awkward sibling

securityguy

"The reason they are giving ius 7 days to respond"

Solicitors cannot set deadlines other than as part of actual legal proceedings, which this isn't. As I've said on other occasions, there is no such thing as a solicitor's letter, merely a letter written by someone who happens to be a solicitor. You are free to ignore the letter; they are free (or, more accurately, will be paid) to take action if they choose.

Talk about abusive texts is irrelevant. If your sister believes she is the victim of abuse and harassment, she should go to the police. They will want evidence, and the penalties for lying to the police are substantial.

reason01

Thanks for your reply Security Guy I've had to set up again as couldn't seem to get back on, but following on from this trail, I hope you can help.

Yesterday ther 8th day another letter from the solicitor with the following statement : -

If we do not hear from you within the next 5 days we are instructed to issued porceeding to force you to provide the information that has been requested.

The issue of proceding would involve you in expense in complyng with our reasonable request to provide a details interim account of the assets and liabilities of the estate !!

Bearing in mind all sibling have had a breakdown, there are 6 of us, 2 being executors.

Do we now seek our own solictor? How can they take notice of this 1 fruit the loop sibling? If this does go to court and she is prove to be a lying will she incur all court costs and the estate be reimbursed? Its all the stress. She has emailed one of my brothers demanding to stay in the house for 2 days so she can see whats she wants and say goodbye, but she never bothered when mum and dad were alive. We are goling to refuse this as she the sort of person to cause trouble and then ring the police.

Please help what do we do?

missprice

reason01 wrote: »

Thanks for your reply Security Guy I've had to set up again as couldn't seem to get back on, but following on from this trail, I hope you can help.

Yesterday ther 8th day another letter from the solicitor with the following statement : -

If we do not hear from you within the next 5 days we are instructed to issued porceeding to force you to provide the information that has been requested.

The issue of proceding would involve you in expense in complyng with our reasonable request to provide a details interim account of the assets and liabilities of the estate !!

Bearing in mind all sibling have had a breakdown, there are 6 of us, 2 being executors.

Do we now seek our own solictor? How can they take notice of this 1 fruit the loop sibling? If this does go to court and she is prove to be a lying will she incur all court costs and the estate be reimbursed? Its all the stress. She has emailed one of my brothers demanding to stay in the house for 2 days so she can see whats she wants and say goodbye, but she never bothered when mum and dad were alive. We are goling to refuse this as she the sort of person to cause trouble and then ring the police.

Please help what do we do?

I thought the house was sold? In which case she can't spend any time there as it belongs to someone else now.
Doubt she would take you to court as that would cost money initially, and it sounds like she has no money, else why be so insistent on having money from estate now.

Why don't you send by recorded post so it cannot be denied, the accounts as far up to date as you have them, to the solicitor?
Also explain that your waiting on settling accounts etc.etc.

No need for you to hire a solicitor for that and little cost to you. But then the message is sent, that your not being obstructive and things take time and your doing your best to fix it all quickly. Can't be helped if your waiting for bills and stuff to arrive to be paid.

Just to add usually courts take their sweet time arranging court dates and then you could alter the dates to fit in all siblings attending and then it could be that her solicitor can't attend that day etc by the time a court date that was suitable for all swung around, this whole thing could be over.

Mojisola

MrsReason wrote: »

we have already given a breakdown of assets with a copy of the when mum first passed,

missprice wrote: »

Why don't you send by recorded post so it cannot be denied, the accounts as far up to date as you have them, to the solicitor?
Also explain that your waiting on settling accounts etc.etc.

To take the pressure off you, I would do as missprice says but also make sure the solicitor knows that she has had information from you before - enclose copies of whatever you sent her.

Keep it very brief - remember that she doesn't actually have any right to know any of this until the estate is settled.

