Akward Situation...

PenguinJim

quidsy wrote: »

Nope, the stats are not based on same group friends but in mine, I know only one couple out my extensive friend list where the husband is an unwilling HH due to lack of work. All others are 2 working parents, where the women, invariably do more in the home than the husband and as mentioned many pages back, I am not specifically talking about hoovering & dusting, just all the little extras that we tend to take on. We are all under 40, professionals with kids.

You are probably the only poster here who has polled both the man and woman separately in every couple you know, and then independently verified the results to prevent both accidental and intentional skews. If your "extensive" friend list is around ten (five couples), that's an undertaking of many dozens... probably hundreds of hours to produce such a report. :eek:

Are those results from your study copy-written as well, or are you able to share this time? I would find the hours breakdown quite interesting, as I mentioned a couple of pages back.

It might also help if we knew vaguely where you lived. (My money's on Pleasantville.)

Incidentally, if anyone else has invested a quite-frankly-terrifying amount of time into a similar study of their "extensive" friends list, please do share!

quidsy wrote: »

Where we seem to disagree is that I beleive the situation still needs some work & that I don't beleive men should be given special credit for the change.

I would love to see where I said, or even hinted, that men should be given all of the credit for the change. On the last page I even said that the situation is not yet resolved. And you've accused two people in this thread of "comprehension" issues! :rotfl:

quidsy

I was replying to Georgie girl actually on the credit part.

With regard the rest, i was asked some specific questions abotu how many couples etc etc, I talk to my gf & i know who has jobs in those couples. So not a huge amount of hours needed to know, unless of course girlie chats over wine time can be counted.

millysg1

Just thought id add my experience in here - probably wont add any interest to many but hey hoo ive been enjoying the debating so much wanted to add something in return.

Im 27 married women. I did Physics at university and ever since worked in engineering. I work predominantly with men. Im currently sat in a 12 person office with 10 other men. I think im paid well for my age and have a fair bit of responsibility. Im treated equally to all other men I work with and get the same pay rises and bonus' as everyone else.

My husband also works full time and gets paid less that I do. we do everything 50/50 around the house. I will come home and find him cleaning out the oven just for the hell of it. Now he wasn't like this when we first met at 18. He was a mummys boy and I taught him how to put a duvet cover on a duvet, how to use washing machine, tumble dryer and even taught him how to wallpaper. From the moment we moved in together I was clear on how it had to be equal and he has risen to this at kept it up.

On a separate note, all my 3 year old niece wanted for her birthday last week was dinosaurs and trains. Not a pink thing or princess/doll in site.

Now ive read a fair bit of this forum post and im not quite sure what all the arguing/debating is all about but I hope ive added my piece to a few raised discussions that I have seen written about today.

VestanPance

millysg1 wrote: »

Im 27 married women.

Shocking! :shocked:

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

The problem is that it starts so earlier on through choice. DD had just chosen her gcse. She picked computer science add one option that is learning programming etc clearly a progressing field where there is money to me made. Out of over 200 pupils... Only two girls picked that option my DD and another. You can't pick soft subjects to study and then complain that you don't earn the same. The choice is there from the start.

Why do you think that might be?

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

We've all admitted that the split still swings more to the woman doing more work than the man, but when are you going to admit that things are no longer how they used to be, 1950's little housewife running after her man? Men are actually more domesticated now than they ever were, and in many households, the men do the same amount (if not more) work as the women do.

I hate the way these threads turn into a men bashing exercise.

In 25% of households, according to PJ's figures. Is that 'many'?

Its thoroughly disheartening that anybody who dares to challenge the inequalities that still exist in our society just gets instantly accused of 'man bashing'. How are we ever going to sort these things out properly with so many people just wanting to shut down the debate completely?

Person_one

CH27 wrote: »

You've made a rod for your own back

See, does that not sound a bit like you're blaming the OP for the fact that her partner doesn't pull his weight? Its not her responsibility to train him or supervise him, is it?

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

I like the 'attempting to make', but as it was, not that's not what I was attempting to say

My comment was in relation to what PenguinJim was saying in relation to the traditional roles being allocated on the basis that most women are less paid when children come along and therefore the logic party to give up work and look after the children (with I guess the assumption that their chances of getting back to an equal par salary wise being then compromised for good).

My point was that if girls picked subjects more likely to lead to a decently paid career, then there is a higher chance that either they will become the main breadwinner (and the male can pick up more of the housework), or they can both work, and afford childcare AND a cleaner!

It has nothing to do with comparing salaries for the same position.

So who will do the low paid jobs? Do they matter?

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

Of course it is a case of a lack of interest I don't dispute that. My point is that children to an extent do develop interests around what they have been exposed to hence the parental influence (bur not only).I just find it very odd that out of more than 100 girls only 2 expressed an interest in the subject.

Should parents of boys also be encouraging them to take an interest in caring, in the arts, in languages and in the social sciences/humanities? The numbers in those fields may benefit from a bit of evening out, gender-wise, too.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

In 25% of households, according to PJ's figures. Is that 'many'?

Ok, maybe I was being abit generous there.

Its thoroughly disheartening that anybody who dares to challenge the inequalities that still exist in our society just gets instantly accused of 'man bashing'. How are we ever going to sort these things out properly with so many people just wanting to shut down the debate completely?

Well that's how it comes across to me. Who's wanting to shut down the debate? Once again, I've never denied that there is an imbalance, but people's continual downer on men is why I used the phrase 'man bashing'.

To those people who fail to acknowledge that more men than ever do their fair share of housework, who does your gardening? Your DIY? Do you and the women you know do all that too, as well as domestic chores? Is that not contributing to the upkeep of the house?