What do I tell my son

his_missus

There's not much I can add to all the good advice posted here.

Be honest with your son without blackening his father's image. Ensure you always keep open some way of the father being able to contact his son, even if only via a relative.

What I did want to say is that should the day come when your son eventually meets his biological father, he will have to explain to his son why he wasn't there. It is his fault he is absent and you should feel no guilt xxx

princeofpounds

OP, thanks for the reply. All good stuff, just wanted to reply to this:

Regarding monopolising my attention, yes, he knows he's my number 1. Then my career and job and then everything else. I don't imagine how a child would feel knowing there's someone/thing more important then him to his parent. That's always going to remain, whether he's 6 or 66. And yes, he might expect to be no 1 to his partner, shouldn't it be that way?

There's a difference between getting used to monopolising attention and being #1 priority, just in the same way there is a difference between being well-treated and being spoilt.

All I'm saying is that it's useful for children to learn proper coping strategies for when not everything goes their way, otherwise they can have problems as they grow up and realise the world doesn't always love them the way their parent(s) do.

Beckyy

It's his loss.

Maybe his father's relatives might be an alternative for him to have a relationship with that side of the family, if that would be suitable?