Ignore her request to go in the house. Is she bonkers enough to try to break in? Would it be better to have someone from the family around when she is due?

reason01

Thanks for responding, house in sold subject to survey, and cash buyers so will be pretty quick we think over the next 4 weeks. There are 2 sisters, the one that's desperate for money has gone all quiet, because she thinks it costs her money, its the one that is the eldest demanding it all again, sent an email with literally everything in the house, greed, and root of all evil, we will do a letter now, thanks Miss Price :-)

Shes bonkers but don't think she'd break in, and we couldn't be present with her in the same house/buildings, we are going to refuse entry in case she takes anything, she knows what the sofa's look like but wouldn't put in past her to clear the house, shes already taken photos so god knows what else she's taken. she'd more than likely leave a tap running just to put us out.

getmore4less

MrsReason wrote: »

They say we are unwilling to communicate yet she ignores emails, we blocked her number from our mobiles and discover over 20 text messages demanded breakdown of estate (stil in spam folder). they want full details of assets and liabilities of the estate on an interim basis. They want to know why we have not dispersed the rest of the estate, money is sat in executor account, but house only just sold and we still have expenses.

She is also upset because 4 our of 6 children were gifted by our parents and because we looked after them, 2 lived away and never visited, we did not disclose this at probate stage? should we have if premium bonds where in our names? She claims she has absusive texts but its all complete lies, we cant even grieve for our mum due to all this, she a buddhist of all people !!

If those gifts were in the last 7 years and not exempt for any reason they would be PETS and would need to be included on the relevnt IHT forms, along with all other PETS.

read up about the executors year.

getmore4less

If you have given the troubled sibling the interim accounts just tell the solicitor to ask for a copy from their client.

Or just send them a copy anyway if you have them.

don't have to explain your actions for the executors year

readup about troublesome executors to know what the process is that the solicitor might follow(he don't care if you are trouble or not he is getting paid)

here is one link.
http://www.step.org/tackling-troublesome-executors


I would write something alon the lines of

Thank you for the enquiry for the etste accounts of ........ on behalf of your client ........ enclosed are copies of all the information she has recieved from us allready...

yours.


Now there is another angle but much more aggressive and would need some legal advice,

It may be that the actions of the sibbling could be harasment and a shot across the bow with suitable legal words could shut this down as it will cost her money to defend an harrasment claim(and a share of her distribution.).

No need for registered or signed for just free proof of posting(two seperate post offices for belt and brases).

reason01

Very interesting reading Thank you. We have now sent an email to the solictor with delivery and read receipts. Our email is to the point and even offering to sit with her and distribute the jewellery which we know she will decline, but at least we be seen not to be the awkward ones. (my brothers choice much to my annoyance) If they come back demanding we respond again, we will go down the harrassment root, thanks to everyone for their help.

One final question - my brother (the other exec) emailed everyone advising them on the 4th May that the house has been sold, and asking them what they would like from the house, she has finally come back asking for sofa's, tea sets, etc etc, large expensive items, has anyone had any experience of how we would make this fair, what if we have 4 siblings after the same item, would it be up to the executors to decide or do some sort of 'dip'.

Sorry for constant questions! but found this site and contents on here brilliant !!

Mojisola

reason01 wrote: »

One final question - my brother (the other exec) emailed everyone advising them on the 4th May that the house has been sold, and asking them what they would like from the house, she has finally come back asking for sofa's, tea sets, etc etc, large expensive items, has anyone had any experience of how we would make this fair, what if we have 4 siblings after the same item, would it be up to the executors to decide or do some sort of 'dip'.

One way I've heard of it done is that everyone takes a turn - you can pull numbers from a hat to see which order you go in to make it really fair. If you're not going to get together, get everyone to make a list and do it the same way - A's first choice, B's first choice, etc. If A's second choice has already been taken by the time his/her turn comes round, move onto third or fourth choice.

theoretica

reason01 wrote: »

V
One final question - my brother (the other exec) emailed everyone advising them on the 4th May that the house has been sold, and asking them what they would like from the house, she has finally come back asking for sofa's, tea sets, etc etc, large expensive items, has anyone had any experience of how we would make this fair, what if we have 4 siblings after the same item, would it be up to the executors to decide or do some sort of 'dip'.

Expensive items should be valued (probably not all that much for a 2nd hand sofa) and if the values of items taken by different people are more than trivially different the financial distribution should be adjusted accordingly. She may rethink if you send her a list with the values. Also make it clear she and not the estate would need to pay for shipping the stuff.