Adult son neglecting himself - at my wits end

marisco_2

theoretica wrote: »

Stop worrying about a son who has hospitalised himself twice in 2 months? I doubt any parent would take that advice!

Are his housemates aware that the state of the house may be contributing to his illness? What to look out for to point out he ought to go to the doctors?

I am sure this advice is given with all good intention. At what stage in his life though do people step back, stop mollycoddling a grown man by pointing out the obvious to him, and try to enable him to take responsibility for himself?

theoretica

marisco wrote: »

I am sure this advice is given with all good intention. At what stage in his life though do people step back, stop mollycoddling a grown man by pointing out the obvious to him, and try to enable him to take responsibility for himself?

I agree that philosophically a young man should take care of himself. However, surely the time for standing on principles is once he is healthy and stable?

Waves_and_Smiles

OP is/was your son stressed? I have had severe psoriasis all of my life and like eczema it can flare if you are upset. Everytime at uni when I had a hard essay or a test I knew I would be covered for a week afterwards.

Also he could just be a typical student. I and my friends lived in complete pigsty's in uni, every few weeks I would make a path to the door and wardrobe, otherwise you couldn't see the floor. Tidying seemed boring, I had work to do, friends to hang out with, pubs to go to (and forget cleaning with the hangover from heck the next day). All of my friends lived the same way, it honestly just never occurred to us as important. I also spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals with my skin but again tidying was still bottom of my list. It may not simply occur to him why he should bother when he has far more interesting things to do (playing computer games and watching tv count as more interesting when you are at that age sometimes).

What eventually changed me was going on my work placement, suddenly I needed to be presentable daily. Add to that getting an older boyfriend who was then coming back to mine (Eeeeek!) and I soon shaped up and kept things tidy. I know that keeping where he lives clean is important for his skin to you and us, but you feel invincible at that age. Even if I went into hospital it was a nuisance but I knew I would be fine and couldn't wait to get back to going out with my friends. I didn't associate the health-cleanliness connection until I had got most of the fun partying stage out of my system.

I do hope things turn out ok, I can understand that you are worried. You love him, it's natural.