Hen party present?

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  • I organised a hen party last year and for one of the games we asked everyone to bring a small gift (I specified under £5, but ideally less) and the hen had to guess who each was from. It was lots of fun and most gifts were very inexpensive (eg chopsticks as they went to china together, a chocolate bar they both like, etc). Could it be something like this?

    I recall that the other bridesmaid suggested asking everyone to bring a proper present or contribute £10 each but I dismissed it as it seems really odd to me.
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  • aileth
    aileth Posts: 2,822 Forumite
    No unfortunately it's nothing like that.

    Her sister asked everyone to bring her a gift. I said to her I wasn't coming so should I give her a gift, yes, people have bought her champagne flutes, champagne, jewellery, etc, that she only opened after the party from what I've gathered.
  • pink_petal
    pink_petal Posts: 349 Forumite
    That is crazy! My own hen do is in August and I would be so embarrassed if people brought me presents! I've never heard of such a thing! Must go and speak to my BMs to make sure this isn't happening!

    I'd honestly leave it. Or just buy a bottle of prosecco or something to go along with the wedding present with a note saying it's just a wee token since you couldn't make the hen do?

    PP x
  • summerspring
    summerspring Posts: 1,236 Forumite
    thorsoak wrote: »
    Thank her for blocking you on F/B - if your B/f wants to buy her a present - well as long as he uses his money ......;-)

    I might have got bit lost here but I think the bride-to-be is OP's husband's brother's fiancee? And the trouble-maker/bossy-boots seems to be the sister of this fiancee.

    I feel your pain OP, I'm in the dog-house myself for not attending a wedding do! (I was not feeling well). Seems there's nothing like weddings for people having a falling-out :(

    But to answer your question, as far as I know the hen and stag nights are more for a get-together, I think. I am not sure if presents are given.
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  • aileth
    aileth Posts: 2,822 Forumite
    Correct, Flumina. Her sister removed me from Facebook, but the sarcastic text actually came from the bride-to-be.

    I am absolutely positively dreading the wedding. I hate weddings as they are but this is going to be super awkward, not to mention combined with the fact they never told us we could book a room but told everyone else, they've apparently got a bus to ferry from church to hotel but we've not been told if we're on it or not, and whenever it's brought up it's skimmed over which makes me think no.

    I really, really don't want to go but I'm going to have to suck it up else there'll be drama for ages.
  • shiney85
    shiney85 Posts: 43 Forumite
    Poor you having such an awful S-I-L to be! Weddings are getting out of hand, engagement parties (plus presents), hen-do (apparantly now including presents!), wedding day (plus more presents!), why do couples expect people to fork out for their day??

    My OH and I are both quite insistent that nobody should be out of pocket when our time finally comes, my hen will be a girly afternoon at home with facemasks, nail painting and cocktails whilst we watch Dirty Dancing, then a meal out with the boys (stag will have gone paintballing or something, all paid for by us) again, all paid for by us. We'll pick a reasonable place, and we won't be afraid to haggle on a group price! :) It's what WE want to do, so why should others have to pay??! And presents, just no,!
  • aileth
    aileth Posts: 2,822 Forumite
    Totally agree, Shiney. My hen do was a bottle of champers provided by my sister and a sleepover with alcohol provided by us and cheesy horror movies. Even at our wedding we didn't have a gift list, we just said that people can give us some money for honeymoon or whatever if they really wanted, weren't really bothered.

    They also had an engagement party where you had to bring gifts too and the wedding has a gift registry. Seems like they are treating the whole thing as one humongous milking exercise.
  • Idiophreak
    Idiophreak Posts: 12,024 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    aileth wrote: »
    the sarcastic text actually came from the bride-to-be.

    Oh well, there went the wedding present, then...
  • Wow, I've never heard of anybody giving presents at the hen do and I know loads of people who have been to hen nights recently.
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    I've remembered one instance of taking gifts to a hen do.... we went to Alton Towers on a minibus and we all took a bag of sweets for the journey :) not sure if your SIL will appreciate a bag of haribo though :rotfl:, she seems to have slightly more ahem, expensive tastes (I'm trying not to say money-grabbing).
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