Feeling hurt

Georgiegirl256

butterflylady131 wrote: »

I think I maybe need to stand up for myself and in the future when something happens like this, just say straight away "Am I not on the guest list then?".

This is exactly what you need to do. I never understand it when people are upset about something (which is understandable in this situation IMO) yet never say anything or just ask why they weren't invited.

Big_Tree

butterflylady131 wrote: »

Ok, this is getting daft now. If you will re read the OP, you will see the meal was at lunchtime, so that my nieces could go (they are both quite young). And no, my perceived slights, do not rear their head because I was very well brought up and I know how to behave in company and in public.

it sounds as thought they didn't want you there....
which would you prefer?

Being invited due to guilt or obligation?

It seems that's the only way you'll get an invite.

butterflylady131

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

This is exactly what you need to do. I never understand it when people are upset about something (which is understandable in this situation IMO) yet never say anything or just ask why they weren't invited.

Thanks yes, I am not the most assertive of people and I am aware of it. I guess I was just hurt that they didn't want me there, and it seems it was a conscious decision not to ask us as they had opportunity to mention it.

butterflylady131

MissMango08 wrote: »

Use this as motivation to do your best in your studies that you can. The situation remains the same in that the dissertation has to be done regardless, so rather than letting this defeat you, use it to prove to yourself that even in hard times, you can still do amazing!

I've thanked you for this post, but I can't tell you how nice it is to see something like this when you are hurting.

Thanks

CH27

butterflylady131 wrote: »

OK, I need to concentrate on writing my mini dissertation, but I can't focus because of this, so hoping some of you good people might be able to help.
My younger brother, his wife, their two little girls, and my two sisters went out for a meal yesterday dinnertime. I'm upset because they didn't invite me, or mention to me that they were going.
It was to be a celebration of their wedding anniversary (last week), SIL's birthday (next week), and youngest sister's birthday (tomorrow).
I really don't understand their reasons for not mentioning it at all.
I phoned and spoke to SIL on Friday, to let her know that some Doc McStuffins tracksuits were in Tesco's, as she had mentioned that eldest niece had been wanting some. She said "Oh, speak of the devil. Was just talking about you!". I did ask, but she did not mention why. Everything was pleasant, said will see you at my dads over the weekend (we all congregate there on a Saturday afternoon). Spoke to eldest sister yesterday morning, again no mention of the meal. Spoke to youngest sister yesterday dinnertime, asked what time would she be down at dads, she said she didn't know.
We got to my dads, eldest sister walks in, says hello to all of us, gets changed and goes straight out, it was only then dad asked why aren't we going?

I actually feel really hurt. There's been no cross words, or arguments, and now I'm really annoyed and upset. I can't bring myself to speak to any of them. It feels like they just can't be bothered with us.

Sorry, just realised I'm not after advice, just needed a moan.

Why didn't they invite your Dad?

Georgiegirl256

globetraveller wrote: »

Is it just possible that you have told them how busy you are and they thought you wouldn't have time to go out but now you are clearly upset they are trying to make it up to you. The way you are responding is like a spoilt child to be honest.
?

People assume things, they shouldn't, but they do. They could have still asked if she wanted to go. It would have took a couple of minutes to phone, how hard is that?

butterflylady131

CH27 wrote: »

Why didn't they invite your Dad?

My dad won't go. He's not very good at being in social situations like that, and didn't want to go. They wouldn't have asked him, as they knew that,

barbarawright

The simple truth is that six people (including two small children) is actually quite a large group for a meal out. Maybe they were already planning to do something separately with you. My family (similar size) quite often see each other in different groups. Doesn't bother me at all - and to be honest, a meal out with two small kids might not be that much of a treat :rotfl:

butterflylady131

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

People assume things, they shouldn't, but they do. They could have still asked if she wanted to go. It would have took a couple of minutes to phone, how hard is that?

I spoke to 3 of them the yesterday and the day before. None of them mentioned it. There were no undercurrents of unresolved issues (I gave my brother and SIL a big bag of clothes for their youngest that mine had grown out of, and they were quite happy to receive). Mystified, but feeling less hurt.

Thanks

butterflylady131

barbarawright wrote: »

The simple truth is that six people (including two small children) is actually quite a large group for a meal out. Maybe they were already planning to do something separately with you. My family (similar size) quite often see each other in different groups. Doesn't bother me at all - and to be honest, a meal out with two small kids might not be that much of a treat :rotfl:

No, when it's a big occasion (or a culmination of 3), we all do celebrating together as it's easier. Never mind.