Where to start....

Delree

superted wrote: »

So I should just live an unhappy life and grow to hate the wife. Then have the kids suffer in an unhappy house hold?

That said thanks for your input

Yes in short, at least until the kids are older and better able to deal with it. Why does your happiness trump theirs? They didn't ask to be born.

snow_ball

My parents tried to stay together for us kids, it was horrendous and when they eventually split it was a relief.

Being an adult means making difficult decisions that are best for the whole family and in some cases that means mum & dad can't live together anymore, I'm glad my parents agreed on that and know it was the hardest decision they ever made.

superted

Delree wrote: »

Yes in short, at least until the kids are older and better able to deal with it. Why does your happiness trump theirs? They didn't ask to be born.

Totally disagree... Kids no matter what age will be effected...

But once again thanks for your thoughts on the matter

stir_crazy

Delree wrote: »

Yes in short, at least until the kids are older and better able to deal with it. Why does your happiness trump theirs? They didn't ask to be born.

Are you for real? Lots of children grow up in happy households after their parents have divorced. Just as others have also grown up in unhappy households just because their parents tried to stay together and end up fighting all the time.

Prefering someone to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids is a very old fashioned view.

Delree

stir_crazy wrote: »

Are you for real? Lots of children grow up in happy households after their parents have divorced. Just as others have also grown up in unhappy households just because their parents tried to stay together and end up fighting all the time.

Prefering someone to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids is a very old fashioned view.

Erm people should be adults, not fight and pull together for their children and give them the upbringing they deserve.


Not rush for the exits when someone annoys you or you don't fancy them as much anymore.


If you're the type of people who flit between partners and don't take responsibility for your actions, then don't have children.


You call it old fashioned I call it decent.

snow_ball

Just because parents split up does not mean their children do not get the upbringing they deserve. Nor does it mean they are the type of people who flit between partners and don't take responsibility.

I'm not naïve enough to think all marriage break ups are as civil as my parents, but I'm also not ignorant enough to make sweeping and offensive generalisations about them. There's nothing decent about that.

Delree

snow_ball wrote: »

Just because parents split up does not mean their children do not get the upbringing they deserve. Nor does it mean they are the type of people who flit between partners and don't take responsibility.

I'm not naïve enough to think all marriage break ups are as civil as my parents, but I'm also not ignorant enough to make sweeping and offensive generalisations about them. There's nothing decent about that.

Anyone who thinks that children aren't adversely affected by their parents breaking up are living in another world. It's heartbreaking for children and no matter how well you explain that mummy and daddy don't love each other many kids think it's them.


But yeah, put them through it, they'll get over it in time. Worth the risk for your own happiness.

snow_ball

Delree wrote: »

Anyone who thinks that children aren't adversely affected by their parents breaking up are living in another world. It's heartbreaking for children and no matter how well you explain that mummy and daddy don't love each other many kids think it's them.


But yeah, put them through it, they'll get over it in time. Worth the risk for your own happiness.

Well I'm glad my parents "put me through it" as you say, the alternative would have been much worse.

Delree

snow_ball wrote: »

Well I'm glad my parents "put me through it" as you say, the alternative would have been much worse.

They risked it, glad it worked out for you.

snow_ball

Delree wrote: »

They risked it, glad it worked out for you.

For our family, it was less a risk, more a wise decision for the health and happiness of us all. But thank you.