Mum having to go into care, what should we do with house

stoneman

cavework wrote: »

Have you EVER been a full time carer? Do you have any idea what this entails?
Take time out from work??
So how long do you suggest? 1 month , 1 year .. 10 years?
Do you even understand how moving an elderly parent into your home affects your life?..
and finally do you understand that people who decide to to do this have pathetic financial back up from the very establishment that they are paying into and saving money for?
Check it out and then come back with your moralising attitude
People are just so darned quick to judge until they are faced with this situation..

Don't be so harsh, I don't think shireknight was moralising.
We had thought of this actually.
My sister is 61 so could retire anyway, but she took some time off work to look after her when she started to get bad, but when mum was still able to "come round". Even then sis said she didn't know how people did it, and now needing someone with her 24/7, she says she wouldn't have the patience.


Anyway, after looking at the rental possibilities and what it entails even if the property was fully managed I have grown a couple and told my sister that we are selling the property.


After all she did say at the start that she wanted nothing to do with what happened to the house, then she decided that she wanted EVERYTHING to do with it.


Final decision!

patanne

These are difficult decisions. Even when you know they are the right decisions they are still difficult. Making a decision for someone who cannot is even more difficult than most and you just have to go with your gut and hope that all involved feel the same way.

cavework

shireknight,
I want to apologise to you for my knee jerk reaction to your post.
I have re read it and you only wanted to help.
No excuse for my reply but often people who are faced with having to find care for elderly parents and who post on here get stock replies from some, who are under the impression that the only reason a care home is required is because relatives can't be bothered to give the care required themselves and are only thinking of their inheritance..
Often this is far from the truth
once again I apologise

pelirocco

stoneman wrote: »

Sadly my mum has had to go into a nursing home because of her vascular dementia, there she will spend the rest of her days, she is 90, but is as fit as a butchers dog.


My sister and I are now left with the best way to utilise her home to help fund the care. She has about £42K in the bank, receives £900 a month in pensions, the house is valued at £125K, care is £3000 a month!! (she needs MEI care because of the severity of the dementia) which is why the fees are so high.


So, we are looking at maybe renting it out, it will fetch £640 PCM inc. management fees (neither of us live near enough to deal with anything should it arise).


We have also looked at selling it, but don't really know what ramafications this might have. I have to add that we both have power of attorney.


Any advise would be welcome, we are not in immediate rush because she has savings, but we don't have a clue what to do either.


I feel so sad, my mum was in the WRAF during the war, saved a bit of money to give to her kids when she dies (dad passed away 15 years ago, and he was involved in the D day landings) and if she had any inkling that all that meant nothing and her hard earned savings would have to be used to fund her care, she would commit suicide before letting that happen.
Rant over

She doesn't have to fund her care , you can or you can nurse her. And yes I do know what it's like my mother in law had vascular dementia, when she entered the end stage of her dementia her 2 children had no wish to inherit anything they were happy there were assets to fund the best care they could get , but sadly she died before this could happen.

If I am able to leave my children something it will be a bonus but frankly I think everyone where possible should be investing for an old age where the likely hood is they will need care .I have seen plenty of care homes where I'd rather not Spend my last days

cavework

.. The people who own their own homes because they paid the darned mortgage for 25 years and don't have a spouse still living in their 'OWNED' property have to pay for Nursing care while those who lived in Social Housing get a virtually free ride?
That's the crux of it

Why the heck should people who have paid their mortgage and paid to OWN and maintain their home over the years now be ripped off for being sensible and responsible when it comes to requiring care??
In fact why do any of our elderly and their families who find they need extra care have to fight tooth and nail for funding while this country,s government is still happy to send billions abroad to support the welfare of people in other countries, ignoring the very people who lived, fought and lost loved ones throughout WW2 and who enabled our politicians to stand and represent us today

ViolaLass

Because the principle has always been 'to each according to their needs, from each according to their means'.

cavework

Marx had a point but how do you apply this retrospectively without a revolution to back you up?