Is it normal for women to love their husband MORE than their children?

Any

I love my husband so much, I would throw myself under the car to save him.
If a building fell on top of him I feel the frustration and fear would bring out the strenght in me to lift a steel pillar.
That is why I knew he is the one and the one I want to marry.
However-I also belive that if he hit me, or our children (we don't have any now), this love would not be so blind as to not put them first and take them away.
I know what is right and what is wrong. No one who abuses deserve any love and I don't feel I could love them.
But then I grew up to be a very strong woman, whos loyalty is very strong IF the person deserves loyalty.
Otherwise-you are out.
I am not affraid to be alone, not fear for the man to leave me and that I'll never find anyone else.. if he is that kind of man, than frankly he is not worth it, is he?
Thinking about it, I don't really know where this came from.. my own mother loved her fellas more then anyone else and was constantly worried to be alone.. it's funny how life works, isn't?

Scrapaholic

I've never thought who I'd save in a fire and thankfully , never had to . Children are grown up 30 + and we have four grandchildren . For me and my Dh , the children were our priority while they needed us and lived with us . I think that love changes as time goes by . Our children don't need us to look after them physically , but still need us in their lives . What hurts them still hurts us and that won't change . It's sad reading about some on here who have had bad experiences . The love I feel for dh is different than for our children and grandchildren but I've never thought to compare them .

Morglin

nonnatus wrote: »

I find it odd that any of you can love your Husbands more than your kids.


I would ALWAYS value my children more. I'd throw myself in front of a car to get them out of the way and I certainly wouldn't do that for my Husband.


Kids are your flesh and blood - you've grown them, known them all their lives, you know everything about them.


Husband is a man who lived before you met him, who probably has loved other women before you etc. That connection is far more fragile. You may have "lusty" feelings for Husband which gets muddled in the grand scheme of things because Lust confuses other emotions and certainly confuses reason!


All of that is NOT to say I believe I'm right and you all are wrong!! I love the passion that has been expressed for Husbands - perhaps I'm just jealous because my husband never inspired such strong feelings...??

Um, well I think the "lusty" feelings settle down to something different, after a while.;)

But, although (when younger) the kids would have to have come first, quite honestly, I love my husband as much as them, albeit in a different way.

I would do anything thing to look after all of them, because the three of them, plus now the grandkids, are everything that is precious to me.

Lin

dandy-candy

Seriously, in that fire scenario someone mentioned I would save the kids and I hope my husband would do the same.
I know and accept that one day either my husband or I will be left alone. But to outlive any of our kids? That's a day neither of us wants to see.

Threebabes

Its a different love from what I love my husband to our kids.

Its hard to explain. Your love for your kids is to protect and nurture them, to keep them safe and want the best for them. For my husband, I love him but I know he can look after himself.

LOVE LOVE LOVE ....

lostinrates

nonnatus wrote: »

I find it odd that any of you can love your Husbands more than your kids.


I would ALWAYS value my children more. I'd throw myself in front of a car to get them out of the way and I certainly wouldn't do that for my Husband.


Kids are your flesh and blood - you've grown them, known them all their lives, you know everything about them.


Husband is a man who lived before you met him, who probably has loved other women before you etc. That connection is far more fragile. You may have "lusty" feelings for Husband which gets muddled in the grand scheme of things because Lust confuses other emotions and certainly confuses reason!


All of that is NOT to say I believe I'm right and you all are wrong!! I love the passion that has been expressed for Husbands - perhaps I'm just jealous because my husband never inspired such strong feelings...??

I don't have children.

But I find the concept easy to understand.

Another way to pose the same question might be ' which of your children do you love more'

Or which of your children would you save from the path of a car. . ( horrid thought)

A husband ( all things being equal) should be able to save himself as well as you, so I guess most people would move to save the most vulnerable of the people they love equally. Children have 'parents' because they need them. . Adults will often do tremendous things for children who AREN'T theirs , simply because we recognise their vulnerability! and the fear of the loss of this is something a lot of people bemoan in today's society where people fear allegation of interference or inapproiate behaviour for approaching children who look troubled. So if they 'belong' to you the motivation to see them survive must be intense. ( fwiw there is a theory of gene survival to this too)

But when children's wants come before a relationship's needs I think marriages and families ( in my mind these two are interlinked but separate and both important) both can suffer, greatly. Sometimes a loving thing you can do for a child I think is NOT to put them first all the time because in context it CAN ( not in all circumstances) keep their 'world at large' more stable and content.