Not contributing to colleagues' birthday gifts

angeltreats

Mojisola wrote: »

I agree with this - I wouldn't want everyone in a big office knowing my birth date. Do people have to give their permission for their DOB to be given out by HR?

Sorry I might have been misleading - each manager is given the birthdays of their immediate reports, so only my direct manager would receive my birthday if you see what I mean, nobody else would receive it, and only the actual day, not the year (so say Bob Smith - 1 May, Jane Jones - 14 May, that's all the detail). Nobody sees it other than the manager. The only purpose is in case the manager wants to organise a birthday card, which they always do.

Nobody has ever complained or been unhappy about it that I know of. Despite the size of the company it is very friendly, everyone knows everyone else and gets on very well and it has quite a family feel about it, so it's quite nice to get a card signed by your team. The CEO also has everyone's birthday in his diary and takes the time every morning to send a birthday email to anyone whose birthday it is, just to wish them a nice day, which we all think is rather nice given how busy he is.

When a whip round does happen, which isn't really that often in a team of about 45 people if it's only for big birthdays, babies and weddings, an envelope comes round with everyone's names printed on it that includes the card to sign and the collection. It's passed to you, you sign the card and contribute if you want, cross your name off and pass it along to the next person on the list. Nobody stands over you to make sure you contribute and it's your choice if you don't want to - nobody would even know. But I can honestly say I've never felt annoyed at the collections and nobody else has ever complained. I think the managers usually contribute a bit more but generally people put in a pound each.

It genuinely is a nice company, morale is good and there's very little b!tchiness. We are quite sociable and often have lunch together or organise a night out (not compulsory but there's always a good turnout). We also receive a hamper at Christmas, an easter egg, and a fantastic night out at Christmas with partners invited too, including overnight accommodation and free bar etc. We are quite well looked after. It's certainly the best company I've ever worked for and I will really miss my colleagues during my maternity leave. It would never have occurred to me that the monthly birthday lists were something to complain about!

Robisere

Not read all responses, but there would be two alternatives for me:

Tell the whole office that you are currently experiencing great financial difficulty and need to cut your spending to the bone, so will be unable to contribute to birthdays from now on, but will give a card. (Make them cheap, to maintain the reason.)

OR: - a little fibbery here -

Tell the whole office that your religion does not celebrate birthdays, and you have been uncomfortable with the system in place for a long time, so you will not be giving again.

Kantankrus_Mare

Another way of getting round this is to say to office manager that you and a few other staff members (who do not wish to be named )
find the whole thing very expensive and you feel obliged to contribute.
Couldn't something be set up where everyone puts in a pound a week
and everyone gets the same amount when birthday comes around? Much fairer system and the manager won't find out who else is "against" it but my betting is that a lot of the other staff feel the same way as you!

Lozzy88

Hate this, when I was 18 I had a Christmas temp job and was bullied by another staff member to give a £5 for a managers birthday.

I reported her to the manager (whos birthday it was) and explained I didn't buy birthday gifts for my brothers/sisters or parents so I will not give money to his gift. He was fine with it and told me that every year she got people awful 'Joke' type gifts a waste of every ones time and money lol.

k12479

angeltreats wrote: »

Nobody has ever complained or been unhappy about it that I know of.

Some people aren't bothered about their own birthdays. Some people don't wish to share these things with work colleagues. Some, Jehovah's Witnesses it appears, don't celebrate birthdays on religious grounds. It's not for companies or colleagues to infringe upon any of that in their quest for being nice.

There is no good business reason for your HR dept. to be distributing personal information and doing so breaches the DPA - e.g. http://www.hrzone.com/topic/employment-law/hr-tip-disclosing-employees-birthdays. Does make you wonder what else your HR are doing wrong, because this seems pretty basic stuff.

Lily-Rose_3

I don't like people knowing my birthday as I dislike a fuss. I would just be so embarrassed to have people hollaring happy birthday to me. Who starts these blasted things?!

Contessa

Not birthday collection but similar. A very, very long time ago I was in my second job. About 40 people were employed there. It was suggested that there should be a collection for flowers when people were ill.
I thought this was a nice idea and was surprised when my manager, for whom I had great respect, refused to contribute. Later she told me that she did this as a point of principle as she objected to colleagues being pressured to contribute when they didn't earn much.
Her argument was that although she could well afford the contribution, by refusing she was setting a precedent that it was OK to say no and made it easier for young staff to decline to contribute.
She was a wise and forthright woman!

FatVonD

At my last job I would never divulge when it was my birthday as I hate the whole 'standing round singing Happy Birthday badly' thing, I will do the same at my current job.

At the job before my last I said I didn't want to contribute to birthdays and should we stop doing it. It was stopped though I think everyone probably thought I was a miserable killjoy :rotfl: There weren't even that many of us there, to be honest, but I just think it is a dreadful waste of money (the same with Secret Santa), once you multiply it across all the birthdays that is an awful lot of money being spent on tat that will end up in the bin.

jenhug

we had a birthday club at work and contributed £2 a month, we all got a card and a token gift. That was plenty.