Only freedom will do

edinburgher

Didn't want to dash as the comments have been great, will respond properly in the morning

turtlemoose

I'm another in the not leaving baby camp. If that feels right to you, then do it, as is often the way with parenting choices : do what works for you. But you Ed, do not seem that type. It may feel relentless at times....but suddenly they'll be 20 and leaving home and you'll wonder where the time went. (Or so I keep telling myself!! ) I think in the grand scheme of things, you're their caregiver and they need you, so be there. My son is 3.5 and usually sleeps all night, however he still goes through phases (usually linked to things like learning a new skill, improving language etc) where he will have a few wake-ups. A cuddle from mum and some patient reassuring words (yes sweetie, it is supposed to be dark at night time, and no that shadow isn't a monster, monsters are just pretend) are what he needs to be able to drop off. As with all the hard stuff that comes with parenting, if I'm having a rough time dealing with something I try to remind myself: this too will pass.

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Evening Mr E, I may sound like a right nutter now :rotfl:

I played CDs - ok, bear in mind my kids are 19.5 and 16.5 :eek: - in their rooms every night from when they first moved into their rooms. This meant that whenever we were travelling, or in unfamiliar surroundings, I could put their music on - classical, loads of Mozart, Grieg - and they would drop off.

Everyone has different ideas on parenting and I appreciate it is hard to identify what works for each individual baby. All I would say is a calming, non distracting check that all is ok and they don't have a temperature, hungry, need changing etc worked for us.

I hope she settles down soon in her new home. You need your strength and energy to sort all these jobs. You remind me of Greent and Gally - SuperMan.


Night, Tilly x x

Debsnewbudget

If she is 6 months has she started on food yet ?
She might be hungry ?
There again, teething is an awful time. My dd used Nelsons powders with dgs and they seemed to ease him.
Parenthood is a game of trial and error and just when you think you have got it right something else happens

A_Frayed_Knot

On reading your post re; loft conversion, I know you would have already thought about mentioning that to the installers of your solar panels - dont want any wires in awkward places when it comes to your conversion, and you've thought about where your window will go as well.:cool:

Just thinking out loud.:)

edinburgher

Think of it in evolutionary terms though - in these few short years before they go to school, they're summarising hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. And she's had 9 months in the womb when she could do what she wanted when she wanted, and she's going to take time to learn timing, so to speak ...

Ed, you were worried about the party wall? Do you notice any noise yourselves before the baby wakes up? Otherwise, I'd just remember all the mums who said, before she was born, ha, you'll never get a good night's sleep again, until she's 30 ... thats the majority experience, I think. Sorry!

Oof - that's a bit deep for pre 09:00 KC

I had thought that babies developed an appreciation of the diurnal cycle after a few months?

Re. party wall, we don't typically notice noise until she wakes up, but there have been several times when we've been in and people are rustling about next door/unplugging things (nothing unreasonable, but her previous room had brick walls that were twice as thick as the walls in our new place and she was on an external wall with thick carpet). We can improve on that, but there are only so many hours in the day!

I know she won't be too cold, but are you sure she isn't waking up because she's got too warm. As you say though it could well just be her new surrounding that she hasn't become accustomed too as yet.

I don't think she's overheating Patanne. Temperature is typically in the region of 19.5 and will drop to 17 or so by the morning. She wears a sleep suit and one of those baby sleeping bags that leave the arms free (a couple of tog, nothing too heavy).

turtlemoose wrote: »

But you Ed, do not seem that type. It may feel relentless at times.... As with all the hard stuff that comes with parenting, if I'm having a rough time dealing with something I try to remind myself: this too will pass.

I'm touched, but feel like a bit of a fraud! Mrs E is *much* better at getting up with DD. I've used the excuse of having work in the morning, but to be honest, I'm struggling to remain functional at the moment I also tell myself that.

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS wrote: »

Evening Mr E, I may sound like a right nutter now :rotfl:

Everyone has different ideas on parenting and I appreciate it is hard to identify what works for each individual baby. All I would say is a calming, non distracting check that all is ok and they don't have a temperature, hungry, need changing etc worked for us.

Night, Tilly x x

Haha - night is an abstract concept - starting to think I should become a night watchman. I don't think your music idea sounds odd Tilly, a very good idea, although I'd no doubt need to modify it for the present age. What's that? Spot1fy streamed to a wireless speaker?

I think the problem is that we don't *know* what she needs.

Debsnewbudget wrote: »

If she is 6 months has she started on food yet ?
She might be hungry ?
There again, teething is an awful time. My dd used Nelsons powders with dgs and they seemed to ease him.
Parenthood is a game of trial and error and just when you think you have got it right something else happens

Hunger can be a factor, sometimes by the time she gets to bed she is so sleepy that she only drinks half her bottle and nods off, sometimes she drains the full thing. She has moved onto solids and this is a big change for her digestion etc.

On a bad night, it takes Nels0n's, gum gel, C@lpol or similar and hours of soothing.

patanne

Does your DD find your tropical fish calming, I know my DS did. It used to relax him ready for bedtime. They used to recommend them for patients with high blood pressure.

She could be picking up on your to-do list, because you have much more of that kind of thing on your minds just now. Some babies are much more sensitive than others about that sort of thing. I'll shut up now because I was never exactly mother of the year! But I do remember what it was like to go into work & have no idea how I got there I was so tired & I had a nanny (well mother's help actually & she really was).

edinburgher

She finds the tropical fish very calming, but they are currently staying with their grandparents due to our ongoing electrical works

I have no doubt whatsoever that she is picking up on all the upheaval, I've had next to no time with her and the working pattern will exacerbate that until she is able to stay up a little later.

Mrs E is a trooper, but I find myself a very poor Super Dad. I love her, can make her smile, provide for her and she lights up when I enter the room, but I'm not pulling my weight as regards baby stuff. Work is part of that, but the honest truth is that looking after a baby is far more work than I ever imagined!

patanne

It is - a lot harder work. When I had mine maternity was 6 weeks before, the week of, and 12 weeks after the birth. Re-located at 6 weeks before to near London and after the 12 weeks the money was running out so I had to go back to work & find a new job. Believe it or not a live-in mother's help was actually cheaper than daycare would have been! I used to sit in the car for 5 mins at either end of my, fortunately very short, commute just to put my head back on. That was with 3 of us doing the night shift for one child. I was lucky that I had time to go home at lunch time.

Those that you think are superdads probably only do any childcare when someone is watching so stop beating yourself up. You are suffering from the same sort of thing women did when they first started to go back to work. It is you who has expectations that are too high to be achievable. Who would it help if you did so much at home that you actually couldn't do your job. So give yourself a break.

slowlyfading

We've got an app on our phones for DS that plays background things - he likes the river sound, so running water. We have it on at night and it helps him drop off to sleep most of the time. If you search in the app store for "relax melodies" it has an icon with a moon on. It's free and has been fantastic for us