Have I right to ask the ex to meet the girlfriend

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
121 replies 10K views
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  • POPPYOSCARPOPPYOSCAR Forumite
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    Bluemeanie wrote: »
    But meeting the girlfriend for half an hour isn't going to help/resolve this?

    Yes that is what I do not understand.
  • welshone1 wrote: »
    You have not got a clue he changed after we had our son not going into detail he changes his girlfriends like changing his cars. He is only interested when he has a new girlfriend . He pays no maintenance for his child doesn't go to parents evenings don't go to any of his out of activities . When I left the family home I took our son to him everyday on my way home from work. Cause I was not going yo let get away with ignoring another child. Just to add he leaves 5 mins round the corner

    Again, so how does meeting the Girlfriend for half an hour change any of your dissatisfactions with him as a parent??? That's what I can't get my head around. When you say "ignore another another child" are you saying he already had kids with someone else and didn't bother with them and you still went ahead and chose to have a child with him?! Now want to dictate what he does because you made a poor choice for a Dad to your kid?
    I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
    Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    welshone1 wrote: »
    He only has one night for a reason that went through the solicitors

    You may not want to give the reason behind this but, if he was only allowed one night at time, has anything changed that would now make it reasonable for him to be responsible for his son for a week at a time?
  • iammumtooneiammumtoone Forumite
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    jaylee3 wrote: »

    And what is wrong with the OP calling the boy 'my son?'

    I have seen quite a few people pulled up for this in cases where the parents are separated.

    However I also see mothers referring to their child as mine when they are with the father, no one picks on them for it!
  • This is either a troll or their changing their story to suit. To many holes and contradictions in the whole thing.
    I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
    Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.
  • POPPYOSCARPOPPYOSCAR Forumite
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    OP

    What exactly is the problem here?

    If you meet the girlfriend are you then happy for them to go abroad on holiday because that is how you first post reads to me.
  • cazziebocazziebo Forumite
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    If there is an emergency his father will have to deal with it.

    I understand the concerns but the child has two parents. Neither parent will have the opportunity to vet every one of the other parent's associates that the child might come into contact with. It's difficult to let go, but when parents split up it's necessary to allow the other parent space to be a parent. It's wonderful that his father is planning a holiday - seriously OP - there will come a time you will look forward to getting a break.
  • POPPYOSCARPOPPYOSCAR Forumite
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    Bluemeanie wrote: »
    This is either a troll or their changing their story to suit. To many holes and contradictions in the whole thing.

    Sadly it does look that way.

    The title of the thread is about 'meeting the girlfriend', not 'worried about child going abroad on holiday with father'.
  • edited 30 April 2014 at 10:51PM
    marisco_2marisco_2 Forumite
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    edited 30 April 2014 at 10:51PM
    welshone1 wrote: »
    You have not got a clue he changed after we had our son not going into detail he changes his girlfriends like changing his cars. He is only interested when he has a new girlfriend . He pays no maintenance for his child doesn't go to parents evenings don't go to any of his out of activities . When I left the family home I took our son to him everyday on my way home from work. Cause I was not going yo let get away with ignoring another child. Just to add he leaves 5 mins round the corner

    I thought there may well be a lot of background to the trust issues and emotional conflicts you have with your ex. Meeting his new girlfriend would do little to nothing to resolve any of these though. The decision for whether this would happen isn't actually even for your ex to make. The woman may be of the opinion that she doesn't want to meet her boyfriends ex, and that you should be out of sight out of mind as far as she is concerned. Accepting of the fact that as she is dating a man with a child then he will be in touch with you, whilst feeling there is no reason for her to meet you.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • If he only had the child overnight one night a week for genuine reasons then he shouldn't be taking him away for a week unless those reasons have changed.

    If you feel you need to meet the girlfriend because she will be the one caring for the child for the week then, imo, the child shouldn't be going.
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