Only freedom will do

gallygirl

edinburgher wrote: »

Fish seem happy enough, I can see where the catfish have marked out their nesting sites already :T

Catfish! EEEEEKKKKKKKK :eek::eek::eek::eek:

edinburgher

Back to work now and I continue to be the sleepless wonder. Next to nothing Mon/Tue night now appears to be the norm

Feeling very uncertain at work and have started looking at a couple of jobs to apply for that pay peanuts, but are local government roles (pension), come with a defined career path, fees paid for a degree and experience that would take me to within a year of being a chartered professional. Think we could afford for me to risk it, but as always, many concerns about a leap into the unknown.

Mrs E and I have both been paid now and I've cleaned out my matched betting account for the moment (there was over £2k in there once everything cleared). I've started saving again, but the amounts aren't quite as impressive as last month.

• Money to pots
• 3 eBay items sold (c. £80 before fees and postage costs)
• 2 eBay items posted
• £1600 paid into S&S ISA (£1100 to Vanguard LifeStrategy 80%, £500 to LifesStrategy 60%)
• Money shuffle completed
• £7.72 profit locked in for MB (settles tonight)
• Possible profit of c. £16 locked in if Brazil win the world cup for another MB :rotfl: This one will doubtless fall over, I suck at picking 'dead certs'!

ljaneyr

edinburgher wrote: »

Don't quote me, but I believe it's called Gouves. A nice modern villa with a fancy looking private pool, quite a good deal as well

Mrs E and I got married in Greece, it's about the only place I'd consider retiring to the sun.

We stayed just along the coast in Malia - don't go there :eek: It was very cheap though and we didn't spend a lot of time there as we hired a car. Stalis is nice though, we ate there a lot


I'm sorry to hear you're not sleeping. I literally can't cope with anything if I don't get enough sleep. It may be worth taking a pay cut if it means you get your life/sanity back. My full time contract ends in August and I'm back to part-time from September. Although we will miss the money, I'm looking forward to getting a bit of myself back

gallygirl

edinburgher wrote: »

. Think we could afford for me to risk it, but as always, many concerns about a leap into the unknown.

Ed the way you're feeling can you seriously afford NOT to risk it?

edinburgher

Ed the way you're feeling can you seriously afford NOT to risk it?

Men have different expectations placed upon them from women (whether by themselves, other men, or the women in their lives). The drive to be a breadwinner/the co-incidental truth that every couple I know has a man who earns more than his female partner is alive and kicking. It's all well and good talking about a reduction in income, but there's always a 'but' hanging in the background waiting to spill out (so to speak).

In our case, the but is our desire to start a family and buy a family home/house. We could afford to have a child/children on the reduced income, but realistically our affordability would be reduced to the point where we couldn't buy a decent family house in central Scotland for several years.

I can't reconcile the drive for change with the level of disruption that the change might bring about. We're not talking McMansions here either, a fairly typical 3 bed semi in Glasgow is now £165k+ in an ok area.

Shortie

Hmmm - you can't fight nature and I do understand the social expectaion of the man being the bread winner. I ironically see this from the other side when I have to defend our decision to our parents that Mr Shortie is a house husband at present while we have issues going on at home with the kids.

I've always had higher paying jobs, and Mr Shortie has in the past struggled with that. But, I believe he has now settled with himself that it doesn't matter who earns what, we both contribute different things to the family unit and as long as the flow is good and while everyone remians happy then what does it matter who earns the most? It's shared money either way

I believe it is the self-imposed mental blockers that stop people doing what they really want (and that's not a criticism, I am the world's worst for telling myself all the reasons why I shouldn't go for something / don't deserve something). But if you can ignore the social pressures, then you should be able to look at what you REALLY want.

Ulitmately, does it matter what the rest of the world wants or expects of you, as long as (mainly) you andyour partner are happy with any changes and you can afford to keep the show on the road?

Not meaning to sound funny - just that sometimes we need a random stranger to challenge the thoughts that are holding us back. Sometimes they can help us get over mental hurdles around something, sometimes it doesn't. Just hoping it might have helped clear the fog a little so you can think about what you really want, not what you think society wants of you? xx


Regarding the family desire - I don't know how fine your cloth would be cut already but it took for Mr Shortie's Nan to challenge me over the thought that we couldn't afford children on our salaries way back when... As she put it, if you wait until you can afford children, it will never happen. So we took her advice and jumped. Haven't looked back since. Yes kids are expensive but more so around the work commitments than things to buy (freecycle, friends, bootsales, offers, ebay etc can all help out there to keep costs as low as possible)

I've been on the property ladder for 13 years now, 11 of that with kids. 18 months ago did we finally get a house in a lovely location - we just made do in the mean time. Everything is possible - the timings might just need to move a little bit that's all.

Secret_Saving_Squirrel

Tough decision. Only you know what is best for you but imo the short term pain will be worth the gain. Babies don't care how big the house is and by the time they are you would probably be able to move and still have the steadier job.

Good luck with it all,
Squirrel x

Shortie

Secret_Saving_Squirrel wrote: »

Tough decision. Only you know what is best for you but imo the short term pain will be worth the gain. Babies don't care how big the house is and by the time they are you would probably be able to move and still have the steadier job.

Good luck with it all,
Squirrel x

^^ This ^^

This is exactly how things worked for us

edinburgher

Thanks all (particularly Shortie for taking the time to write up that much appreciated challenge)

I'm pretty unconventional already, we wouldn't have a car if it wasn't for Mrs E and I would happily trade down to a flat that is half the price of our current one.

Fully appreciate that sacrifices can be made in the short term.

As the jobs are the same (identical roles with two councils, five posts for each), I'd only have to do one application and re-frame it

sweetdaisy

edinburgher wrote: »

Men have different expectations placed upon them from women (whether by themselves, other men, or the women in their lives). The drive to be a breadwinner/the co-incidental truth that every couple I know has a man who earns more than his female partner is alive and kicking. It's all well and good talking about a reduction in income, but there's always a 'but' hanging in the background waiting to spill out (so to speak).

Hi Edinburgher

I have always been the breadwinner in our house and I suppose I do feel there is a lot of pressure on me (pressure I put on myself I think!). To be honest though my Husband is not bothered by this, we have joint bank accounts so as long as the bills are paid I don't care who earns the most. I completely agree about the 'but' hanging in the background, because I worry about what would happen if there is only one wage coming in.

It has taken me a long time, but I have now decided that I am going to change direction completely in my career. I have started looking and will likley have to take a 50% pay cut:eek: and will need to start from the bottom, but as I have another 30 odd years until I retire, I'd like to do something different.

This does seem like a massive risk to take, but the prospect of working better hours, no longer working 'On-Call' and being able to spend more time with the children, outweighs the risks. I am continuing to build up my savings as much as I can, so overpayments have stopped for the time being. But this is necessary for me to be able to change jobs, to hopefully have a better work life balance.