Just needed to be heard for a little while

Pyxis

oldestgnome wrote: »

Turquoise blue light, waves and bubbles being sent to brighten the blackness.

Thank you, Oldestgnome, that's a super idea.

elsien

I'm curious as to how/why you can carry on posting when having this sort of episode? What is it that helps on here when you have your partner sitting by you already?
(Feel free not to answer, this might be a question for another time, I was just thinking that it might help you focus on this world?)

jobbingmusician

*pops in, conscious that concert starts in 7 minutes*

Belated HB, elsien!

WaS, condolences, hope this episode passes quickly. If you have any doubts that we are real, just ask Sir Pugliet, as he came directly from this thread! xxxx

Hugs and warm handshakes - sorry to have so little time! xxxx

Waves_and_Smiles

I hope that this coming across ok, it is hard for me to keep track of what I am saying and I can't remember what I have previously said. I have never tried writing publicly during an episode before so apologies if I repeat myself.

You made me laugh Pyxis remembering Cynthia so thank you for that. I have taken another dose of anti-psychotics so now I wait again. It took me ages to get out of bed because I couldn't stay in this world for long enough. Eventually my partner checked that I was ok which gave me enough focus to make it to the sofa. My partner says I am very pale and clammy to the touch even though I feel cold. The laptop is bouncing up and down on my legs because of the shaking. Not enough dopamine is linked to Parkinsons Disease and too much of it can also give similar symptoms as can taking extra anti-psychotics because they halt the chemical production in my brain.

The electric shocks are very painful now, my jaw and the side of my face is throbbing with my head but I have taken pain killers and a muscle relaxant to help with that..

The darkness is still there and the clock hands turn, it will ease soon. I have the clock right in front of me, it is helpful to watch the minutes tick by and know that by now the anti-psychotics will be blocking further chemical production so my brain just has to use up what is here. I feel deeply for schizophrenics who do not realise what is happening within their bodies, one of my biggest coping strategies is that I know what is happening. I am not going insane, I am not out of control. It is a simple biochemical reaction that will stop. I just have to wait.

I will be very tired after this. Even though I feel almost paralysed by the stillness inside and out my adrenaline will be flooding my body and all of my muscles are tightened. The room keeps tipping from side to side with the dizziness and my eyes keep going out of focus. I hope that this helps people realise that schizophrenics when psychotic are not just battling mental health symptoms, a lot of their confusion is because they feel so awful physically too.

Waves_and_Smiles

It is getting better than it was before I started posting, I am less distressed than I was. I used to write pages and pages when I had a psychotic episode, I could fill a notebook in a couple of hours. Writing does help focus me as long as the catatonia doesn't take over, then I cannot do anything. One of the things I was taught with CBT was to write throughout it because I lean towards finding writing easy, others might be advised to draw or paint or play music, for some people doing something constant and repetitive can help, like playing card games over and over again. Anything to maintain the focus on this world that is calming and push everything out so it doesn't remain going round and round inside ones head.

I do feel better, the shaking is lessening and the blackness is receding a little.

Pyxis

WaS, you are being incredibly helpful and informative.

I would like someone in power to read this thread and to learn what we are learning.

And yes, what Jobbingmusician said about Pugliet is right; he's your tangible link with this thread, proof that we are all real, and by inference, that what we are telling you is the truth.

We can be your lights in the darkness! No more darkness when we're around! (No more peace and quiet either, by the looks of things!)

elsien

Does the blackness have any pinpricks of light you can focus on, or glimmers of hope around the edges? I'm thinking of blackness broken up by stars twinkling away.

oldestgnome

Pyxis wrote: »

WaS, you are being incredibly helpful and informative.

I would like someone in power to read this thread and to learn what we are learning.

And yes, what Jobbingmusician said about Pugliet is right; he's your tangible link with this thread, proof that we are all real, and by inference, that what we are telling you is the truth.

We can be your lights in the darkness! No more darkness when we're around! (No more peace and quiet either, by the looks of things!)

Pyxis is spot on again (and made me laugh out loud!):rotfl:

oldestgnome

elsien wrote: »

Does the blackness have any pinpricks of light you can focus on, or glimmers of hope around the edges? I'm thinking of blackness broken up by stars twinkling away.

Sounds really pretty Elsien

whitewing

Are you actually on your period, WaS?

What is The Recorder saying?