Not contributing to colleagues' birthday gifts

Mojisola

How does the person who collects for the birthdays know everyone's birthday date?

mountainofdebt

In my last job it depended very much on your relationship with the birthday person.

A close colleague/friend - card, bottle of wine &/flowers - and if you had a long association perhaps something more personal

Other than that it was a 'happy birthday' as you munched on the cake

I did give to a collection even though I'd only been there a couple of weeks but it was £2 and I did munch on his cake so felt it would be rude not to.

SandC

We only do 'big' birthdays and other special occasions here. Then if you are close to colleagues who have a birthday it's up to you if you get them a card or gift.

Some birthday people bring cakes on the day and others don't.

I wouldn't want any more fuss than that and in actual fact nobody holds a list here and nobody knows when my birthday is. If it's on a weekday I bake some brownies or something but no-one then makes a note for the next year so they never remember. Ha ha. Just as I like it.

onlyroz

We only have collections for babies, marriages, or when somebody leaves. On birthdays sometimes the person whose birthday it is might bring in cakes or biscuits. It would seem weird to have a collection for every single birthday, especially if it was a large office.

Tixy

I would definitely say something and say in advance that you do not want a collection doing for your birthday. They'll likely then guess that you won't be contributing to future collections.

I think your office sounds unusual in having collections for so many people so frequently.

I'd also try to raise/suggest that perhaps collections could be limited to big birthdays (21,30,40,50,60) and weddings & births as they'd then feel more special and would cost everyone less.

angeltreats

We do cards for all birthdays (bought and circulated by their manager), collections for big birthdays, babies, weddings and leaving. That's it. But you're only expected to put in a pound which I really don't have a problem with. I'm quite shocked to hear that people are expected to put a tenner in a collection for a normal birthday.

Difficult to be the one to speak out though.

PenguinOfDeath

Oakie wrote: »

One place I worked had a system in place where everyone contributed £5 a month into the 'present fund'. Then when it was someone's birthday the organiser would buy a present. So basically everyone got out what they put in. It also avoided the problem that some people were more popular than others and would receive a bigger present than someone else.

They did this at a place I used to work at. Myself and a few other refused as we wanted to leave the company anyway... Plus my birthday's in October. People with birthdays Jan - April got presents, some (including myself) we made redundant in May the office closed down in September...

cazziebo

In DH's work it's the birthday boy or girl who brings in cakes for everyone - means it's only once a year you're out of pocket. Some people keep quiet about their birthday and don't bother but that's no big deal.

Your place sounds difficult - three a month? How do they know everyone is included? How do they know what people like? Hard not to raise it without looking like the office party pooper..

Is there a team meeting where you could put it on the agenda? Preferably not the day before the office trouble maker's birthday...

Lily-Rose_3

I agree that this needs to be brought up at a team meeting. As someone said above, I bet many people are getting irked with it, and people probably won't mind.

It depends how many there are in the office (there was 27 in my last one,) but I agree with everyone putting just 25 to 50 pence each in and buying a cake from Sainsburys or something, and ONE card being bought and signed by everyone.

Then again, why does something HAVE to be bought for every last person's birthday?! Like the OP, I also only buy for very close family: no more than 5 or 6 family members (and my husband and daughter too,) so the idea of spending money on someone I either don't know well or don't like much, just incenses me tbh!

Someone needs to speak up about it. Why not you OP? And yes, saying something about 2 weeks before 'your' birthday sounds an ideal time.

angeltreats

cazziebo wrote: »

In DH's work it's the birthday boy or girl who brings in cakes for everyone - means it's only once a year you're out of pocket. Some people keep quiet about their birthday and don't bother but that's no big deal.

We do this too. Nobody ever seems to mind. We also bring cakes for everyone if we've passed a big exam, eg the last one for a qualification.

My company is pretty big and every month, HR circulates a list to the managers of all the birthdays in their team that month. It's the managers who organise birthday cards signed by everyone, and collections for big birthdays etc. So nobody gets left out. For weddings it's normally vouchers, for babies it's normally lots of baby stuff bought by someone you're particularly friendly with so would know what you need/already have, and for birthdays either the manager will know you pretty well or they will ask someone who does for help. Everyone seems to do pretty well from it and nobody has ever expressed that they thought it was too much or unfair.