Have I right to ask the ex to meet the girlfriend

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • welshone1welshone1 Forumite
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    Thank you for your replies
  • sharnadsharnad Forumite
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    Of course you want to meet the person who is hoof to be caring for your son when they go abroad. You don't have the right to insist on a meeting but you can refuse permission for your son to leave the country
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  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    welshone1 wrote: »
    My ex has my son every other weekend with his girlfriend he wants to take our son abroad with the girlfriend for a week. My son as never been away from me for more the 1 night every fortnight.

    If your son has only had one night away from you at a time so far, I wouldn't agree to him being away for a week in this country, let alone abroad.

    How about suggesting the father takes his son for a short break in this country first and see how that goes?
  • marisco wrote: »
    You cant insist on doing this. Essentially whilst a child is in the care of a parent it is for them to decide who they introduce them to. It is up to the adult to only allow contact between a child and new partner, if they deem them suitable and trustworthy, not putting a child at risk in the process. If your ex is doing this then you have no grounds to object. Perhaps his refusal to agree to your request, is due to him feeling you should trust his judgement as the child's dad.

    In any case even if you did meet with the new partner, whose to say that during that brief time you would then be in any better position, to ascertain if she was suitable to be around your son? In the ideal world where everybody got on it might be 'nice' just to smooth the way if the other parent did meet the new partner. That rarely happens though.

    Again, what I meant you just have a better way of putting it.

    Take offence all you like, but that is the way it appears to me. You basically want to dictate who he goes on holiday with under the guise of concern of your son. What on earth do you think she is going to do to him? And as I said what are you going to glean from her in half an hour? I would trust my Husband's judgement if we split up. If I didn't I certainly wouldn't have had a child with someone if I didn't trust them to look after out child. Your basically saying you think he would let harm come to his son. I'm not surprised he has refused. It's just another control thing and kids being used as a weapon. You should be glad your son has a stable environment and your ex is willing to take him away. Some Dad's just aren't interested and as usual, one that is trying get's dictated to/controlled.
    I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
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  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    welshone1 wrote: »
    when he not got a girlfriend he don't want to know him
    welshone1 wrote: »
    He as had Christmas dinner with my partner and me and he meet him cause it's the right thing to do as parents

    As you had the courtesy to introduce your new partner to him, I think he should reciprocate.

    If he only has his son when he has a GF, does he leave it to the GF to do the bulk of the caring?
  • edited 30 April 2014 at 9:43PM
    welshone1welshone1 Forumite
    131 Posts
    edited 30 April 2014 at 9:43PM
    Bluemeanie wrote: »
    Again, what I meant you just have a better way of putting it.

    Take offence all you like, but that is the way it appears to me. You basically want to dictate who he goes on holiday with under the guise of concern of your son. What on earth do you think she is going to do to him? And as I said what are you going to glean from her in half an hour? I would trust my Husband's judgement if we split up. If I didn't I certainly wouldn't have had a child with someone if I didn't trust them to look after out child. Your basically saying you think he would let harm come to his son. I'm not surprised he has refused. It's just another control thing and kids being used as a weapon. You should be glad your son has a stable environment and your ex is willing to take him away. Some Dad's just aren't interested and as usual, one that is trying get's dictated to/controlled.


    You have not got a clue he changed after we had our son not going into detail he changes his girlfriends like changing his cars. He is only interested when he has a new girlfriend . He pays no maintenance for his child doesn't go to parents evenings don't go to any of his out of activities . When I left the family home I took our son to him everyday on my way home from work. Cause I was not going yo let get away with ignoring another child. Just to add he leaves 5 mins round the corner
  • edited 30 April 2014 at 9:47PM
    Ms_ChocaholicMs_Chocaholic Forumite
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    edited 30 April 2014 at 9:47PM
    welshone1 wrote: »
    My son is 7 and don't trust my ex at all we divorced because of his behaviour. I don't think it's wright that I would allow my son on holiday with someone that I don't know.


    I have a real issue with you referring to your child as "my son"

    You can't have any safeguarding concerns regarding your son otherwise why would you let him stay overnight at his dad's for one night.
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
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  • welshone1welshone1 Forumite
    131 Posts
    Mojisola wrote: »
    As you had the courtesy to introduce your new partner to him, I think he should reciprocate.

    If he only has his son when he has a GF, does he leave it to the GF to do the bulk of the caring?

    My son is just left in front of TV and play stAtion and this is what he had told me he doesn't go the girlfriends house because he doesn't like it there. He has said he only wants yo spend time with his daddy
  • edited 30 April 2014 at 9:55PM
    iammumtooneiammumtoone Forumite
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    edited 30 April 2014 at 9:55PM
    I have a real issue with you referring to your child as "my son"

    I think that is a bit unfair. The OP seems to be making all efforts to make sure the child sees his father (the only issue is him going away to another country for one week, I am sure if they were holidaying in this country it would be different). It seems if she wanted him to be her son, it could be quite easy for contact to be dropped with his father!
  • MrsE_2MrsE_2
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    welshone1 wrote: »
    You have not got a clue he changed after we had our son not going into detail he changes his girlfriends like changing his cars. He is only interested when he has a new girlfriend . He pays no maintenance for his child doesn't go to parents evenings don't go to any of his out of activities . When I left the family home I took our son to him everyday on my way home from work. Cause I was not going yo let get away with ignoring another child. Just to add he leaves 5 mins round the corner

    I think the point people are trying to make to you, is, you won't get to know her in a brief meeting.
    There is nothing to be gained from it.
    Its not unreasonable to ask, but it will resolve nothing.
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