Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

Big hello to geminilady and special well done to Whitewing for making it through yesterday! OH and welcome to Sir Pugliet (still laughing).

Today was traumatic but ultimately ok, I think that I have the best psychiatrist in the world. I couldn't get out of the car! After much crying and panic I told WaSp to go to reception and cancel my appointment because there was no way I could get to the department. WaSp reappeared 10 minutes later with my psychiatrist who opened the car door and offered me his arm and then personally escorted me to his office. He took me through A&E which involved him inputting numbers into key coded doors and was a much more peaceful route than through the main entrance. I thought that it was such a kind thing to do.

The appointment went well. I asked him about the Bipolar questions and he said Bipolar was always questionable for the past 10 years, no one ever told me that! He thinks it might be why the psychotic episodes still occur so frequently because we aren't treating that but he also believes as I do that he doesn't want to change my medication unless really necessary as we have something that generally works and he thinks that I am doing very well for the complexity of mental health issues. I asked him to list what I actually had been diagnosed with and noted it, from the list we have-

Paranoid Schizophrenia
Catatonic Schizophrenia
Borderline Personality Disorder
Multiple Personality disorder
Phobic disorder
Chronic Anxiety disorder
Obsessive compulsive disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder
Chronic Clinical Depression
Psychotic Depression
Possible Bipolar disorder
Possible Schizo-affective disorder

That's the lot. He then told me to try to ignore labels other than being very proud of myself that I do live independently and do manage to cope incredibly well with the difficulties I have, oh, and that chronic doesn't mean especially bad, it means long term as opposed to acute which means comes on suddenly and tends to stop after a while.

After showing him the episode with the blind girl he wants us to eventually try no more than an hour of emergency doses of anti-psychotics. If that doesn't work I am to take one huge dose (larger than I normally take). This should reduce episodes to no more than an hour, after that the huge dose will likely force me to sleep while it works. However, for the next few months he has given me forms on which to scale my anxiety and panic because he thinks the anxiety is making the psychosis worse, so we could look into using emergency tranquillisers to take at the same time as the emergency anti-psychotic doses and see if that ends the episodes faster. I am still within a safety margin of being able to take 3 times as many anti-psychotics as my daily dose so there is no danger with taking one huge dose if I need to but we will discuss that next time after I have completed the forms.

He wants me to keep writing here (you are all stuck with me on medical orders) and recording as much of an episode as I can, he said it is helpful to him to see how they play out in detail. I asked him about my memory problems and he said unfortunately it is a part of schizophrenia, he doesn't think it so much the medication but a symptom of the illness and is very common.

So back in 3 months hopefully armed with more reports of how episodes play out and a lot of anxiety forms filled in!

jobbingmusician

Reading between the lines, I think he's INCREDIBLY proud of you and impressed with your progress! A very big WELL DONE....


FROM everyone on the forum,
TO Team WaS for any help they've managed to give
To WaSp for being such a support and (obviously) a truly lovely person
To your psychiatrist for acting like a lovely human being


Did Sir P go with you, in the end?

dibuzz

That's brilliant WaS, you have done so well.
I'm glad he wants you to keep posting, we wouldn't let you stop anyway but it's good that he says it's helpful.

Pyxis

Jolly well done WaS!
What a kind man he is!

Did you take Sir P. Or was he left at home emailing the elusive Pugliette?

Funnily enough, I had a hospital appointment this morning too, but only a review of my waterworks problem! In and out in about 15 minutes including waiting!

Waves_and_Smiles

Sir Pugliet did indeed go with me, right into the appointment and sat on my lap and listened, too!

I do think my psychiatrist thinks I am doing well, several times he said that I shouldn't underestimate how well I am coping with having complex mental health conditions and that there were a lot of people with less conditions who couldn't live within the community.

Interestingly, he believes the problem with being outside with people started off as fear people could read my thoughts when I was very ill but is now phobic rather than psychosis related. He said therefore we could work on treating it but he would like to try to shrink the psychotic episodes first. He said we are still looking at being into this for the long haul because each condition is going to have to be stabilised before we work on something else but I know that there isn't a quick fix and right now I should applaud myself for doing as well as I am. There might have been blushing.

He also said he will come and get me in future if it is easier to wait for him in the car which was so kind.

Pyxis

I thought of you earlier! After the hospital I popped into a charity shop, and there was a sort of rabbit with huggy arms, and the huggy arms were wrapped around a little rolled-up blanket! A toy with its own blanket! (Don't tell Sir Pugliet!)

I think it was supposed to be for a child to have in a car, to go to sleep under the blanket.

Anyway, it made me think of you!

Waves_and_Smiles

Awwww, how sweet! Sir Pugliet really needs his own blanket next time!

I am interested that my psychiatrist thought the main problem now is anxiety and phobias. He thinks that is what is making the psychotic episodes worse and longer and what is preventing me from being around people. He did talk to me a lot during the trip from the car to his office, asking if things felt unreal and what the voices were saying. He doesn't believe that was psychosis, it is basically an anxiety attack. That certainly is treatable so the new plan is to tackle anxiety and see if the episodes improve as a result.

He really is such a nice man, I didn't expect him to turn up at the car! WaSp feels I should pity him as he is extremely awkward around psychiatrists/doctors/nurses/medical personnel in general and had to take him to the car, he said he hardly spoke two words to him and is lucky he didn't get admitted for anxiety himself!

Waves_and_Smiles

In case anyone wonders why, there is a reason for WaSp's terror of all things medical. Before I met him he was on his bicycle and got hit by a speeding car. It threw him through someone's front window and he broke both legs, his pelvis, his arm, his collar bone and fractured his skull causing cranial bleeding during which he lost a lot of ability and had to learn how to do many simple things again, even speech had to be retaught. He was in hospital for 6 months and had no end of surgeries, he is held together with metal pins for the most part. Since then he is almost phobic around anything medical, he said that they never had good news for him for 6 months with a lot of surgeries needing repeating and follow up appointments for years afterwards. The poor man is really scarred by it.

Sir_Pugliet

I thought I'd just let you all know how well WaS and WaSp did this morning, and that I've fallen for her psychiatrist. When she wasn't looking he whispered in my ear and told me to give her lots of cuddles. I am also thinking of becoming a mental health professional, as I am learning lots from her consultation and her bioethics course

haybel19

Oh bless his heart -poor WasP - I can see why he is so scared and I can certainly sympathise my PTSD was caused entirely by a very bad experienced compounded by a further two surgeries and errors and very serous mistakes spanning a year long period.

Very king of the dr to come and get you- he sounds lovely and I do agree he sounds very proud- as he should be. You are absolutely amazing- glad you got a prescription to continue posting!

Little's one's doctor once gave her a prescription for mummys bed- which she loved and it has become a standing joke when she is poorly.

So proud of you. Huge hugs and a celebratory dance.

Talking of Dr i bettter go- little one has an appointment as we suspect poorly ears AGAIN!