Second Bedroom House Dilemma

belfastgirl23

I honestly don't get why you would put him in the bigger room (which I know is different from what a lot of others are saying). If you get him a cabin bed then the smaller room can always and permanently be his and he will probably be equally happy there as he would be in the bigger room, especially if he's not a one for playing in his room. If your guests are more likely to be in couples then they will need the bigger room so your son would de facto be sharing with other people if you gave him this one. Of course the proviso is that if your son really hates the small room you'd reevaluate.

I also think that your partners views should hold some significance here - she's presumably paying at least part of the mortgage and therefore gets to have a pretty big say in what happens in the house. Then again I'm of the generation where kids were expected to fit around their parents needs and not vice versa lol.

neverdespairgirl

We have a 3 bed flat with 2 rooms that are the same size (13 x 12) and one which is smaller (12 x 8). Son has smaller room. Larger rooms are ours and spare. Son appears to be relatively happy.

It means the spare room can have a double bed in it, which would seem very crowded in the smaller room.

FatVonD

I think you need to ask yourself what would you do if your son was both of your child, would you give him the second best room then?

I get the impression (only because you've posted the thread) that you would give him the bigger room and that it is your partner pushing for the larger room to be a guest room which I think gives a great indication of where your son falls in her pecking order.

getmore4less

jweb2k wrote: »

Hi all,

I've got a dilemma - my partner and I are buying our first house - a three bedroom home and have found the perfect one.

Clearly not.

Pollycat

good_advice wrote: »

Hiya, I would let your son have the larger room but neutral decorated. Not kids theme room.

I have exactly the opposite opinion to this.
I would think that a 5 year old would feel much more comfortable in a room - however small - that was decorated and furnished totally for him, and possibly with his own input for wallpaper, bedding etc as a kind of adventure for him.

I think the OP is getting too hung up on the size (but then again he is a bloke ) of the small bedroom.

If you look at the sizes of the 3rd bedroom in many 3 bedroomed houses, 9' x 7' is a typical size.
So in a family with 2 kids, one will have to have a small bedroom - and may be much older than 5 years old and sleep in the room 7 days a week not just every other weekend.

Seanymph

It's not about the room size (of course a small room is ok for a child) it's about whether the room size is sensible given the option of a larger room in the house.

It's about your g/f's view of your child's status in your joint life together.

What would happen if something happens to your ex and he is with you full time? Would she still want to put him in the cupboard to allow space in her life for her friends above a child?

Pollycat

Seanymph wrote: »

It's not about the room size (of course a small room is ok for a child) it's about whether the room size is sensible given the option of a larger room in the house.

It's about your g/f's view of your child's status in your joint life together.

What would happen if something happens to your ex and he is with you full time? Would she still want to put him in the cupboard to allow space in her life for her friends above a child?

'What if'? :rotfl:

I'm sure if something like that happened, they could rethink the arrangements.

Last time I tried redecorating, wallpaper did come off and I found I could paint over existing paint.

I think calling a 9' x 7' room a 'cupboard' a slight exaggeration.

Flugelhorn

9'x7' probably doesn't look too small to a five year old if it is all his own den where he can put his stuff and know it will still be there when he comes back next time.

I have five bedrooms, 2 are used as studies - the occasional guests sleep on a sofa bed in the study

Seanymph

But then you probably don't have kids who were sidelined by a new partner, unfortunately you can't 'paint over' damage done to children who are put second in every decision in the 'new family' their father chooses.

He obviously has concerns, not about the room size, but about the entire choice his new partner is demonstrating.

Talking about bed sizes is not facing the elephant in the room.

Room sizes = importance in his question, that's how I see it, it's how his ex will see it, and in time it will be how his child sees it.

She is allocating the smallest space she can to his child, I was making a point - he is choosing a woman to set up home with, and may well end up with his child - he needs to make sure his new partner allocates space, in every way, in their life for this child to come into.

burnoutbabe

In most houses, the spare room would be large enough for a double bed, some storage etc. So the kids room would be the single one.

Unless you want older parents visiting, having to stay on a cramped sofa bed? Or the son keep having to swap rooms around. A 9 by 7 room is very impractical to have a double bed in for guests but would be fine as a single room with space for wardrobe and storage.