Is it normal for women to love their husband MORE than their children?

surveyqueenuk

OP, I have been thinking about this too. Not a situation that affects me but in regards to two different women I know, I'll call them Bianca and Maria...

Bianca was married, it broke up and she was left with a little boy, Morgan. She met Terry within the year and they set up home together 2 years after meeting. Morgan was not happy and became unsettled and disruptive, often stating he wished Terry wasn't there. Bianca asked Terry to move out as she considered Morgan her priority. Terry did leave, however they managed to maintain their relationship and now all three are living together again, happily this time.

I'd definitely say Bianca loved Morgan more than Terry.

Maria was married too, with a little boy called Liam. She was getting tired of her husband Jason. One night she met Marcus in a club. Within 24 hours she'd thrown Jason out and Marcus moved in a week later. Liam missed his dad and reacted in the same way as Bianca's little boy did. Maria's response was to continually post on FB about how Liam should just get used to Marcus and behave himself, after all it was HER life and she would live it as she saw fit and Liam should just stop being a little s***.

I am certain Maria loves Marcus more than Liam. Seven years down the line and Liam is receiving treatment for depression and low self esteem. He feels nobody cares about him. The poor soul is only 12. Maria says he's been moaning since Marcus moved in and he needs to get over himself. It's really sad.

onlyroz

I think the love you feel for your children is ver different to the love you feel for your partner, and different again to the love you feel for your parents. But in a "who do I rescue from the fire" scenario, if the chances of survival were equal I'd save the kids first, and I think most parents would do the same. I'd be horrified if hubby chose to save me before the kids.

Tosca3

What an interesting thread.

Bearing in mind I think nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, surely nearly half of women love their children more than their ex husbands then. But that doesn't seem to be representative of this thread.

Husbands can be transient whereas children aren't.

clark24

I love my kids the most, always have and always will. I love my husband too but my I will never love anything or anyone more than my kids.

My parents love each other more than they love me or my sister though.

nonnatus

I find it odd that any of you can love your Husbands more than your kids.


I would ALWAYS value my children more. I'd throw myself in front of a car to get them out of the way and I certainly wouldn't do that for my Husband.


Kids are your flesh and blood - you've grown them, known them all their lives, you know everything about them.


Husband is a man who lived before you met him, who probably has loved other women before you etc. That connection is far more fragile. You may have "lusty" feelings for Husband which gets muddled in the grand scheme of things because Lust confuses other emotions and certainly confuses reason!


All of that is NOT to say I believe I'm right and you all are wrong!! I love the passion that has been expressed for Husbands - perhaps I'm just jealous because my husband never inspired such strong feelings...??

POPPYOSCAR

Yes my love for my OH is stronger than the love for my children. When they were little they were always put first but now they are grown up they are not, he is.

I would still save them first and so would he as we have lived most of our lives and they have not.

FBaby

I find it odd that any of you can love your Husbands more than your kids.

I think the way bylromarha has described it, it makes sense. Indeed, I can clearly imagine my life with my children living potentially on the other side of the country, whilst i can't imagine this with my OH.

It's very much down to what we mean by love. We have different expectations from it, and we have different ways to express it towards our children than towards our partner. Depending on how we look at it, we might feel we love one more than the other, but then feel very differently in another situation.

buglawton

The ancient Greeks knew all about this didn't they?
http://typesoflove.org/four-types-of-love-greek-style/

duchy

berbastrike wrote: »

just wondering as I think my Mum does

How old are you ?

There is a difference between love and putting the needs of one before the other.

My parents loved me and when I was a child often put my needs far ahead of their own ..... when I became an adult - they still loved me and if I ever needed them they were there for me but they were a couple again and just as I had my own life- they had theirs and for day to day things I'd expect them to put their own needs ahead of mine.

Love isn't a competition - your Mum can love you and your Dad equally but in different ways. Your dad is the person who she has chosen to spend her life with.......you o the other hand will leave and find your own life partner and whilst she will remain important to you won't be the centre of your universe the way your life partner and future kids will be.

Morglin

Different sorts of love - with children, it's a sort of protective' unconditional love, whereas the love for a man is a "partner" love.

However, if push came to shove, in any serious situation, I would always put the kids first (or would have done, as they are adult now and choices wouldn't apply).

Lin