Just needed to be heard for a little while

dibuzz

I have 3 teddies on my bed. I often cuddle them in the night, especially now my dog has gone.

Pyxis

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Just so you don't feel alone - look what I bought this week!



I don't normally buy soft toys, and haven't for about a decade, but this little pug really made me smile - I had just met 4 real little pugs, and although their breathing always worries me, I think they are really cute. This one came from the pound shop! (A dog from the pound lololol )

PS I included the watch for scale. He's cuter than in this photo, which doesn't really do justice to the little wrinkles on his face.

Dog from the pound! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: that's priceless!

Here's a bear for you!



Although I had toys, I never had a teddy bear, don't know why. Then one day, years ago, I was in a gift shop, and there were these two wee little bears, and I picked them up to have a look. Well, that was fatal. When I put them back, they looked at me wistfully. I walked away, but they were still looking at me wistfully.
So I bought them. Don't tell MSE, 'cos they weren't cheap! Didn't even want a pair of bears!
I made a firm rule, after that; look at bears, but don't touch them, or else you'll have to buy them!
Last year, I saw some super bears in a local shop, big enough to cuddle, and very squidgy, but soft-filled so that they slumped, and looked really forlorn, really eeyore-ish. I didn't dare pick them all up to decide which to have, so I hurriedly decided on a colour and picked him up. Only £4.99! He is so slumped and forlorn, that when I feel slumped and forlorn, I look at him and give him a cuddle, and the silliness of it makes me giggle.
What. Am. I. Like? :rotfl:

Pyxis

Oh, WaS, I meant to say, and forgot, with all the bear talk, how are you with music?

Have you ever thought of maybe having a keyboard to play? Or any instrument, really?

Waves_and_Smiles

I am sorry to hear about your dog, dibuzz. I loved having my cats. One of them developed kidney failure and luckily as I was already used to injecting people I learnt how to give her subcutaneous fluids. It bought her another year of life and I still miss her to this day. I had her from 4 weeks old and she was beyond attached to me. I am glad you have your teddies though, give them a cuddle from me!

Thank you for the bear Pyxis, what a cutie! I would be exactly the same as you, it is probably just as well that I don't go out or I would come home with a new cuddly every trip. Whenever my 3 special people wish to send me a gift I always say a cuddly toy so now they try to buy the most unusual ones possible. My best friend sent me red-tailed hawk as her last gift! I have toys in every room, even in the bathroom I have a Mr Sniffles soap dispenser from Giant Microbes (if you haven't heard of them do search, they are hilarious).

Music is a tricky one. Although at times I can enjoy it one of my regular hallucinations is the sound of a radio playing complete with DJ. I can hear the songs in full with their lyrics, the DJ speaking, and it can go on for hours which drives me mad (pardon the pun). Therefore I tend to avoid music for the most part as it tends to trigger it and then I can hear little else over the sound of it for a while.

jobbingmusician

OMG OMG that is fascinating! I have probably misremembered Oliver Sacks, but that does tend, in my mind at least, to support any theory that your illness is a biochemical/neurologically based one. Have you read Musicophilia? It's very rare to hear music like that, but my memory is that it does indicate some sort of weird biochemistry. I must listen again. Have you read any Oliver Sacks, or seen any of the (rather old, now) TV programmes?

I just get earworms (that means phrases of music that won't go away, in case anyone hasn't heard the term before :eek: ) especially after I have been studying a piece for a while!

Edit - I said listen, above, rather than read, which was a typo. However, there was a reason for it. When OS published Musicophilia, I tried to get an audio copy for my husband, who has multiple problems including nystagmus which means he can't read (his eyes bounce around too much). I wrote to his office and complained, saying what a shame it was that the very people about whom he was writing couldn't read his books. The lovely people sent us audio copies (tapes of the older ones, discs of the newer ones) of ALL his books completely free of charge!!!!!!!!! Sooooo sweet of them! So I am in the very lucky position that I can listen to Musicophilia in the car.........

Waves_and_Smiles

I didn't realise that it was unusual although you have cleared up why psychiatrists have always been very interested in it when to me it is just an annoyance. It happens several times a week and it is complete songs with a beginning, middle and end and clearly heard lyrics, sometimes I am not even aware that I knew the song enough to hallucinate it. Some I recognise and some I don't but they will always play through in their entirety and then the DJ will announce what the song was (sometimes), talk for a while and play another. It has lasted for over 4 hours before by which time I am almost screaming.

I shall have to look up Musicophilia and Oliver Sachs, anything that gives me a clue about what is happening at the time is useful as if I can make sense of things they become less distressing.

Pyxis

What about music that you have total control over, i.e. music that you play yourself?
I love the sound of the tenor recorder, a lovely chestnut brown sound, it almost feels like velvet! And they're not expensive, and quite easy to learn on your own.
And totally under your control.

The reason I ask is that music can be so healing.

Waves_and_Smiles

I love the sound of music but even if I am controlling it, it will trigger the 'radio' to start playing. I could attempt playing an instrument myself, I have never tried as this has put me off but it is worth considering.

On the subject of biochemical/neurological problems I had an EEG which was abnormal, increased activity in one part of my brain and decreased in another where it shouldn't be happening. They were testing for Temporal Lobe Epilepsy which didn't show but this did. I never found out what the differences were so it might be an idea to get my notes about that. It could be interesting...

Waves_and_Smiles

It is my best friends birthday today. She doesn't know about this but I am going to attempt to call her on Skype. It will only be for 10 minutes because my paranoia will be insane by then but we haven't seen each other for a long time and I know that it will mean the world to her. I need to be brave, wish me luck!

A little about my best friend. She is a web designer who is self-employed, fortunately this means she can work anywhere, she also lives in America. We have similar problems but she is able to travel whereas I can't so we are a huge support for each other, we have been best friends for 7 years. Other than this year and the past year she has stayed with me for 3 months out of every 12, usually split into trips every 8 weeks. This works wonderfully as we get to spend ages together and my partner gets a break from caring for me. It also helps her as she has a daughter and although a wonderful mother she finds it hard going after a while with her psychiatric problems. She has a very good relationship with her daughters father (they are divorced) so he then looks after their child while she is here and she can get her strength up for the next few months. She does miss her girl terribly but they Skype every day and she has found the best way not to become overwhelmed is to take a break every now and then. Fortunately there is a huge family support network on both the parents sides and her daughter is very confident and settles happily with any of her relatives.

She is only one of 3 people that I can have staying overnight in my home without feeling afraid. Last year and this year, sadly for me, but wonderfully for her she is taking an MA so doesn't have the time to do that but we hope to be back on schedule for next year. I trust her with everything and we have a lot of fun while she is here. We miss each other very much even though we speak on a messenger everyday so a Skype call would be wonderful for both of us. Now just to get brave enough. Taking the duct tape off of the webcam would be a start...

dibuzz

Good luck, I couldn't use Skype and avoid the phone as much as I can so you're brave than me. I hope it goes well.