Advice on stopping payment to ex for son needed

m9g

Person_one wrote: »

I'd be very surprised if that were true.

Are you going to cut off the children from your 'other family' when they reach 18 too?

there you go there has to be one that judges, if you havent got anything useful to say then dont bother

For your information YES I do believe I have paid for everything for my son, I have another child I know how much they cost. The amount I have paid my ex way more than covers his cost of living and on top I pay for all his clothing, all his sports equipment hes fancied trying and any school trips he's been on - THE LOT!!!! which I have previously said I was happy to do

m9g

I supported him all through his life, I supported him through his 2 year college course studying his chosen career path, now he's 18 and decided actually fancy trying something else then I think thats his choice and as he works part time if he wants to go back to college again and "try something else" then he should support himself to a certain degree

m9g

Anyway I think this is now closed, I know what I'm going to do and thank every member that has contributed some useful information

POPPYOSCAR

m9g wrote: »

I supported him all through his life, I supported him through his 2 year college course studying his chosen career path, now he's 18 and decided actually fancy trying something else then I think thats his choice and as he works part time if he wants to go back to college again and "try something else" then he should support himself to a certain degree

I agree with you.

There does seem to be an 'expectation' by some of the younger generation that parents are there just to support them!.

When I was living at home I got the roof over my head and food. I had a sat and sun job from the age of 13 which I bought my own clothes with and anything else I needed.

I believe this has made me the person I am today. It made me ambitious, determined to work hard and get somewhere.

CH27

Are you on speaking terms with your ex? Could you all sit down & decide a way forward.
If he's working then maintenance shouldn't be paid & CB will stop.

m9g

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I agree with you.

There does seem to be an 'expectation' by some of the younger generation that parents are there just to support them!.

When I was living at home I got the roof over my head and food. I had a sat and sun job from the age of 13 which I bought my own clothes with and anything else I needed.

I believe this has made me the person I am today. It made me ambitious, determined to work hard and get somewhere.

Like you, I had paper rounds, washed up in a cafe and stuck skittles up in a local pub from the age of 13, I wanted something I had to buy it most of the time.

m9g

CH27 wrote: »

Are you on speaking terms with your ex? Could you all sit down & decide a way forward.
If he's working then maintenance shouldn't be paid & CB will stop.

I am on speaking terms, hes had a part time job for a couple of years now and going to college, he doesnt finish his course until next week. We have both asked him what he wants to do i.e. get a job or go back to college and all we get is dunno yet.

I have decided, as it could take him a while to decide (coz thats how he is) I am going to stop payment when he finishes his course, if he decides to go back to college and try something else at some point then I will as by law start paying again up until he is 20.

I am not going to pay for him to sit around on his pc and games machines for the next 6 months whilst he decides

PintAndAPie

Even though his course finishes in June you will probably still have to continue payments until September 1st, after that his CB will end and that is the measure that the CSA use to determine if maintainance is to be paid.

Person_one

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I agree.

Our daughter reaches 18 very soon.

She wants to do a course that she will have to pay for. She has already told us she is going to get a job and save to pay for this course.

We could pay it for her but think it will be good for her to do it her way.

Are you expecting her to move out or will you be charging her market rent for living at home? That would be the equivalent of a non-resident parent stopping all support completely.

PenguinJim

Financial support, you mean, of course.

Person_one, you seem to think that the only support parents can offer is financial. I feel very sorry for you. My parents continue to give me advice, a place where I can discuss my problems, and even email me links to bargains to this day.

And just to clarify: are you saying you would be happy to pay for your adult offspring to sit around and play PC and console games all day? For six months? A year? Ten years? What's your cut-off point?