deal with her own finances. (Not strictly true, if I am anything to go by). It is not his responsibility to pay their mortgage at any point.

Good that he cares enough to worry though.

Waves_and_Smiles

Incidentally, I saw that little fishing trip that you have embarked on, MU. Good luck, enjoy and let us know what happens!

seven-day-weekend

whitewing wrote: »

If she is clever enough to get to uni, she is clever enough to deal with her own finances. (Not strictly true, if I am anything to go by). It is not his responsibility to pay their mortgage at any point.

Good that he cares enough to worry though.

They both have Aspergers' Syndrome, which means they often need help with things that other people of their age and intellectual ability may not need.

Neither of us would stand by and watch them struggle with debt/repossession, although I know that strictly speaking it is not our responsibility. I, however, don't think it will come to that.

BarryBlue

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I totally agree with you. I have every faith that she will be able to get a job, a better one than a kitchen assistant. I have even said that if she can't, then we can help her build up her own cleaning round (she was a cleaner before she was a kitchen assistant).

He just sees that, if she can't get a job then they will not be able to pay the mortgage so he will have to do it otherwise their flat will be repossessed and that will mean that we won't be able to buy the retirement place that we want, and we won't be able to move to an Islam-free zone, and our lives will be ruined and all our savings will go and we'll all be destitute etc, etc....

I wish I could make him feel better, it must be awful to always see disaster around the next corner.

I'm not really sure what you mean by Islam-free zone. Surely nowhere is designated as that. Your signature says you are Christian but it also doesn't appear to be tolerant of other religions. What's your reasoning here?