Just needed to be heard for a little while

Pyxis

Hi, Jojobaby!

Re the fun run.......it may be too late now, but could you do it anyway? Are you registered for it already? If you went and did it, you'd be bound to get chatting and maybe be able afterwards to go for a coffee with someone?
Even if not, just being out and running would be good!

I hope it's not too late!



Edit. Does your partner have one of those little country hut things in a plot of land, that I know a lot of Dutch people have? If so, could you go there when he's away, grow veg and stuff and meet the people in the neighbouring huts? Just a thought.

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello jojo! First of all congratulations on your big move, that was a brave thing to do and you and your husband obviously love each other very much. You will make other friends, you have been given some wonderful ideas already but that doesn't mean that you aren't upset right now. I have never moved to another country but I did live in Florida for 3 months and was alone most of the time and I remember feeling a little lost and alone in a huge country, it can make you feel very small.

Do consider some of the suggestions that the lovely people here had made and you are always more than welcome to post here. I love hearing people making their future in other countries and would be very interested in all of the new things that you will no doubt discover.

Hugs or a warm handshake, we are thinking of you.

Waves_and_Smiles

Good Morning all! And ouchhhhhh! My arm and shoulder are total agony! I am typing with my left hand, even moving the fingers on my right hand hurts. Even though the problem is my neck it is my arm that suffers, there isn't anything to do but wait for the inflammation to go down, not helped by the fact that I am allergic to Ibuprofen which would have been the right medication and anyway, NSAID's are a contraindication to my thyroid medication. So I am going to sit and sulk quietly in this corner and live off of a diet of painkillers. Hmph!

Oh, dear we just had a frantic phone call from MIL. WaSp stays with her 5 nights a week and spends the weekends with me as BIL stays then. BIL cancelled this weekend and said he can't promise weekends now that he has a girlfriend. MIL was awake all night panicking at the smallest noise, she is scared to be alone. We aren't quite sure what to do. WaSp doesn't really want to spend 7 nights a week staying there because he is shattered every Friday and he likes his weekends to catch up on sleep with no driving, but if BIL is backing out he doesn't have a lot of choice. I haven't said anything but I am little upset, too. I like our weekends together and I am worried about WaSp driving for 4 hours every day without a break on little sleep. About all we can think of right now is if BIL will stay with her two days during the week instead, but it's BIL so we don't hold out much hope.

lostinrates

You know I told you I don't have a back door? One is going in today!!. It needs a window in it to be airtight and lots of door furniture( ATM it will only close from inside) but how brilliant will it be to have a DOOR!?

jobbingmusician

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Good Morning all! And ouchhhhhh! My arm and shoulder are total agony! I am typing with my left hand, even moving the fingers on my right hand hurts. Even though the problem is my neck it is my arm that suffers, there isn't anything to do but wait for the inflammation to go down, not helped by the fact that I am allergic to Ibuprofen which would have been the right medication and anyway, NSAID's are a contraindication to my thyroid medication. So I am going to sit and sulk quietly in this corner and live off of a diet of painkillers. Hmph!

Oh, dear we just had a frantic phone call from MIL. WaSp stays with her 5 nights a week and spends the weekends with me as BIL stays then. BIL cancelled this weekend and said he can't promise weekends now that he has a girlfriend. MIL was awake all night panicking at the smallest noise, she is scared to be alone. We aren't quite sure what to do. WaSp doesn't really want to spend 7 nights a week staying there because he is shattered every Friday and he likes his weekends to catch up on sleep with no driving, but if BIL is backing out he doesn't have a lot of choice. I haven't said anything but I am little upset, too. I like our weekends together and I am worried about WaSp driving for 4 hours every day without a break on little sleep. About all we can think of right now is if BIL will stay with her two days during the week instead, but it's BIL so we don't hold out much hope.

Run that past me again - and HE gets the carer's allowance???? :mad::mad::mad:

I'm away music-ing again this weekend, BTW, so won't be around much

lostinrates

WaS

Poor wasp.

How big is his mother's home. Is there any way you could all live there? Could YOU cope with that?

Pyxis

Oh WaS, you really don't need this worry.

WaSp must have a stern talk with him. As JM says, why should he get carer's allowance if he's not doing any caring?

If BIL wants weekends free, could he stay there a different couple of nights, so that WaSp has the same amount of rest?

It's so unfair, at the very least it should be split half the week each, and split the carer allowance! I do hope WaSp puts his foot down.

Pyxis

lostinrates wrote: »

You know I told you I don't have a back door? One is going in today!!. It needs a window in it to be airtight and lots of door furniture( ATM it will only close from inside) but how brilliant will it be to have a DOOR!?

So glad you're getting a door at long last! Now all you need is a drawbridge and a moat!

Waves_and_Smiles

It's a ridiculous situation. MIL won't accept help from SS and BIL is about as useful as a wet paper bag. I am thinking of offering for WaSp to stay at weekends/two days a week entirely at MIL's so that at least he doesn't have to drive. This means that I will have to do two days alone which scares the life out of me but I can't really see any other option unless BIL will do two days during the week instead. There is no way that WaSp can keep driving every day on almost no sleep, he is awake half the night with MIL and it just isn't safe without a time to catch up on his rest.

MIL is still saying she understands because BIL does so much for her so deserves a break (he does what, exactly?) and is digging her heels in with SS intervention and saying she would rather be alone which she clearly can't cope with.

Her house is very small with only one main bedroom and one box room, plus I am not sure that MIL and I could cope with each other being unwell if I lived her. She would be inclined to call an ambulance for me at every psychotic episode, she is a very anxious person. From my point of view it would feel a little like caring for my parents again which is a huge trigger for me so I am not sure that I could handle it.

I really can't see what else we can do other than me getting through 2 days a week by myself and crossing everything that nothing bad happens.

Money is sadly also a consideration here. All of my mobility element and some of the carers element of my DLA pays for WaSp's petrol to MIL, things are so tight that a couple more drives a week (plus coffee for poor WaSp so that he can keep his eyes open) could be enough to push us over into not managing. I don't begrudge the money being spent to help MIL at all but we are already living off of Value food and frantically turning everything off at the plugs, the budget is too tight to squeeze anymore.

Lovely. Now WaSp has MIL crying down the phone saying that she knows she is old and is a burden to everyone and we should just forget about her. BIL, on the other hand is nowhere to be found and his phone is turned off...

DUKE

dibuzz wrote: »

That's one I can't watch, can't understand a word they say half the time

Are you very posh then dibuzz? Aaaah a northerner, if only I'd continued to read.

I find I have great difficulty distinguishing accents these days

Husband's Mom was a Londoner

WaS I was just thinking about how they treat you at A&E. When a Social Worker first came out to see Harry she treated him like he was deaf. Then when I went with him to the bank she treated him like he was deaf & daft :-O He said that he could understand them & that they didn't need to shout or keep repeating themselves.