Friend dilemma over small amount of money

InsideInsurance

Dont bother splitting bills with friends and just take roughly in turns to pay instead - avoids these kinds of silly arguments and bar kama normally means things end up roughly equal over time.

You say you offered to buy her lunch, are you sure she was clear that this was in repayment of your debt to her? If someone offers me lunch I dont automatically assume its to settle any debt they may have towards me.

Skinto_7

Technically you probably did her more than a Tenner as her meal was free, so i guess you owe her £6 + £7.45 less the cost of her drink, so you probably owe her about £12.

However that would be based on it being a business deal rather than mates, if i was your friend i would have expected you to pay me the £6 back plus 50% of the £7.45, which would be £9.73 so your tenner would have been fine for me.

It always amazes how strange mates can be with money, i learnt along time ago, "never a borrower or a lender be" whan it comes to mates, but still get frustrated when out for meals etc and instead of just splitting the bill by the number of people, some of the people are squabbling over the fact they had one drink less or someones meal was £3 more than theres, seems all a bit petty to me!!

PasturesNew

purpleshoes wrote: »

I'd be astonished if a friend pulled me up after a meal saying I owed them a couple of pounds, she wouldn't have been complaining I expect if you had paid for more than the 6 pounds you owed.

Taken in isolation, this might be true ... however, we don't know if the OP's got a long history of "never having cash", "not got the right money" ... certainly seems to be a lot of that going on in just this one instance. Maybe the friend feels she's been 'burnt' many times before. And maybe the friend is the one who doesn't have the spare cash to be so slack over money, but gets backed into corners.

In just this one outing it's:
- Owed friend £6
- Invited friend for meal without having the means to pay for it, borrows meal money from friend at the drop of a hat
- Gets money from a cashpoint and feels that only having a £10 and a £20 note is sufficient to still not clear up the amounts/debt immediately, but uses another "not got the right ...." excuse.

Luella-14_2

I think your friend was right, although I probably wouldn't have said anything myself. Maybe she was a little annoyed at having to stump up (temporarily) the cash for the lunch and thought you should have planned ahead and got cash out yourself, seeing as you had offered to pay.

PasturesNew

Skinto_7 wrote: »

....still get frustrated when out for meals etc and instead of just splitting the bill by the number of people, some of the people are squabbling over the fact they had one drink less or someones meal was £3 more than theres, seems all a bit petty to me!!

I am the person who only orders a main meal and water to drink .... and my meal tends to be the cheapest.... !!!!!!!!!!s seem to try to pounce on these opportunities to order 2-3 pricey courses and a couple of drinks. Difference can be £6 for my choices and £15 for theirs. It all adds up if you're never the person with the alcohol problem and obesity/greed. If you only went out with £10 and expected to walk away with £4 so you could stop off and do 2-3 days grocery shopping, then you feel robbed when you're now told you owe £10.50 for the meal being split.

pondskater_2

Seems a bit petty to quibble over a couple of quid when she relies on you caring for her kid after school two days a week. Though perhaps she suddenly remembered this which resulted in the apology!

DUTR

Skinto_7 wrote: »

Technically you probably did her more than a Tenner as her meal was free, so i guess you owe her £6 + £7.45 less the cost of her drink, so you probably owe her about £12.

However that would be based on it being a business deal rather than mates, if i was your friend i would have expected you to pay me the £6 back plus 50% of the £7.45, which would be £9.73 so your tenner would have been fine for me.

It always amazes how strange mates can be with money, i learnt along time ago, "never a borrower or a lender be" whan it comes to mates, but still get frustrated when out for meals etc and instead of just splitting the bill by the number of people, some of the people are squabbling over the fact they had one drink less or someones meal was £3 more than theres, seems all a bit petty to me!!

However it depends on who is in the advantage or being taken advantage of, I do feel that the OP's friend is being taken advantage of, the friend is not a walking bank and shouldn't be treated as such.

I agree with the petty and penny pinching, if I go out for a meal with a group, the drinks are not to be added to the tab, when the hat goes round the bill is rounded up to the next £10 and split between the seated. Usually now with a group I will go to a buffet style or fixed price menu.

That said if I'm taking someone for lunch or a meal (not on a 1st date) they do not have to dip their hands in their pocket/purse.

Izadora

People continually not having the right change etc. when they owe you money gets incredibly annoying after a while so I can understand the friend snapping - even if it's not the OP who is generally short on cash. One of my mates has a terrible habit where, if she owes you £12, she'll give you a tenner and say "Oh, I haven't got any change on me at the moment. I'll give you the other £2 later." yet never does. It seems too petty to pick someone up over a couple of quid but, over time, it all starts to add up and can lead to resentment. As much as I hate myself for getting annoyed over small amounts of money it can also lead to thinking 'Oh !!!!!!, not you too' when anyone else short-changes you.

hazyjo

PasturesNew wrote: »

I am the person who only orders a main meal and water to drink .... and my meal tends to be the cheapest.... !!!!!!!!!!s seem to try to pounce on these opportunities to order 2-3 pricey courses and a couple of drinks. Difference can be £6 for my choices and £15 for theirs. It all adds up if you're never the person with the alcohol problem and obesity/greed. If you only went out with £10 and expected to walk away with £4 so you could stop off and do 2-3 days grocery shopping, then you feel robbed when you're now told you owe £10.50 for the meal being split.

We always split the bill between us (usually 4-6ppl), but if one's opted for no alcohol (especially only with one course like you), they pay less and we split the rest. Would've thought that's what most would do.

Jx

Skinto_7

DUTR wrote: »

However it depends on who is in the advantage or being taken advantage of, I do feel that the OP's friend is being taken advantage of, the friend is not a walking bank and shouldn't be treated as such.

I agree with the petty and penny pinching, if I go out for a meal with a group, the drinks are not to be added to the tab, when the hat goes round the bill is rounded up to the next £10 and split between the seated. Usually now with a group I will go to a buffet style or fixed price menu.

That said if I'm taking someone for lunch or a meal (not on a 1st date) they do not have to dip their hands in their pocket/purse.

Im my case, i have a strange thing where i dont like drinking alcohol with a meal, so i tend to stick with tap water while everyone tucks into the wine and beers, so i suppose in your scenerio i would be the "one being taken advantage of" i can honestly i would never once dream of doing anything other than splitting the bill evenly through the group.

I also cant see how you think the OP's friend is being taken advantage of, she paid for a few things when she was out with her mate because she didnt have any money and was then paid back pretty quickly.

As my previous post, i am amazed the OP's friend would take the full advantage of the discounted meal, so on the basis the saving was shared through the group, as you yourself say you do when out for a meal, then the OP has more than paid back what was owed.