Dream house, but then there's the neighbour

TBagpuss

I agree that it would be sensible to speak to her, as you would to other potential neighbours , to ask what the street / area is like. It give s you the chance to see how she is towards you, and also how you feel about speaking to her.

There are two issues here, 1 whether she and her husband will be good neighbours - which they may be. It may be that she totally underestimated the impact her manner had on you and did not apologise as she felt she had done nothing wrong, or that you/your husband were in the wrong by 'having a go', or that the whole thing was a storm in a teach cup. It may also be that she is a bully and that this will spill over into her behaviour as a neighbour. If you can. speak to some of the other neighbours, too, and see what they say generally.

The second issue is how it will affect you. If you are going to be stressed and anxious a the thought of how she *might* behave then consider how much of an impact that will have on how much you are able to relax at home, enjoy the garden etc. How big is the house and the garden? How easy will it be to keep a distance from them as neighbours if you want to?

ilikewatch

People probably think I'm an ogre at work and I know that my robust management style doesn't suit the delicate personalities of some of the people I come into contact with. However, I'm pretty certain that I'm a model neighbour and have never had any issues in that department.

penguingirl

I think it depends- are you likely to let it impact how you live in your house knowing she is next door? Or are you will to move on and start afresh?

What kind of a road is it? How likely are you to see her a lot? We live at the end of a cul-de-sac with small houses so see the neighbours a lot (no walls between front gardens etc), but my parents can go months without seeing their neighbours (detached houses with large front gardens and walls/ hedges). Sometimes it's a case of 'better the devil you know'. I'd rather have someone who is probably going to maintain their house well, be relatively quiet etc. than someone who is very noisy/ not bothered about the street even if I didn't like them much as a person.

KateBob

penguingirl wrote: »

Sometimes it's a case of 'better the devil you know'.

This ^^^, you know what you're getting on one side at least.
Most people move into a house with no idea what their neighbours are going to be like.


And now I'm going to contradict myself by saying, this is going to be your home for many years to come. If you really think this will make you feel uncomfortable in your own home it's not worth it, your home should be a sanctuary.

Lily-Rose_3

I can't honestly see this being a massive problem TBH. As many have said here, most people who are gobshytes at work are pu$$ies outside, and don't say boo to a goose.

That said, I would not purchase the house. There is bound to be more.

Davesnave

duchy wrote: »

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Mind you she may be dismayed to have YOU as a neighbour as most teachers like to draw a line between home and work as much as the rest of us.

If that were the case, it would be her own fault for buying in her own catchment area!

Some Heads known to me travelled 20-30 miles to school, perhaps to avoid this situation, or maybe because they found much better value elsewhere

onlyroz

I speak to my neighbours maybe around once a month, and that's usually just a nod and a "hello". Our paths just don't cross that often. I also agree with others who say that her personality is likely to be radically different in a "home" environment. My mum was a teacher and whenever I witnessed her in "scary teacher mode" she was a completely different person. If you have concerns then I'd suggest speaking to her - something innocuous like "I've seen the house next door to you is for sale - what's the area like?". Then you might be able to guage how she reacts in non-work situations.

Contessa

I agree with the posters who said that most teachers prefer not to live in the school's catchment area.
Perhaps she would feel "on the back foot" by you living next door?

MidLifeCrisis_3

Thanks for all the different perspectives. I will take them on board and see what happens should we manage to sell our house.

silverwhistle

TBagpuss wrote: »

the whole thing was a storm in a teach cup.

Ooh, I'm going to remember that one for future use.:D