Only freedom will do

AlexLK

edinburgher wrote: »

Haha - I think my wife would thump you Alex

Perhaps I like that kind of thing...

edinburgher wrote: »

I zoned out a bit after 'frankly' - frankly people will consider any statement preceded with 'frankly' as a bit rude

The reason for the disparity of labour? Probably my own fault, I am a perfectionist, a bit of a control freak and if I can do a job 'better', I will. No matter how tired I am, or if I can be bothered!

I wasn't being rude, though somehow I do manage to come across to others as being so.

Ever thought of you managing the house, rather than your wife? You seem to do well with (and enjoy?) the cooking, sorting out house renovations etc. etc. and I get the impression you'd like to spend more time with your daughter.

edinburgher

AlexLK wrote: »

Ever thought of you managing the house, rather than your wife? You seem to do well with (and enjoy?) the cooking, sorting out house renovations etc. etc. and I get the impression you'd like to spend more time with your daughter.

Despite my lack of work smarts, I am the breadwinner. We can (just) pay all of our bills on my salary alone. It couldn't be done on Mrs E's wages, the 'basics' alone are over £1k/m. Anyway, I'd go mad with a baby all day every day, no matter how much I love her

gallygirl

edinburgher wrote: »

The reason for the disparity of labour? Probably my own fault, I am a perfectionist, a bit of a control freak and if I can do a job 'better', I will. No matter how tired I am, or if I can be bothered!

Ed if you want to control everything then this is the price you pay I'm afraid. I think I'm very similar to you - there's 'my way and the wrong way' . Does it actually matter if x, y and z gets done in z, y, x order? I can guarantee that in 5 years time that won't matter - but the more Mrs Ed feels your unspoken judgement the more she'll just let you get on with it - why bother trying when she knows it won't be good enough (to paraphrase Mr GG ).

You love cooking but make complicated meals which take time. Why not do some stuff from here:
http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/category/books/jamies-30-minute-meals/#s210uMgXHlpfYQtF.97
You'd still cooking be good, fresh food but not spending hours over something that, you being a perfectionist, could probably have been better if you'd tried harder . Plus the odd frozen pizza wouldn't kill you .

Another one thinking the Park Run is a good idea - a structured event which is timetabled in would stop you putting off spending time on yourself due to guilt, phone calls, having to baste the goose with saffron infused stock every hour etc. .

in_need_of_direction

My OH is a control freak in the kitchen. I used to try and help but decided that life's too short to fight for control of the cooker. We have semi resolved it where he cooks mon - fri and I get in there at weekends. You might want to try that with some things.

edinburgher

gallygirl wrote: »

Ed if you want to control everything then this is the price you pay I'm afraid.

Yes, that is a fair shout. I am trying a new policy of J(don't!)FDI

but the more Mrs Ed feels your unspoken judgement the more she'll just let you get on with it - why bother trying when she knows it won't be good enough (to paraphrase Mr GG

I am afraid it is the spoken judgement that is causing problems :eek: Mrs E has started to change in small ways after our discussions of late... rubbish is miraculously disappearing before I can take it outside, I am being encouraged to go jogging etc.

having to baste the goose with saffron infused stock every hour etc.

Every hour? You monster, that's far too infrequent. On an unrelated note, did you know that it was common practice among chefy types to inject meat with flavour marinades, brines etc.? It's obscene...

JO can go chase himself, he's far too fond of using ridiculous ingredients ('I'll just BAM this £6 pack of chicken breast mini fillets into the tub of artisanal Greek yoghurt and then WAZZ it up with a blast from my spice shotgun. BOWSHA! And the meal is done!') Point take re. simpler cooking, we're using a mix of freezer meals and ready made pasta etc. at the mo.

£30.21 OPed (Energy Club switching cashback and a small ET). I will be stopping OPs for a month after tomorrow. I'm focusing my efforts on no more than two financial things a month. This month was OPs and pensions, next month will be cash for the renovation and S&S. Sitting on my hands re. current stock market discount, will give things a few days to develop. I am very glad that I'm not just about to retire.

gallygirl

edinburgher wrote: »

I am very glad that I'm not just about to retire.

Oh no you're not .

edinburgher

Yes I am - needs more bonds! :rotfl:

ajmoney

I have a bit of a suggestion re parkrun. What about getting one of the running buggies? You could take Juliet with you (loads of people do this) so you get some time with her, Mrs E can have a short period of time to herself and as Juliet gets older she will see you enjoying exercise and it may rub off on her? You could even put stuff in a slow cooker before you go so it is ready for later on that day/week, you've got to love a bit of concurrent activity.

edinburgher

It's a good idea ajm, but not one that I can go with just now. We struggle to fit one buggy into our (small) house and it's an added expense that we could do without this year.

The point re. exercise is very valid and we're hoping that our weekly swimming trip and frequent family walks will get her into the mindset that it's just what you do.

Suspect that this is something that my super healthy sister would so do!

hiddenshadow

edinburgher wrote: »

Yes, that is a fair shout. I am trying a new policy of J(don't!)FDI

JFDI can work wonders - I imagine JDFDI could do the same.

I will be stopping OPs for a month after tomorrow. I'm focusing my efforts on no more than two financial things a month. This month was OPs and pensions, next month will be cash for the renovation and S&S. Sitting on my hands re. current stock market discount, will give things a few days to develop. I am very glad that I'm not just about to retire.

I like the 2-pronged focus. Allows for good progress overall but also good short-term momentum on the specifics. If we had more than two goals (OPs and pensions/ISAs) I'd adopt it.