Advice on stopping payment to ex for son needed

thorsoak

m9g wrote: »

I have spoken to him on numerous occasions but he doesnt know what he wants to do, he has a part time job chefing and earns quite well, I dont want to be giving my ex money for nothing every month if i dont have to as she works and her husband works

You have not been giving money to your ex, you have been paying maintenance for your son. If your ex is still receiving C/B for him though, you may have to continue to pay maintenance.

charlieboy321

even though your sons course finishes next month. maintenance is still payable until the 31st August, as child benefit is still payable until that date.
if he hasnt enrolled on a new course by the 1st sept then you van cease payment.
the young person used to be able to sign up with connexions and that meant that all child related money was still payable including maintenance but im not sure if that rule still appies.
hope that helps

Person_one

m9g wrote: »

Dont judge me on this, I can take pride in knowing I have paid for absolutely everything my son has ever wanted or needed since he was only a year old, my ex has not had to pay for a thing.

I'd be very surprised if that were true.

Are you going to cut off the children from your 'other family' when they reach 18 too?

PenguinJim

You mean when they are legally adults and should be learning independence and self-reliance?

Do you think parents should pay for everything throughout their children's entire lives, then, Person_one?

Person_one

PenguinJim wrote: »

You mean when they are legally adults and should be learning independence and self-reliance?

Do you think parents should pay for everything throughout their children's entire lives, then, Person_one?

Do you know any parents who live with their children and then suddenly stop any support completely on their 18th birthday? Throw them out the house, stop feeding them etc?

PenguinJim

In another thread you were telling me my personal experience didn't count for anything! Now you want it to count for something?

Perhaps read this. Some interesting arguments both for and against babying offspring in their 20s.

adouglasmhor

Person_one wrote: »

Do you know any parents who live with their children and then suddenly stop any support completely on their 18th birthday? Throw them out the house, stop feeding them etc?

I knew one, she was very surprised years later when her kids didn't give a stuff about her and were to busy to bring the grandkids round, visit her in a care home etc.

POPPYOSCAR

PenguinJim wrote: »

You mean when they are legally adults and should be learning independence and self-reliance?

Do you think parents should pay for everything throughout their children's entire lives, then, Person_one?

I agree.

Our daughter reaches 18 very soon.

She wants to do a course that she will have to pay for. She has already told us she is going to get a job and save to pay for this course.

We could pay it for her but think it will be good for her to do it her way.

PenguinJim

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Our daughter reaches 18 very soon.

She wants to do a course that she will have to pay for. She has already told us she is going to get a job and save to pay for this course.

We could pay it for her but think it will be good for her to do it her way.

That's brilliant. I only hope we can parent so well and produce a completely-independent 18-year-old. It's hard to imagine anything that would make me prouder, and it's a wonderful goal to have.

m9g

thorsoak wrote: »

You have not been giving money to your ex, you have been paying maintenance for your son. If your ex is still receiving C/B for him though, you may have to continue to pay maintenance.

Your getting me wrong I know I have been paying towards my son and not giving my ex money, what i'm saying is now that he is 18 and left school and earning money then if I have no need to pay her any more then if i continue to pay her then it is money paid to her