Where to start....

themull1

Delree wrote: »

All I hear is a flimsy justification for trying to weasel out of a lifetime commitment because it doesn't suit the adult's wants or desires anymore.


The kids will pick up on the lack of love, they will have a warped view on what family life is, I mean all this just hogwash to justify a selfish decision and make the perpetrators feel better about themselves. I'm not that bothered it happens all the time, it's just sad that people have kids then don't take their needs into account when considering their own.

Oh, and I've been married three times, my only kids from my second husband are very happy, they get on really well with my current hubby, and my ex husbands current wife, they can't really remember when we were together. People only live once - never stay with someone you don't love or even hate because of your kids. The kids will get over it.

StuC75

Totally agree with this and fortunately delree appears to be in a minority of 1 here.

I Personally have 2 children from previous relationships, and all are happy with the situation..

Do wonder what qualifies Delree in his personal experience..

themull1 wrote: »

Oh, and I've been married three times, my only kids from my second husband are very happy, they get on really well with my current hubby, and my ex husbands current wife, they can't really remember when we were together. People only live once - never stay with someone you don't love or even hate because of your kids. The kids will get over it.

Delree

I don't really care that much it just irks me that people think all of the above is okay.

freshstart11

You obviously do care with the way you knock down anyone else's views and experience

Delree

freshstart11 wrote: »

You obviously do care with the way you knock down anyone else's views and experience

I feel sorry for the kids who have no control over their capricious parents. That is all, it doesn't affect me one iota.


I disagree with their views and state so, is there a problem?

partialycloudy

Delree wrote: »

I feel sorry for the kids who have no control over their capricious parents. That is all, it doesn't affect me one iota.


I disagree with their views and state so, is there a problem?

You know the saying "Sh*t happens"?

News flash....Children have no control over anything. Why? Because they are children. Parents as the adults make decisions based on what they think is the best for their family.

And things happen in adult life that we have no control over. We can't let kids grow up with some warped view that life is a Disney movie. Good and Bad things happen in all walks of life!

And I'm speaking as a child from a divorced family.

victory

Delree wrote: »

I feel sorry for the kids who have no control over their capricious parents. That is all, it doesn't affect me one iota.


I disagree with their views and state so, is there a problem?

No problem, other than your responses are not based on what the OP has asked help for are not helping in any way the pain and anguish she is going through and your replies are because life has dealt you a bad blow, I would hazzard a guess that either you have been let down/ your parents let you down/ your wife/husband had an affair, you have been badly hurt and bitter from the experience to keep saying how sorry you feel for the kids but will not see that there are a million and one sides and reasons for a marriage breakdown that is truly a heart breaking experience that no one would wish on their children.

Delree

victory wrote: »

No problem, other than your responses are not based on what the OP has asked help for are not helping in any way the pain and anguish she is going through and your replies are because life has dealt you a bad blow, I would hazzard a guess that either you have been let down/ your parents let you down/ your wife/husband had an affair, you have been badly hurt and bitter from the experience to keep saying how sorry you feel for the kids but will not see that there are a million and one sides and reasons for a marriage breakdown that is truly a heart breaking experience that no one would wish on their children.

Sure there are a many reasons and you will see that I wrote in my original response that I can understand if a partner is abusive or unfaithful but the reason given was "we'd grown apart" and I simply don't think that's a good a enough reason to rip your children's worlds apart because the parents no longer fancy each other. If it really were something they wouldn't wish on their children then they wouldn't break up, but they do wish it on them.


You guess the reason for my attitude from completely the wrong angle, I'm 35 and my parents are still together. I felt badly growing up for kids who didn't have the home life I had and I still do today. I can't help it and I absolutely place OP's children's needs WAAAAAAY above his.

System

Delree wrote: »

I can understand if someone cheats or is abusive but just growing apart (whatever that means) is a selfish reason to split up when you have kids who by the way didn't ask to be born. You two should be adults and face up to your responsibilities.

The children will always have their parents whether they live together or not.

Delree

Judi wrote: »

The children will always have their parents whether they live together or not.

Yes I'm sure they will but it's not the point I'm making.