Secret life of a 32yr old man

dean23

Hello everyone, I've been reading through some of the diaries on here and I really can see how much it's helped people out. Be it giving motivation, ideas or even just somewhere to put it all down in black and white I think it's brilliant. So I've decided to have a crack at doing my own. I hope you'll be just as kind!

I'm a 32 year old man who still lives with his parents. I've a young 8 year old daughter who sadly doesn't live with me anymore. Me and her mum broke up when she was only 6. I like to think I'm as good a dad as I can be. I would have her as much as I could. 4 times a week. She would stop 3 nights and I'd take her to school etc. In the last year her mum has moved 300 miles away (for another man) and now I only get to see her every other weekend! I know this isn't much to do with my debt, but it will make sense!

So when we lived together I ran up the debts. Credit Cards at first, then bank loan to cover credit cards. Then loan restructure to cover them again. Eventually the bank wouldn't redo my loan and I had to find alternate methods including the bank of mum and dad. But it didn't stop there.

They started small at first, but I'm sure everyone knows how fast they spiral. Payday loans. To cut a very long story short and through some very bad financial decisions of my own I'm now in debt to 9 different payday lenders.

Heres a list of who I owe.

Mum and Dad.
RSB Bank Loan
RBS Credit Card
MBNA Credit Card x 2
Everyday Loans
Wonga
Quick Quid
Pounds to Pocket
PaydayUK
Peachy
Sunny
Lending Stream
Satsuma Loans
Piggy Bank

On top of these lenders I pay 220 a month child maintenance. This was agreed privately. She now want's 350 a month and is threatening CSA. I've spoke to the CSA and on my wages and the amount of time she spends at mine this is roughly what I'd have to pay. It's hard because the weekends I do have my little girl it cost's me 90 in petrol. So it's 180 a month petrol just to she her, not including normal driving to work etc.

I'm actually very fortunate really to have a good job, safe and pays well. After tax I take home roughly 2400. I know I should be able to pay my way out of the debt I'm in but to me it wasn't that simple.

I lost control over my finances and I was paying out more than I took home each month. My bank loan with RBS is up in October next year, my loan with Everyday is up in May next year. I owe my parents 3 more payments till I'm clear with them.

It really is these payday loans. I was owing around 2500 a month to cover the payments. Bouncing them about to try and stay afloat. The debt just got bigger and bigger. Until I faced the truth and know I really cant carry on like this and I needed to stop this and get a grip.

Months ago I tried for PPI on my loans, no good. My parents lent me money year ago to sort some debts which I stupidly ran up again. I cant go back to them.

I was looking into a DMP. But I decided to really try and hammer this myself. I was stupid enough to get myself into this position, I am up for the fight to get myself out.

I've contacted all the lenders and set up repayment plans myself. I know this will hit my credit file for 6 years but it's a hit I'm willing to take to get myself back on track. Here's what I've got.

Wonga - Owed £1716 - Paying £214 - 4 payments left

QQ - Owed £1607 - Paying £80 - 6 months then review

P2P - Owed £1174 - Paying £80 - 6 months then review

PaydayUK - Owed £649 - Paying £60 - 11 months

Peachy - Owed £337 - Paying £105 - 3 months

Sunny - Owed £739 - Paying £100 - 7 payments

Lending Stream - Owed £1340 - Paying £50 for 5 months, £100 for 3 months and £150 for 4 months

Satsuma Loans - Owed £503 - Paying £19.38 a week for 26 weeks

Piggy Bank - Owed £616 - Paying £50 - 12 payments


That's just the payday loans, on top of that I'm paying 150 board, 50 mobile, 310 RBS loan, 220 parents, 150 Everyday Loan, 220 Maintenance, 150 CC's and roughly 250 petrol

This brings my spending now to roughly £2320 per month. It leaves me with practically nothing but thats how it should be. I cant be wasting money here and there on different things. I know that once I've paid my parents back in 3 months that will free up another 220 to pay off my loans. Also in 2 months I will have paid Peachy back so thats another 105 and I'll be 1 payment away from being clear with Wonga. So in 4 months time I'll be 540 better off and I can make bigger payments to other lenders to clear quicker.

