Hen party present?

aileth

Sounds like a perfect gift for me to take to their wedding, Tea

Horace

Cheeky mare - as for the wedding don't go, use the money you would have spent on a pamper day for yourself.

aileth

Horace wrote: »

Cheeky mare - as for the wedding don't go, use the money you would have spent on a pamper day for yourself.

I really wish I could do that, but the drama that would ensue would be hugely regrettable!

thorsoak

Frankly, in your position, I would be questioning my own relationship - from what you've posted it would seem as if the whole family views you with a large dose of hostility. Do you really want to be dreading every family occasion for the next umpteen years - Christmas, birthdays, christenings, weddings, funerals, etc etc etc?

caringa

My daughter went to my now daughter in laws hen weekend as was asked by the person organising it if she and the others could take something small under £5 value which had a special memory or meaning to the bride to be. It was to be given anonamously so that the b to b had to guess who it was from. My daughter is a cat lover as is her now sister in law and so she gave a small picture of her breed of cat. This seemed to work quite well.

daisiegg

This is ridiculous. It did not cross my mind to think people would give me gifts on my hen do (and they didn't). I don't get it! I am going to a hen do in a couple of weeks from now and no mention has been made of gifts. I don't intend to take one!

aileth

thorsoak wrote: »

Frankly, in your position, I would be questioning my own relationship - from what you've posted it would seem as if the whole family views you with a large dose of hostility. Do you really want to be dreading every family occasion for the next umpteen years - Christmas, birthdays, christenings, weddings, funerals, etc etc etc?

I don't think it's so much hostility, but I do think they are all very two-faced. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character and it's very difficult when your husband can't view any of them other than gleaming.

My birthday was this weekend. MIL totally forgot it and still hasn't said a word, husband refuses to believe she's forgotten it and that a card 'must be in the post' (denial). The rest sent me a card but didn't get me anything due to the wedding coming up, which I'm not surprised considering the money being milked, but I suppose I'm being pretty childish about it really.

thorsoak

aileth wrote: »

I don't think it's so much hostility, but I do think they are all very two-faced. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character and it's very difficult when your husband can't view any of them other than gleaming.

My birthday was this weekend. MIL totally forgot it and still hasn't said a word, husband refuses to believe she's forgotten it and that a card 'must be in the post' (denial). The rest sent me a card but didn't get me anything due to the wedding coming up, which I'm not surprised considering the money being milked, but I suppose I'm being pretty childish about it really.

Well - are you going to be able to cope with the two faced attitude? They aren't going to change! If you have a family - where will your OH's loyalties lie?

Starrystarrynight

I think I'd be waking up feeling very poorly on the morning of the wedding, and send OH alone!

I would at least expect your OH to have a quiet word with his family & ask them to be a bit more sensitive in future. He really should be standing up for you, OP.

Your future SiL sounds very shallow, greedy & self absorbed, so why care what she thinks. She seems to be heading for a bitter & disappointing life lol!

aileth

Starrystarrynight wrote: »

I think I'd be waking up feeling very poorly on the morning of the wedding, and send OH alone!

I would at least expect your OH to have a quiet word with his family & ask them to be a bit more sensitive in future. He really should be standing up for you, OP.

Your future SiL sounds very shallow, greedy & self absorbed, so why care what she thinks. She seems to be heading for a bitter & disappointing life lol!

Me thinks it's not just SIL though, BIL is just as bad. It really wouldn't surprise me if the engagement party/hen party/wedding gift list is a joint enterprise to fleece everyone for as much as possible.