Help OH is ruining everything

LameWolf

KolaKube wrote: »

I have to take OH with me as I don't drive, but setting him a few time consuming tasks in non-snack aisles, [away from the hot counter especially!] seems to do the trick... :j

I have no choice but to let Mr LW do some of the shopping; I'm disabled, and can only get to the supermarket if he's around to help me - well, that's fine, I veto things we don't need, if he looks like picking up expensive junk.

But if he's working long hours, it's expedient to get him to visit Morries in his lunch break; giving him a list - making sure it's clearly readable, and that nothing is ambiguous; I will write "M's own" so that he doesn't waste money on branded items - and looking him straight in the eyes just before he goes to work and saying "ONLY buy what is on the list" seems to work (I can be quite scary when I want):rotfl:

I do get him to help write the list though - if he has some input, we can discuss what's needed and what's junk.:o

Austin_Allegro

May I stick up for the men? I tend to be a lot more frugal than my g/f. She makes lovely home cooked meals but does tend to buy a lot of expensive ingredients. I on the other hand make peasant/nursery food type meals which cost a pittance. We're shacking up soon so I'm expecting some interesting times at the supermarket!

funkymonkey849

valentina wrote: »

Out of interest Kola, what are the "time-consuming tasks" please?
I could do with some tips for keeping the OH occupied while I stick to THE LIST.
:rotfl:

Yes please do share!

MessyMare

Sigh.

I mentioned meal planning to OH this afternoon, as I pay for all the food shopping and I'll be out of a job at the next of next week so really need to work hard to cut my bills down. His response? He doesn't want to and wont do it. It's so stupid, I wish I'd never mentioned it, if I'd just told him what we're having for tea every night he'd never know.

The problem is he eats everything in his path...I can never save anything as if it's not eaten within three days of being bought that obviously means that I wasn't ever going to eat it and he should eat it. When we first lived together I did so well with controlling the budget for food but he soon started complaining that the cupboards were empty (they weren't, just not constantly full to bursting point) and told me to buy more. He then started inserting himself into my shopping trips- as soon as he did that, the food bill doubled.

I don't know if I'm venting or asking for advice really, I try so hard to be a good OH but I seem to fail at every turn I'm so scared at not having a regular wage coming in that I'm just dreading going near the shops..

nuttybabe

mine is the same. if i tell him (used to put meal plan on fridge) he wouldnt want it. but if i gave it to him he was fine with it.

i started making my own washing gloop beginning of last year. didnt tell hubby for about 4 months then suddenly his clothes were smelly and itchy. so i told him i stopped using it and he is back to being happy even though i am still making it and using it. infact, the other week, he complained he clothes smelt of feet and i had washed them in daz as i was too ill to make washing gloop! but ssshhh dont tell him!!! lol

sandieb

Sorry to hear you will be out of a job.

I am wondering whether, as you may have a little more time, why not just shop for what you need each day? DO meal plan but keep it to yourself - then you won't have food in the house which will be eaten too quickly.

Hope this helps... it may not be a practical for you ... but just an idea.

sandieb

PS Hopefully you will have the opportunity to shop without him!

oldtractor

He's in denial. Stick to your guns. He'll come around.

MessyMare

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Nuttybabe- you are a crafty minx :P

Sandieb- I'm doing something along those lines- stuff in the freezer that requires preparing is generally safe, but I'm planning on getting the bits I need for the main meals every week as an Asda has just opened in our town. Currently we do one big shop every month, and then loads of top up shops. This is where I think I'm going wrong to be honest- there's just too much food in the house! Problem is I come from a family that always had and still has food cupboards fit to burst- I was very lucky growing up. It's just my mum and dad now but she still shops for four- I swear they could survive a nuclear attack!

restless_me

You poor thing...I totally understand and can sympathise as me and my OH have different points of view on this too (he's learning though...). We had two completely different upbringings, my family was (still is) very frugal and nothing ever got wasted. His family use a roast chicken for one meal then throw it away...WITH MEAT STILL ON!!! :mad: Drives me mad!! They also complain that the cupboards are bare when they're not, then marvel when I pull together a meal seemingly out of 'thin air'.

My advice for you would be that if you really want him to change, take baby steps and don't make it obvious. If you can get him thinking it's his idea then you're set (best way to change a man!!)

You could try cooking him delish meals from cut price ingredients (cheap cuts of beef etc) to show that frugal doesn't have to mean existing on bread and water.

Although an overnight 'lightbulb moment' would be ideal this may be a long slow process, but good luck!

Feel a bit guilty for my little rant...I love my OH to bits even if he does throw away perfectly good meat and only buy Tropicana!!