I think I've rambled on enough here now. It's defo helped me to even get it down and off my chest. I'm going to comment on here with payment updates and what I do to help reduce the amount quicker.

Thanks for reading.

Dean

PlymouthMaid

Well done you! Other folk who know all about these loans etc will be along any minute now but I just wanted to congratulate you on taking charge of it all. It must be hard seeing your daughter at weekends when you previously had more regular contact but really good that you are making that effort as too many Dads lose their children in this way.

JB9302

Well done Dean , respect to you for how you are managing these debts , you will start to see light at the end of the tunnel soon .

Best wishes

HappyNow

Hi Dean, welcome to Diaryland .

I know nothing at all about payday loans (I managed to rack up my humungous signature stats without going anywhere near Wonga et al ) so can't offer any practical advice, but I just wanted to congratulate you on facing up to it all, contacting the lenders, and getting a payment plan sorted.

Your repayments are pretty massive, but the positive is that everything will be paid off pretty quickly, PROVIDED you keep to the plan and don't borrow another penny.

You've got a hard few of months ahead of you, but keep sight of how you're going to feel a year down the line when you can move on and put this blip in your life firmly in the past.

I've subscribed to your diary and will keep popping in to check how you're doing.

Keep posting!

getting-sorted-sarah

You've taken control Dean, well done! This is the start of a much happier time for you.

dean23

Thanks for the kind words Yeah it is tough going from her being my world to every other weekend. I know for a fact when people find out I've got a daughter but she doesn't even live in the same city as me they think I'm to blame or I'm a bad dad. But trust me there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. My little princess. (I'm the dad who embarrasses her singing Frozen on the way home - although she acts embarrassed, she laughs and I always get her singing along )

Yeah it's going to be a long journey. Many months ahead. I didn't wanna set the repayments to low as I'm fortunate enough to be in a position that when I start to make dents it can snow ball into bigger payments for each.

Thanks for subscribing

justjohn

WD... its refreshing to see people tackling things head on rather wallowing in self pitty.


From what you have posted you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are on a good wage so hopefully the good times are around the corner.


Good luck

dean23

Sarah I can't tell you how many sleepless night's I've had worrying about all this. Quick little example how it can all work out better if you face up to it...

I owe PaydayUK £649. I've lost track of the amount of times I've borrowed. Maybe the past 5 or 6 months it's been the maximum £500 from them.

£500 borrowed, £649 back on payday.

I got myself into a position where I'd pay the £649 on my payday and on the same day I'd re-borrow the £500 again. So I was out of pocket £149 within hours of being paid.

Now I'm paying them £60 a month for 11 months.

But once the likes of Wonga and Peachy are paid back I'll be 320 better off. On top of that my parents should be paid back so it's more like 540 a month better off.

In 3 months times I'll owe Payday UK £469.

I'll be able to call them up and pay this back in whole (£320 from the 2 loans I'm no longer paying and the £220 from parents)

All of a sudden I'll be no longer paying my parents, Wonga, Peachy or Payday UK.

Then that can all do some real damage to the rest of my debts!

Dean

wannabe_credit_free

Well done Dean, in taking control and working toward getting back on track...:j

dean23

Thanks John. I'm not that kind of person. I'll admit I did let it get me down, I did let it consume my every thought. I always try and see the positive in everything and everyone. But this certainly got on top of me. Rather than face up to it proper I convinced myself it would all work out. God know's what I was thinking!

I don't believe in moaning and feeling sorry for myself over this. I'm not looking for a way out of paying or accepting responsibility for my actions. I'm the one who borrowed the money, I'm the one who agreed to the ridiculous terms and repayment amounts. Nobody forced me to do it. These are my problems and it's for me to sort them out.

I'm off out for a run now!!

TerrorTuppence

Best of Luck Dean, will follow your progress sounds like you have got it under control now. Sorry your daughter has moved so far away. I will be moving my girls 150 miles from their Dad and I feel awful about it.

Have you spoken to your ex and said you can't afford to increase the maintenance yet because of the debt? If the debts were created during the relationship will she be flexibly enough to give you breathing space to clear them?