Advice to a 21 year old?

lostinrates

Don't be afraid to admit when you have got this wrong.

Whether its a man, a job choice, or an argument at home.

My best transitions in life have been when I have realised a decision I made was wrong for me, or had become so, or my stance on a subject needed to change.

Also, Sometimes the hardest decisions yield the best results. They are hard because they are life changing. But change isn't always bad.

Thirdly, don't out something off you can start with no risk today. Whether its addressing a problem, starting saving, learning something ...procrastination is rarely helpful!

Pyxis

Go with your gut feeling. :think:

You may find you have potentially life-changing decisions to make. You may be given advice, you may know that on paper, plan A is the 'better' one, so why is your gut feeling telling you to go for plan B?

By all means thrash out all the options, but if your gut feeling is still screaming 'NO!', please listen to it! :j

And I speak from personal experience.

The only time you're likely to have regrets, is if you haven't listened to that old GF.


Yes, you are very likely to change!
On another issue, you're likely to be very different in twenty years time, from how you are now. But the change is very gradual! One thing you will probably find out is that a lot of things that matter now, won't seem like a big deal later on! It's one of the benefits of anno domini! :dance:


And yes, as several others have already said, do start a pension plan, no matter how small!! :cool:

But most of all, ENJOY! Build up a store of memories! Because memories are also experiences! And no experience is ever, ever wasted. :T
_party_ _party_

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LhjHBV20ZV4

sedment

Enjoy your life and little one! Im 35 with a 4 and 7 year old, and had a good time before I settled down, holidays and travelled a bit.
Never went down the further education route but always worked.
Pension, wish I had started it earlier but hey ho. What I have found is to stop going on fb so much and Im so much happier!! Enjoy trips to the park and library, feeding ducks etc picnics in the garden/park . Even making cakes, these are the things that children remember and dont cost a lot. They are not little for long so spend as much time together as you can x

hazyjo

I'm 44.

I wish I'd never stopped going to the gym (yes, I know there's always time, but once you get out of that habit...).

Don't stop wearing heels lol! Once you get used to flatter shoes/wedges, you will never be able to wear heels again! Not for long, anyway (or you'll just fall over like me)!

You will never feel older. You always think your life will change drastically and that you will become this old person. You don't. You still feel the same. I expect your parents say it, and older folk you know - it's true. You age so gradually, you don't notice all the major changes in your life. I remember being 16/17 and was almost traumatised at the thought of being responsible, working, kids (never had them), credit cards, travel, death... it was very daunting. But things just happen. You get on with it.

Your parents aren't there forever. You think you have decades. You may, you may not. When one/both are gone, you will remember every argument and every time you were unreasonable. Every time you want to open your mouth, think.

Take photos. Not just on digital, not just uploaded to FB, actually print them off. Get albums. We did it the old fashioned way like that (in my generation lol - jeez, I still don't feel old enough to talk like that). Nobody bothers with photos anymore. It's a horrendous shame. I have loads on an old computer which I'll never have to hold.

Enjoy it, obviously. Make time and money for memories. A day out, a short break - might not seem a lot, but kids remember. My best memories were going over to a small local weir with our fishing nets, trousers rolled up, fishing for tiddlers (at least I think that's what we used to say)

Am sure I'll think of more.

Jx

beckysbobbles1

It's great that you are volunteering but my biggest advice is to get a job and make a career. Something that you and your child can be proud of.

Sadly children often mirror what their parents do and if they see Mum not working at all then they will likely rely on the state too. It's called the Benefit trap for a reason.

You sound pretty well grounded but I would say make good use of the time you currently have.

Take on line courses or go to college to study. Learn new life skills and make sure your CV is very good. I'd suggest to get some one experienced to look over it.

My little life tip I guess is to "Never regret something that once made you smile".

Mojisola

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

It's great that you are volunteering but my biggest advice is to get a job and make a career. Something that you and your child can be proud of.

Sadly children often mirror what their parents do and if they see Mum not working at all then they will likely rely on the state too. It's called the Benefit trap for a reason.

wiggywoo has done brilliantly to get herself and her son into a safe situation - the job will come with time.

SailorSam

I'm 61 and single , i'm relativley happy with my life but biggest regrets ...
Wish i hadn't been such a workaholic, a wish i'd had more time off, travelled more and seen the world.....
I wish i'd been more selfish and put myself first before others, 'cos not many of them will do the same when you're the one needing help......
I wish i'd married when i was younger instead of thinking someone better will come along.

fivetide

hazyjo wrote: »

You will never feel older. You always think your life will change drastically and that you will become this old person. You don't. You still feel the same. I expect your parents say it, and older folk you know - it's true. You age so gradually, you don't notice all the major changes in your life. I remember being 16/17 and was almost traumatised at the thought of being responsible, working, kids (never had them), credit cards, travel, death... it was very daunting. But things just happen. You get on with it.

This. Truth bomb right there.


Also, I always liked this as a phrase because, within reason, I think it is pretty accurate and looking at some of the responses in this thread I see no reason to change that opinion!

"It is better to regret something you have done than something you haven't"

hazyjo

Oh, and another... never think you're fat lol! Or that something's wrinky, dimply, wobbly... never. You will look back when you're my age and think OMG WAS I CRAZY? I found a note in a Hip & Thigh diet book where I'd put my weight in, and had to add a comment. I was something like 9 stone 2 and had written 'FAT!!!!'. I felt huge. I really wasn't. Even in photos, I felt dumpy, short, not half as pretty or as confident as everyone else I knew...

I wish I could go back and shake myself lol! I was tiny! Petite! Cute! And why oh why didn't I have the confidence to match how pretty I was LOL! It all happens in the wrong order. We should start off wise and old and get younger. We'd all have a ball.

Size 18 now and far more body confident now than I ever was when I was a size 8-12!!!

My mate felt like that too - was a swimmer and quite tall - much bigger than all us tiny wee things, and probably a size 14-16. She felt like a massive giant and always felt massively overweight. She looks back at photos now and says she was totally normal, fit, lean, beautiful - and she wishes she'd known that at the time. She's recently lost a tonne of weight but had got up to around 17 stone at one time - I'm sure a lot of that stemmed from how she felt when she was with us little uns at school (several of us/her friends did all happen to be short/petite!).

I recommend a brilliant book called Replay by Ken Grimwood. Still my favourite book in the entire planet (has been for decades). He lives several lives in (takes the end of the second life to realise there'll be more to come). Takes his knowledge with him. Everyone should read it. We can learn a lot from it.

Jx

Person_one

hazyjo wrote: »

Don't stop wearing heels lol! Once you get used to flatter shoes/wedges, you will never be able to wear heels again! Not for long, anyway (or you'll just fall over like me)!

Sorry to be contrary, but...don't start wearing heels! They're uncomfortable and they'll screw up your back, your calves, your feet and the circulation in your legs. Just not worth it!