Only freedom will do

Karmacat

"It takes a village to raise a child". You're doing great! We are part of your village, but we're not *there* in the middle of the night. It *is* hard work, you're right, especially in a nuclear family. I'm sure you're on the right track.

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Hi Mr E, I promise you every single parent feels the same at some point.

As Karmacat has said, you have a virtual network of people who can support, offer a virtual 'ear' when needed.

Please bear in mind, how you are feeling with the logical head of an adult is different to her. She will most definitely not remember that you weren't there for bath time etc. Cuddles when you are available, lullabies etc - don't beat yourself up and from one of your MFW Fairy Godmothers, I promise all will be well. The work on the house will be finished, you will finish for Christmas and then chill. If it takes a month or two longer to get things done so be it.

Buying a takeaway to save cooking is also fine

Very best wishes and a 'raspberry on the tum' to Juliet.

Tilly x x

smallholdingsister

I am all in favour of going to soothe her and feed if needed at six months.
I am a bit of a hippy b/f on demand type. So long as you guys are all hanging in there that's the main thing.
It IS hard...can you support Mrs E in other ways (not that you aren't already).

Have you tried turning on the vacuum, or a you tube vid of vacuuming? Some of them last eight hours.

edinburgher

The work on the house will be finished, you will finish for Christmas and then chill. If it takes a month or two longer to get things done so be it.

Thanks Tilly. We will be finishing up this Sunday (bar purchases for installation in the new year). Looking forward to some Christmas cheer.

It IS hard...can you support Mrs E in other ways (not that you aren't already).

Mrs E does not seem to appreciate the other things all that much at present, she is too fatigued and angry. Basically I'm directly caring for DD, or I'm doing nothing in her eyes. I realise that sounds a bit self-pitying, it's really not meant to (and I doubt she'd admit it), but that it pretty much the state of play at present.

DD was a fan of the hoover back in the day. I once hoovered for nearly 50 minutes to get her to drop off! :rotfl:

Karmacat

Ouch, Ed ... work is often invisible if it isn't direct ... that's what you'll hear over and over in relation to the support type work that you're doing.

I don't think there's an easy answer....




ETA - what you *could* do, for your own satisfaction, is to list and then keep a check on what you're actually doing. It's an emotive time, and passions are running high, obviously. Having hard information will help you, if not Mrs Ed.

Best of luck with it *all* - as its finishing on Sunday, its really not that much longer to go with the work on the house. Work like that is incredibly stressful at the best of times, that will be a relief all round, I'm sure.

smallholdingsister

If that's the case Ed then try to hold DD as much as you can and jiggle joggle her. Mrs E can't relax if she's squawking.

All best wishes. Xxx

newgirly

Hi Ed sorry things are tricky with your dd at the moment. Our DD was a bit of a nightmare through the night too, as she was the first one we did spends lots of time pacing up and down singing for hours every night (multiple times usually) but when we had the twins we had no options to do that really, whether coincidence or luck they were both very good sleepers in comparision.I know that doesn't help much though sorry!


By the way if it helps, our loft room was about £32/£33k for a mid terrace with a high roof already, small landing, bedroom about 20ft x 13ft ish, bathroom with bath, separate shower cubicle , loo and toilet. Dormer going across whole of back tiled to match roof, small bathroom window, 2x large velux's in front. very cheap bathroom suite (a mistake to be honest!) That was in 2012 and was one of the cheapest quotes we had, from a specialist loft company owned by a local young guy who a couple of friends had used.He and his guys did the building work and he organised all the plumbers/electicians etc. the cost covered installing the bathroom but not tiling or decorating. It covered downlighters and lights, heated towel rail, radiators skirtings etc. I think it was a pretty low price and guess it would be more like 40k ish now as I know other people who have had similar done, and it was dearer, plus prices seem to rise as house prices do. We waited about 8 months for them to start I think as they were busy.

edinburgher

Well, all of the first round finishing on Sunday KC.

Thanks both, good suggestions all round.

in_need_of_direction

So long as you don't resort to sticking a dummy in a pot of jam, you're streets ahead of me. Mr E, there is no right way. You do what you can at the time and hope it all works out. Take care of all three of you.

edinburgher

It covered downlighters and lights, heated towel rail, radiators skirtings etc. I think it was a pretty low price and guess it would be more like 40k ish now as I know other people who have had similar done, and it was dearer, plus prices seem to rise as house prices do. We waited about 8 months for them to start I think as they were busy.

Good Lord - 8 months?! Did it add decent value to your home?

Take care of all three of you.

Thanks INOD

Spent £600+ on radiators, going all modren with silver vertical rads and chrome TRVs. The house will be such a pretty money pit by the time we are finished :j